


Achievement Township

by nescamonster



Series: Nescamonster does stuff [5]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Angst, Horror, Jeremy pov mainly, M/M, Minor Character Death, Sad, Suicidal Thoughts, basically achivment hunter versus zombies, cause who doesn't love love, dunno what to tag, kind of background characters, only low mentions of Caiti and Jack, tags added as they become relavent, with a little slow burn love in there
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-06
Updated: 2017-12-14
Packaged: 2018-09-15 09:02:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 49,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9228047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nescamonster/pseuds/nescamonster
Summary: Jeremy got on the wrong helicopter and now he's stuck with a bunch off assholes during the end of the world.good or bad he's not sure but it is just his luck...So fanfiction so obviously not super original, blend of Achievement hunter a few Rooster-teeth guys and inspired by their seven days to die and this App i've got called Zombie Run.TAKING A BREAK FROM WRITING ON HIATUS FOR A BIT





	1. Touch down

Jeremy swallowed nervously as the helicopter shuddered. The pilot grinned at him, her smile out of place in his opinion so high up in the air.

“Just a little turbulence, nothing to worry about.”

“Just keep your eyes out there would ya?” Jeremy snapped holding tight to his seat, his stomach lurching. His pilot laughed and obliged him, her smile even wider than before.

“You’re not a heights fan I take it?” She asked him and he peeked further out his window, instantly regretting it. All there was to see were the empty and trashed streets of the city they were passing over, empty of all but the dead that is. He squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head.

“Heights are fine, you know…most days…the days when I’m on the ground and not in a tiny little tin can zipping about in- ahh!” He stopped talking as the helicopter shuddered again, the pilot rolling her eyes and flicking the radio switch.

“Achieve township, this is sierra two-two-four from Rooster base, do you read me, over?” static sounded in their ears and the pilot shrugged.

“Sometimes it’s hard to get through, the towers aren’t really maintained that well anymore-“

She was interrupted by a male voice speaking in the static, getting louder and more clear.

“- _township, this is Ryan Haywood speaking, our usual radio head has popped out for a moment, so you got me, uh, over? Is that right?”_

“The pilot gave a groan and Jeremy heard her say ‘amateur’s’ before she hit the radio again.

“Roger, that’s correct. We’re requesting permission to land, we have some supplies and maybe a new friend for the boys and girls to play with. Over.”

“ _Oooo new friends? We just love new friends here. Over.”_

“The sarcasm isn’t appreciated Achieve Township. Over.”

_“Lady, sarcasm is our language here, get used to it. Over.”_

“I’m not the one staying. Over and out.”

 _“that means you don’t want to chat doesn’t- “she_ turned off the radio and looked to Jeremy through the corner of her eyes.

“Level with me here. You and I both know we’re not bringing half the usual amount of supplies. I just lied to the Township!”

“Technically you lied to the radio guy.” Jeremy pointed out and she gave a small groan of frustration.

“Yeah ok, I get it, you don’t know anything, sure… Your just to go wait until someone approaches you in the township and asks you about project freelancer. Then you get your real mission.” She grouched then raised a brow when he looked at her sharply, confusion on his features.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“Project freelancer… You- you are Church, right?”

“No! I’m Dooley! Jeremy Dooley!”

“Oh, fuck nuggets!” The pilots cursed, “I picked up the wrong fucking guy!?”

She didn’t have a chance to expand as her instruments started beeping rapidly, lights flashing red, panic in her passenger.

“What’s going on? What does that mean? What’s going on!”

“WHO THE FUCK HAS A ROCKET LAUNCH- “they were hit, fire whooshing by Jeremys head as he curled to the side, the helicopter spiralling as the pilot tried to desperately save them.

“Mayday! Mayday! Sierra two-two-four going down! we’ve been hit by hostile rocket launcher! Two souls aboard! West of Achieve township! Get the parachute!” she shouted the last at him, not needing to repeat as Jeremy was already throwing himself out of his seat, clipping the parachute on. He paused by the door, holding a hand out to the pilot.

“COME ON!!” He yelled but she shook her head.

_“Supply chopper! You’re going down fast! Jump! If you have parachutes, then fucking jump!”_

“I can land her! I can land her!” the pilot was yelling and Jeremy had no choice, he had made it this long by knowing a lost cause when he saw one. He ripped open the door and jumped, the helicopter falling away from him as he pulled his chute.

He watched as he swung in the air, horrified as the helicopter spiralled, hitting the side of a building, bouncing away from it to crash in the street. The ball of flame was impressive and Jeremy was dumbstruck as he gently glided in the air aimlessly.

His radio headset was still on.

“ _supply chopper occupants! Did anyone jump? Is anyone alive?”_

_“Haywood, move I’m back now- “_

_“Fuck off Heyman the supply chopper just went down.”_

_“Oh, fuck me- “_

_“Is anyone alive? Hello!?”_

Jeremy was afraid to let go of the straps to the parachute but he had to flick the box sitting at his hip to transmit his voice. He shut his eyes and imagined he was somewhere else. Not in the sky, hanging from fabric above a ruined city filled with the hungry dead. Yep, anywhere but there.

“ _Michael and Ray say they see a parachute.”_

_“I trust Rays scope and eye any day- Listen, whoever is parachuting down, your about to land in a fucking bad place to be. The horde is there, attracted by the noise. If you can hear me, run for the tower. It’s your only chance! Just fucking run!”_

Jeremy didn’t know this Haywood guy but his advice seemed sound. Jeremy opened his eyes just in time to start weaving through buildings, looking at the radio tower, noting the direction. The streets were alive with dead, moaning, shambling and groaning, always groaning…

He unclipped himself as he hit the ground, rolling with the momentum and jumping to his feet. All around him the dead were moving, coming closer, attracted to the pants of breath and the beat of his heart. Jeremy hit his transmitter and started bolting through the streets, dodging the rotted hands reaching for him.

“Hello?! Hello! I’m Alive! I made it! Fuck, I made it down!” Jeremy panted, dodging through the zombies. Not a lot now, he seemed to be running out of the main area but they still could take surprise swipes at him from behind cars or debris.

“ _Yes! WE HAVE A SURVIVOR!”_ Ryan sounded so happy, like this was a win they needed. Jeremy could hear a short struggle like someone had tried to grab at a mic, but Ryan was talking again.

“ _Ok alive guy, you’re going to want to head westish of the tower, avoid the crowds you know what I’m saying?”_

“You got it, Haywood, right? I’m Jeremy.” Jeremy managed to slow his run into a gentler pace, keeping an eye out for any more dead but he had a second to catch his breath.

“ _Call me Ryan. I’ll save the ‘nice to meet ya’s’ for when you’re here.”_

“can’t wait for that.” Jeremy said sincerely, his simply helicopter ride out having become complicated and way more dangerous than he had expected when he’d gotten up this morning. He was meant to go out to one of the townships, so he had reported to the airfields. They were in a little bit of chaos, a zombie attack in the night having caused everyone to be sleepless and unorganised this morning.

Personally, Jeremy had been happy to leave the Rooster Base, the place full of people who were serious faced and grim, all efforts towards either restoring humanity or stopping the horde. Distributing survivor civilians who trickled in was part of it. Jeremy thought he had got on the right helicopter but apparently not.

“ _Me neither.”_  In the background of the transmission, Jeremy could faintly hear people talking, maybe arguing, and was that a bird?

“ _So Jeremy, we are trying to get you on street cams but it’s proving a little difficult. What I need you to do is tell me roughly where the tower is from your position.”_

He looked up and around having lost track momentarily of the tower during his run. He saw it over the buildings, putting a hand up to shade his eye’s noting the sun and the direction which he fed to Ryan. He heard the shambling again, groans coming from behind him. He glanced that way then started off at a fast walk down the street.

People don’t survive long exposed as he was so he was happy when he heard not just Ryan but a few other unidentified voices yell out.

“ _We see you!”_

_“Little short, isn’t he?”_

_“Dude…”_

_“Oh, shove off Ray you know I’m right.”_

_“Boys! Get the fuck back up on the walls, would you? Take Genius boy here with you.”_ More bird sounds and Jeremy was looking around, locating the street cam and waving at it.

“ _Jeremy!”_ Ryan was back sounding pleased, “Good to see ya buddy!”

Jeremy raised his arms in a shrug, amused, having learnt long ago that you should just take your humour where you can get it.

“Good to be seen! So where am I going? I’m kinda assuming your inviting me back to yours, right?”

“ _Not so fast bud, you could be anyone.”_ A gruffer voice said and he heard Ryan object like he’d been pushed aside, “ _I’m Geoff and this is my township. No one gets in here who can’t pull their weight and by weight I sure as shit don’t mean dick.”_

_“Geoff, come on man- “_

_“I kicked Joel out, I’ll kick you too Ryan, shut the fuck up. Now, Jeremy, right? If you just make your way over to the hospital, you’d be doing me a big favour and in return, I may let you bunk here.”_

Jeremy was irritated but he walked the edge off, having to start moving again. He could see the occasional camera and made a point to stay within its sights. This was the way of life now, Jeremy was shitted off sure, but this Geoff had a point. Only people who proved they could survive could get in huh? Jeremy would prove his worth, just watch.

“What you need?”

“ _see? Finally, someone who just fucking listens.”_  Geoff spoke, sounding less gruff and more approachable. There was the sound of a door opening and closing and yet another voice added to the fray to confuse Jeremy.

“ _Joel said you wanted me?”_

_“Jack, just in time, tell new boy what shit you need from the hospital.”_

_“Runner seven.”_

_“Ryan?”_

_“Jeremy can be the new runner seven. Since your sending him to die where you sent the last one.”_

Oh, that didn’t sound too good.

“ _Don’t slow down idiot, your trailing zombs. Ok, sure, so the last runner we sent there died, doesn’t mean you will. Just means we really have dire need of any-fucking-thing you could pick up.”_

Jeremy was going to punch this Geoff in the face when they met. But he listened as Jack got on and introduced himself as the head medic for the township and the supplies they needed most. As Jack spoke, Jeremy broke into a sports store, getting himself a backpack and a solid metal bat.

“ _Nice choice.”_

_“of course, Ryan has a boner for the guy who burns daylight to pick up a- “_

This time when a zombie lurched at him, Jeremy swung with all the strength of his broad shoulders, detaching the half torn off head from the body. It fell at his feet and he went around, trailing the bat so as not to get the blood on himself.

“ _Ah-hem, Jack? You were saying?”_ Geoff’s voice cracked and went high, Jeremy chuckling and hearing that both Ryan and Jack, who sounded extremely similar, were also laughing.

“ _Just ah- like I said, anything antibiotics at all would be amazing but really just fucking anything you can get your hands on, medical wise.”_

“Don’t want me to pick you guys up some teddy bears from the gift shop?”

“ _Dude, if they have diet coke…”_

_“Ryan, no one cares about your little obsession.”_

Jeremy rounded a corner, seeing the hospital ahead. His feet stuttered to a stop as he caught sight of the parking lot.

“Ah guys?”

“ _Yeah, we see them. Head around, cut a wide circle. They seem to just be hanging out in the park. The sides and backs seem clear.”_ Jack told him the information seriously.

_“Smoke break I guess?”_

_“sure Rye, that’s what they’re doing.”_ Jeremy could almost hear the eye roll. These guys seemed like his kinda assholes. He just had to survive long enough to meet them in person.

He went wide around, coming up on the patient wards first, looking inside before he smashed a window with the but of the bat. He broke out the rest of the glass and using a patient blanket from a cot that had been apparently tossed out, threw it over the window sill in an attempt to protect himself from shards.

He dropped to his feet inside the hospital, bat in hand, eyes wary for any movement.

“I’m in.” he whispered, the dim inside of the hospital seemingly appropriate setting for hushed voices. The men in the radio room apparently agreed, answering back just as quiet.

“ _Jeremy, we’re blind where you are. If you can make it towards the chemist, there’s more working camera’s.”_

“Roger, roger.” He murmured and crept forward, looking out into the hall before he walked into it. It was clear this had been a zombie infection zone, blood just everywhere, footprints of it and hand prints on the walls. Jeremy determinedly turned away from the small print, half the size of an adult one.

“Dude’s it is a mess in here.” He said, more so he could concentrate on human voices and not the scene he was imagining right now. So similar to his own story. Everyone had one.

Ryan told him someone else’s as he went.

“ _That’s what runner seven said. Emily… I liked her. She was smart and funny and…well, anyway, they sent her yesterday with her partner Runner. They didn’t even see the zombie until it was on her. She ran as far as she could from the hospital so at least there’s one less zombie to worry about huh?”_

_“Rye, maybe you should go have a breather.”_

_“No Geoff, you wanted Jeremy to go, he’s there. May as well hear what happened to the last runner huh?”_ Ryan snapped at what Jeremy assumes is the boss but he didn’t get a response, just talking to Jeremy again _, “Just beware of patient doors alright? that’s where it came from. The corridors can block noise at times.”_

 _“_ I’ll keep that in mind.” Jeremy said seriously, weaving back and forth to make sure he was always the opposite side of an open door. His bat was held tightly and his heart thundered. No matter how many times he did this, walked around where people used to be, it still terrified him deep in his core. You never know when a moment might be your last.

“ _Like Emily’s was…”_

_“God he’s as morbid as you are Ryan.”_

_“This just in, go fuck yourself jack.”_

“I was talking aloud wasn’t I?” Jeremy was mortified, the habit a bad one when you’re in a zombie apocalypse. Speaking his thoughts aloud were a side effect of the six months he had been alone however, not an easy thing to shake. When your all alone, surrounded by the walking dead, your own voice could be the link to your sanity. Or insanity, depending which way you looked at it.

“ _It’s ok kid. We get it. We see you now by the way. Don’t drop your guard, you know, just in case, but your way looks pretty clear.”_

Jeremy entered the chemist without any problem, grabbing anything with the names Jack had given him, filling his pack with pills and ointments, bandages and cough medicine. He put the near bursting thing over his back and picked up his bat when he heard it. Around the same moment as he heard the rattling groan, Ryan was crying out.

“ _OH GOD! It’s her! Emily?! How!? She ran! I watched her run! What is she doing back!?”_

Jeremy swore, the old runner stumbling in through the only entrance. There wasn’t enough space for Jeremy to swing and her dark sockets seemed to settle on him. From her open mouth came the noise that was in every survivor’s nightmares, the rattling groan of the newly risen. She seemed almost alive, only the blood on her arm and the sunken look to her face clueing Jeremy in that this woman was dead.

That and the horror of the men watching from the camera’s.

“ _Ryan get out!”_

_“No! Emily! Oh god, Jeremy… Please… Please you have to put her out of her misery!”_

_“Jack help me here!”_

Jeremy ignored the sounds of struggle, concentrating on the zombie that was moving towards him, unheedful of the junk spread across the floor, her shoulder knocking shelves, making her stumble but recover, the never-ending groan pouring over her lifeless lips, her glassed eyes looking into Jeremy who was still backing up.

_“Please! Please fucking kill her!”_

_“Ryan come on! You don’t have to watch this man.”_

_“Jeremy, if you want in this town then I order you to fucking run here right now! Get by her and just fucking run! The parking lot buds are breaking into the lobby! The horde knows your there, get out!”_

Jeremy growled and reached the end of the aisle, ducking to the side and up the opposite aisle, a shelf now between them.

“Yeah sure Geoff, I’ll get right on that!” he growled sarcastically like it was as easy as strolling out. Having given Emily/zombie the slip, he was about to leave when Ryan’s heartbroken cry made him stop and look back. The zombie was turning on unsteady legs, already looking at him over her shoulder, the rest of her body catching up.

“ _Don’t leave her like that! Please?”_ Jeremy looked at the exit, then at the zombie then back again.

“FUCK!” He shouted in frustration, shaking his bat in front of him before he took two steps towards the zombie woman.

“If I die I’m fucking haunting your ass Haywood! I don’t give a shit if I’ve never seen your face, I’ll fucking work it out!” Jeremy threatened, unbelieving himself what he was doing for a complete stranger. If the horde broke in, they’ll know just where he was in a few moments.

He went back into the opposite aisle and put his hands to the shelves. With a roaring cry of effort, he tipped it over, bottles and glass falling everywhere, the noise something atrocious. His plan worked however, when he moved around, Emily was pinned, blood pooling lethargically from a puncture of wood through her abdomen. Dead blood escaping at a thick drip.

“ _Emily.”_ By the sounds of it, Geoff and jack had given up trying to man handle Ryan out. Jeremy raised the bat high and brought it down with a wet thunk. He brought it up again, hitting the same spot, feeling the skull cave. To be extra sure he did it twice more until he saw brain escaping from the mess and had to retch, stumbling back.

“ _Thank you…”_

_“Never mind thank you’s, they’ve broken in. Jeremy run!”_

He was out of there, slamming into a wall in his haste, throwing a look over his shoulder, seeing the horde crowd the end of the hall. He picked up speed, barrelling down the halls, jumping over beds and chairs. He wasn’t even running anywhere really, just getting distance between him and the zombies that were spilling into the hospital from the front.

“ _Wait! Stop!”_

“No! I only have one mercy killing in me a day!”

“ _Stop fucker! We need that Box file!”_ Jeremy skidded to a halt, jumping a little in major anger before he turned, panting scanning the hall for whatever Geoff was on about. As he huffed he was guided back to the nurse’s desk he had bolted by. The groans were distant enough that he felt somewhat secure to search for the box file they had stopped him to get.

It was up high, near the camera, balanced atop a file cabinet like someone had thrown it up there so it wouldn’t become more trash on the ground. Jeremy stood below it at sighed, throwing a finger at the camera before he climbed up the draws, reaching and grabbing the thing, pulling it down so it fell to the floor with a loud bang.

“ _Careful! I don’t say this lightly but that thing could be worth your life!”_

“Jack right?”

“ _Yeah-ha.”_

“Just a fyi, a lot of people are going to get bitch slapped when I do make it to your township.”

“ _Sounds fair enough. Now get out of there and bring us our shit. There’s a nice little bunk here with your name on it.”_

Jeremy decided to take Geoff’s advice, the shuffling and groans getting worse. He hugged the file to himself and ran further into the hospital, finally reaching a point where he could get out the same way he got in. Smashing a window and jumping out. He had to abandon the bat to carry the file so he wrapped his fist in bedding.

“Hulk smash!” He chuckled to himself as he broke out the window and in the quiet had forgotten the radio was still transmitting.

“ _Nice job hulk.”_

“Thank you Ryan.” He’d just own it. Seriously, he’d take humour anywhere these days. Things were dark indeed as evidenced by the uncomfortable little throat clear Ryan did before speaking.

_“So, ah, thanks…For back there… It was dangerous to do but I appreciate it. She-she wouldn’t have wanted to be like that.”_

“Who would buddy? Who would?”

_“I hear ya.”_

Jeremy run a distance eating trot, only the occasion course corrections made by Ryan, the others seemingly having left since the excitement was over. Baring extremely bad luck, Jeremy was relatively safe to make it to Achievement Township.

_“Unless this equipment is shitter then Gavin complains it is, you’re from Boston right?”_

“Yeah, I guess dodging zombs brings the Boston out.”

_“You should hear Michael, one of our other runners. He’s from new jersey and he never sounds more the part then when he’s in a mood.”_

Jeremy laughed, looking forward to meeting these people, achievement township only a twenty-minute walk away now and he wasn’t walking. He was going in spurts, slowing down to catch his breath then speeding up to devour some distance. He was hot and thirsty but he didn’t have any water on him. All his stuff had been in the helicopter.

“Damn it.” He cursed when he realised.

_“What? Zombs?”_

“No, no… I fucking, I left my fucking shit in the back of the chopper. It’s probably smoke and ashes by now.”

_“We can get you hooked up here.”_

“No, well yeah, clothes and shit but this- “

_“personal items huh?”_

Jeremy cursed again slowing down and taking a few deep breaths over his legs. After a few moments, he started forward again, just walking and looking down at the file he had grabbed.

“What the hell? CDC? Why would your boss want this?”

“ _Geoff isn’t my boss so much as he’s the owner and founder of this place.”_

“Whatever, untwist your panties and gimme an answer, would you?”

_“Wow, that was salty.”_

“Look, I’ve been a helicopter, shot down, parachuted in, outran zombies to many fucking times, did you a solid, did Medic Jack a solid and risked limb to grab whatever the fuck this is. All before I’ve even met any of you. Answers would kinda be nice.”

Silence from the radio, Jeremy wondering if he’d scared off the only guy who seemed like he wanted to be friends.

“ _My name is Ryan Haywood. I was a computer technician once upon a time. Now I’m a runner. Like you will be. It’s our job to run out into this mess of a world, retrieving supplies, scouting locations, answering distress calls, just whatever the fuck we need to.”_

_“Geoff Ramsey owned the land we’ve set up base on. Had a nice hilltop vantage, some stout walling we could build on and a working well. When everything turned to shit, he and his Doctor buddy Jack Pattillo, you’ve heard them both, along with Joel Heyman, set up this little survivor boot camp. It’s grown to just over sixty people. The number fluctuates of course, Emily dropped us down but you make us back up again.”_

_“What you hold in your hot little hand seems to be a box file from the CDC which stands for ‘centre of disease control.’…You want answers? Well you’re holding them new friend. Welcome to achievement township, I’ll see you in just a moment.”_

During Ryan’s speech, Jeremy had broken free of the city and made his way down the road until he saw the township for himself. The walls were cobbled together, stones and brick and cement but seemed sturdy enough. The gates were impressive, thick metal crisscrossed and attached to some sort of mechanism, framed by two watch towers that were two stories high.

“FRESH MEAT IS HERE!” someone called from above, then the gates shuddered and begun to rise up, leaving Jeremy to skip over some barbed wire, climb down then up an empty moat, then cross a no man’s land to walk under the heavy duty looking defences. Just inside was a goddam mounted gun and a crowd of people, most holding weapons.

“Hey! Nice to meet you shit head! Fucking punch me and you’re going back over the wall.” The voice he recognised as Geoff had no business on the body. Geoff was a little older then he had been expecting but maybe that was just the worry lines carved down his face. His beard was scraggly and grown in but his moustache was what was impressive. That and the art work that covered both his bared arms, his sleeves rolled up to expose them. He came straight to Jeremy, clapping him on the shoulders then sliding an arm around the shoulders he’d just patted, making Jeremy into his side.

“Ok folks! You can ogle the pretty boy later! Go fuck off and do your jobs.” He dispensed the crowd, letting go of Jeremy to call up to the watch towers, two men hanging over the rails to stare down at them.

“Hey idiots! You left the door open!” he pointed out then they disappeared the sounds of arguing being heard over the clank of the gate lowering. Jeremy was lead from the gates towards a little standalone almost hut cabin hybrid where a network of generator and cables ran to it and a hazardous satellite dish looking thing was perched at the top.

By the cabin door a tall man leant, with tousled brown hair and a goatee that looked well groomed, probably due to the knife he was twisting in his fingers.

“Haywood! Got your new bunk buddy here!” Geoff called as they approached, then grabbing the file out of Jeremys hands. The brown-haired guy pushed off the wall and started towards them.

“Ryan?” Jeremy asked and the guy scoffed, holding out a hand.

“No, that idiot’s inside trying to fix whatever he’s done to my set up. I’m Joel, nice to meet you.” Jeremy took the man’s hand as he was speaking and cried out in alarm when he was yanked forward into Joel’s face, glaring down at him. By their side, Geoff seemed unconcerned, just flipping through papers as Jeremy got way closer then he wanted to, to the older man.

“See the little guy in the purple hood and glasses around? His names Ray and he’s my boyfriend. You have a problem with that, we can take care of it right here.”

“no, no problem here dude!” Jeremy spat out quickly, the threat of having the stranger in his face was very uncomfortable.

“good. Cause I hated close minded bigot assholes before there was a zombie horde beating at the door. I sure as shit don’t want to hear any ‘we most repopulate’ bullshit from anyone.”

“I’m sure the new guy is fine Joel, and if not I’ll toss his ass out. Go send Ryan out would ya?” Geoff spoke up finally and Jeremy was released so Joel could smile warmly at him and pat his arm like he hadn’t just been threatening Jeremy.

“Just making sure the air is clear you know? Lighten up lil buddy.” He said easily and strode away. Geoff shifted so he was side on to Jeremy.

“Used to be a really easy going guy. Then we had a group come in, thinking they could take us over from within. Real, this was the apocalypse and we all must do our part to rebuild no unnatural shit, kinda guys you know?”

“Well what happened to them?” Jeremy asked, curious, his eyes on the cabin Joel disappeared into and the noises coming from it now.

“We asked them to leave and when they didn’t we killed them, severed the heads and punted them over the wall.” Geoff said mildly, Jeremys mouth popping open as the cabin door swung open and a tall guy with sandy blonde hair came out. He hit the floor and ran over.

“Jeremy! Nice to meet you!” Ryan cried then enveloped the man in a hug he wasn’t expecting but answered with his own.

“Nice to meet you too. Finally.” He said back, the two breaking apart and smiling at each other.

“Listen, thanks for watching my back.” Jeremy said, and Ryan put his hand near Jeremys neck, up on his shoulder.

“No, thank you. For the hospital…Thank you.”

Jeremy understood, no one wanted to know their loved ones were trapped like that. Dead and yet not. A monster with a face you loved.

“Yeah, yeah, good job new guy. Ryan, I got to get this to Jack and that bag he’s got too. You mind giving the tour? He can bunk with you guys. Your right, looks like we got our new Runner seven.” Geoff didn’t ask, just tucked at the bag on Jeremys back until the man let it slide from him, the sudden weight off his back feeling freeing. Ryan gave Geoff a thumbs up as the man cursed and with effort threw the bag on his own shoulders.

“Fuck your strong kid. Nice to meet ya. I’ll talk to you more later.” Geoff waved and he was off.

Jeremy looked to Ryan who grinned at him.

“I bet you’re thirsty after your day, let’s hit the mess first huh?”

 


	2. Welcome

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryan half asses a tour to skip right to the mess where Jeremy meets some of the people of the township and learns a few things about the situation he's found himself in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Characterization i can do, setting a detailed scene, not so much so please forgive the higgelty piggelty lay out of the township. Just kinda imagine stout walls and a bunch of buildings made from scratch dotted around a farm house near the centre.  
> Dialogs heavy just fyi

Geoff walked off and Jeremy was left with Ryan after one of the longest days of his life. Ryan smiled and said the magic words to spark the man to life.

“Mess hall this way.” He said, cocking a thumb.

Jeremy fell into step beside him as they walked, Ryan doing most of the talking since Jeremy was pretty worn out after all the running he had done today.

“Welcome to Achievement township I guess. I’m not normally on radio, our radio tech guy is Joel, you met him, right?”

“Oh yeah, I thought he was going to gut me right then and there.” Jeremy shivered and Ryan grinned wider.

“So that’s what it feels like huh?”

“What?”

“To be the guy complained too about the psycho, not the psycho themselves.”

Jeremy wasn’t sure if Ryan was joking or not and the chuckle he gave wasn’t reassuring. He waved a hand at Jeremy, seeing his face and snorted.

“Don’t worry about it. Yeah, Joel’s normally pretty laid back guy but when it comes to Ray, he’s…A little territorial. Just don’t give them any shit for their preferences and you’ll do fine.”

Jeremy nodded seriously then gave a self-deprecating smile.

“So ah, I take it you guys are cool here with, uh-“

“We don’t give a shit what you want to stick your dick in here ok? As long as it’s not a pig or a zombie or an electrical socket.” Ryan winked and gestured to a farm house that was set up in the midst of more solid and basic looking buildings.

“That there is Geoff and Jacks place. No, they aren’t together. Geoff owned this land and he and Jack built pretty much everything pre-zombie you see. Joel was a really good friend of Geoff’s, they used to be a group but I guess only Geoff and Joel survived…” Ryan trailed off into silence for a moment before he shook himself out.

“Mess hall thissa way. I’ll give you the proper tour later, after your fed and watered.” Ryan pointed out a solid brick building, with no windows except slits in the sides and a chimney where smoke billowed out. Jeremy had reached the Township late afternoon so it seemed he was in time for dinner since Ryan paused at the doors and looked down at him.

“OK, no pun intended here, but don’t let them eat you alive. Give as good as you get and you’ll be fine.” He put a hand to the door then paused again, looking once more at Jeremy who was growing more anxious by the moment, “Ignore just absolutely everything Gavin says.” He opened the door a slice and noise hit them like a wave.

“Who’s Gavin?” Jeremy asked but Ryan was already stepping through a chorus of greetings rising up from inside. Jeremy stepped inside to find the building consisted of kitchenesque appliances stuffed against the furthest wall along with a more traditional looking fire oven and spit. The rest of the space was crammed with steel or plastic cafeteria style tables, no seats, everyone standing or sitting on the tables.

“Fresh meat!” Jeremy was immediately set upon and separated from Ryan who was being greeted by two men both sporting impressive beards only one with glasses. His attacker was a younger guy with copper curls and glasses that had been patched along the nose. Curls threw his arm around Jeremys shoulder and pulled him into the crowd of around twenty or so people, waving a hand to get attention then pointing it at Jeremy.

“Oi! Shut the fuck up and listen! This is the guy who crashed our supply chopper into horde territory!” Jeremy gulped as the noise died down and people stared. Then another young guy similar in age to Jeremy burst through the crowd, his teeth all showing in his smile and sandy locks falling into his face.

“No bloody way! That crash was Top!!” He crowed in a British accent and the crowd broke, cheering and laughing as the brit now crash hugged Jeremy who had no idea how to process the praise.

“Bloody ‘ell mate you must have had one hell of a day! Micool! We better get the man some food!”

Micool rolled his eyes and looked down at Jeremy tilting his head towards the kitchen end of the mess.

“Foods that way action star, do I look like your fucking servant?”

“His names Jeremy guys and why don’t you go bug someone else?” Ryan appeared to Jeremy great relief, the man called Micool letting his arm off Jeremys shoulders and backing up.

“Well you just got here Rye-bread and we haven’t seen you all day.”

“That’s not true Micool, we went in when I needed to hook them up to the city grid and-“

“Shut up gav.”

“Excuse me!” Jeremy finally found his voice, tired and thirsty and hungry and these idiots were between him and his food, “I’ve been running all fucking day so if you’ll move, I’ll run my way to some freaking food alright?”

Micool and Gav both laughed and waved him through. He peeked up to see Ryan smiling approvingly and the two left the two men behind hearing when they began an argument that was all affection no heat.

“Michael and Gavin. Been together since before the Zomb outbreak. They’ve got some sort of bro code thing going on between them. Lucky us, cause they’re our bunk mates.” Ryan explained, the two working their way through to the food.

A woman turned towards them, her hair done up in a practical bun and her glasses were fine. She smiled at Ryan then smiled brighter at Jeremy. She seemed to be the one doling out food, a massive pot simmering over the fire behind her.

“Smells great Caiti, what is it?” Ryan said by way of greeting. The woman giggled and shrugged.

“Stuffed if I know. Just tipped a bunch of cans in and started stirring. I’m calling it outback surprise.” She winked at Jeremy who registered her Australian accent.

“Sounds lovely, two rations please, and maybe put half of mine in his bowl? Had a rough start to the day.” Ryan’s gesture was touching but Caiti shook her head.

“I’ve heard Rye, but no can do. You need a whole serving yourself, don’t think I didn’t notice you missed lunch again.” She scolded him with a spoon then served them up two bowls, Jeremy’s noticeably bigger. When he looked up at the woman she put a finger to her lips and winked.

“thank you so much. You’re an angel.” Jeremy said sincerely Caiti colouring.

“Don’t let Jack hear you say that. He’ll crow about it to the cows come home.” She joked and Ryan cocked his head to Caiti.

“This is Jack Pattillo’s wife. Our generous ration manager.”

“Bloody oath mate.” Caiti grinned then pointed out the water coolers to Jeremy, “It’s not plugged in but the waters fresh and thanks to our well, no one needs to watch how much they drink with dinner. Go nuts. And hey, welcome to Achievement township.”

Jeremy nodded a thanks to her and they moved off to get drinks. As they did Ryan handed him a spoon he had acquired from god knows where.

“Eat a few mouthfuls before someone notices, would you?”

The bowl was full of noodles, beans and little macaroni’s swirls that he obliged Ryan by stuffing a few mouthfuls in as they weaved towards the water. Pre-zombie, it wouldn’t have been a nice meal, the different flavours clashing, but to Jeremy, it was heaven in a bowl. He rapidly ate a decent chunk out of his extra serve.

“Dude, did you want some of your serve back?” Jeremy asked, feeling guilty he didn’t think about it before he dug in. He was just so hungry, a state that was all too familiar. Perhaps not going away anytime soon as Ryan gave him a sad look.

“Actually, this is a full serving. Caiti could get in real trouble for how much she gave you.” Jeremy swallowed hard, looking at Ryan bowl then his own. Ryan’s was barely half of what Jeremy had been given. Ironically Jeremy didn’t feel as hungry, his gut turning in trepidation.

“Hey, don’t worry about it. Technically, if you hadn’t done the hospital run you would have been here for lunch. That’s your daily rations in one bowl.” That didn’t make him feel any better, “I’m sure we’ll be sent out for supplies soon.” He sighed and continued.

“yeah we really needed the supplies on that helicopter. But all well. Hey, any idea where that rocket came from? We weren’t really looking so we didn’t see where it came from.” They got their waters and Jeremy followed Ryan’s lead, sitting on a table and balancing the bowl on a leg, their cups side by side between them.

“No. I’m ah, I’m kinda not good with heights? So, you know, wasn’t looking myself.” Ryan nodded and took a drink of his water, face thoughtful. Jeremy quickly took a few more mouthfuls of food, the feeling of something in his stomach comforting.

“Does that happen often? Rocket launchers and people being assholes?” Jeremy asked of his new friend. Ryan laughed and shook his head, Jeremy noticing the way a few strands tugged free of the small ponytail at Ryan’s neck. He’d been alone a long time before being picked up by Rooster Base.

“No, no. Well there’s Funhaus camp to the east of us, but that’s more of a… Friendly? I guess that’s the word for it? Friendly, rivalry. You know, we prank them, they prank us-“

“-pranks?” Jeremy questioned but he said it too quietly and Ryan didn’t hear.

“-Then there’s Macklemore Airport Base, directly north, across the city at, you guessed it, Macklemore Airport. Those guys are fucking Dicks and I wouldn’t put it past them to gun our supply down but the fact is, unless their situation changed, they don’t have the firepower.”

“You talking about Dickbags at the airport?” The man with a red beard and glasses came to stand before them, a cup of water in his hand. By his side was a smaller man, almost boyish in looks with hair that came to his shoulders and a huggable figure.

“Hey Jack, meet Jeremy, new runner seven. Jeremy, this is Jack, our head medic and handy man around the base. He’s the one who pretty much build most of the buildings around here.” Jack extended a hand and Jeremy took it shaking it firmly.

“Nice to officially meet you Jeremy. If I recall, you were going to bitch slap me when you saw me? Can I take my glasses off?” Jack even brought fingers to the frames, Jeremy waving him off.

“No it’s fine. Like I said to Ryan, being in danger kinda brings the Boston out of me.” He joked and was glad when all three men laughed, then the younger guy was extending a hand to be shaken.

“I’m Kerry. One of Jacks assistants.” He said by way of introduction and Jeremy nodded smiling. As they shook hands Jack turned back to Ryan.

“So why we talking about the Airport assholes?”

“Wondering who shot down the chopper and why.”

“Well maybe you’ll get answers. Geoff’s thinking of sending runners out to the crash in a few days after the hordes dispersed.”

Jeremy looked between them and raised a hand, getting a chuckle from both older men and a wink from Kerry.

“Polite, isn’t he?” Jack said to Ryan who nudged Jeremys shoulder with his own.

“He’ll learn. No need for raised hands, just butt in like everyone else does.”

“Just ah, how does volunteering work. I wouldn’t mind going by the wreck myself if that’s an option.” Jack looked to him confused until Ryan leant forward.

“Personal items got left behind.” Jack nodded in understanding his face turning sympathetic.

“Ah, ok I get it. I’ll talk to Geoff, and of course, Ryan here. Since you got him on your side, your pretty much guaranteed a go.” Jack assured him and Jeremy looked to Ryan who smiled guiltily.

“I’m kinda the head runner.” He said by explanation. Awesome, apparently, Jeremy was getting friendly with his boss. Good job kid, way to pick ‘em. Idiot.

“I’m pretty lucky Caiti and I were together when everything went down. She’s the only personal item I need.” He looked over at his wife with a smile that softened all his features. She caught him looking and waved, jack waving back. Kerry made kissy noises by his elbow and got a head slap as a reward.

“anyway,” Jack said forcefully glaring at Kerry before turning back to Jeremy, “I get others weren’t as lucky. I hope your shit is there and in one piece, whatever it is.”

“Thanks Jack.” Jeremy said sincerely putting his empty bowl aside and taking up his drink. Ryan saw he was done and got to his feet, his own bowl still in hand, not fully finished.

“If you’re done, then we better go get you settled in.” he said and Jeremy nodded getting to his feet as well. They said goodbyes to Kerry and Jack and made for the door. Jeremy watched as Ryan paused by a young boy’s shoulder, putting his bowl down on the table in front of the kid.

“Hey mind cleaning this for me?”

“Really?! Thanks Ryan!” The boy exclaimed and Ryan grinned exchanging a hand shake and shoulder clap with presumably the boy’s father before re-joining Jeremy.

“I eat on the runs. You’ll see.” Ryan explained with a shrug but still Jeremy could see how the clothes hung from the head Runner, like they had fit once but no more. Everyone around had the same look and Jeremy wondered how bad a situation he had found himself in.

They left the mess, dark having fallen. Ryan lead them over to the barracks area, another result of homemade buildings, looking solid despite that fact, more window slits instead of actual windows. Jeremy asked about it and Ryan gave him a strange look in the dark.

“Why would we want window? Just another way for zombies to break in. The slits ventilate as well as give us a way to shoot out in an attack.” Jeremy felt dumb, his long day catching up on him and making him tired. Ryan once again gave him a warning before he went inside.

“So ah, something I better mention…We lost a lot of things with the old world. Privacy is one of them. We’ve done what we can but um, well… You may hear people being, intimate, and common sense should dictate but I’m also warning you now, we don’t tease them. People can get comfort however they want so long as their safe.” Ryan was looking to him seriously and Jeremy shrugged. He looked up at the stars, unable to look at Ryan, glad the dark would be disguising the flush along his cheeks.

“When shit went down, I got trapped, alone…for six months… trust me Ryan, I’m not going to object to any human noises I hear. It’s nice to just be around people again.”

“Huh, and I just thought you were a shy one.” Ryan said wonderingly, Jeremy shaking his head and dropping his gaze to his feet.

“No, just unused to speaking to anyone. Except myself of course.” He gave a laugh at himself and fell quiet when Ryan placed a hand on his shoulder.

“trust me Jeremy, you won’t lack for words in here.”

Inside the Barracks was a lot quieter then the mess but still there were people talking. There were an odd collection of different beds, mostly single’s but the occasional double. Each bed had what looked like curtains around them that could be pulled to give the illusion on privacy. Some were already hidden away but others were awake, chatting or reading or just looking around.

Michael and Gavin were there along with the man he identified as ray. When your being threatened by a large serious looking boyfriend, you kinda remember the description. This man was slight and wearing a purple hoodie even in the heat, all three looking up when Ryan and Jeremy entered.

Michael and Gavin were sitting on a double bed, Ray on a single facing them. Ryan lead them straight over clicking fingers at Ray.

“That’s Jeremy bed, get off.” He said mildly, Ray getting up and putting his hands up as if in surrender.

“Fair enough.” He said, putting hands in pockets and leaning up against the wall. Jeremy waved at him, flushing in embarrassment in the lamp light.

“No, it’s cool man. You can sit there.”

“nah, we tend to respect each other’s shit around here. Was only sitting there cause a few minutes ago it was emi-“

“Let’s get you settled in huh? I’ll go check the trunk, I think we’ll have some clothes for you.” Ryan said loudly, stalking away towards some trunks at the other end of the space. Jeremy saw there were containers at the ends of each bed, places to store your stuff. The end ones must be spare.

“Dude, what’s his problem?” Michael asked of no one but Jeremy moved closer to them.

“Were you about to say Emily? Cause uh, I bumped into her today.” He started then trailed off, not wanting to go on. Gavin cocked his head at Jeremy.

“But she was bit, right? No way she hadn’t-…Oh…” He quieted down as they all thought on that, Jeremy nodding and hoping they weren’t going to hate him for what he had done.

“Did you…?” Michael asked next and Jeremy nodded. All three didn’t speak, all looking at nothing, lost in thoughts. After a moment, ray pulled a hand out and patted Jeremys shoulder.

“Good man. You really did her a favour. Thanks.” He said simply, the other two nodding and Gavin even giving a sad smile. Ryan came back with clothes over his arms.

“You’re a little difficult to shop for but Reece was a little on the shorter side too, so maybe these will be good? If not, we’ll have a peek around the other barracks, see what they have.” Ryan said, giving Jeremy some pants and a shirt to change into. Michael pointed a finger at Ryan and shook his head.

“No way are we trading with Barracks three again. Miles totally ripped us off last trade.”

“No he didn’t. Spare blankets for pillows was a good trade.” Ray said mildly and Michael turned on him.

“Hey Mr Main house, butt out would ya traitor?” he said heatedly but with a smile. Jeremy looked between them unsure what they were going on about but it was clear there was friendship and trust between these men. Ray grinned and shrugged, pressing off the wall and starting to sunder away.

“Your right. I should get my traitorous ass into my air-conditioned room.”

“ _Joel’s_ air-conditioned room!”

“My boyfriend, my room, my aircon. Have a good night guys.” Ray teased and went out, Michael scoffing after him and Gavin chuckling. Jeremy turned to Ryan, keeping his voice low.

“They seriously have aircon in the main house?” He asked and flinched because Ryan had no need to keep his voice down.

“They sure do. But they don’t really use it. Waste of generators and the noise muffles sound.” Ryan told him then had to turn as someone got off their bed and came to his elbow wanting his attention for a moment.

“Ryan the explanation guy huh?” Gavin said to Jeremy with a wink then he rotated on the bed with a groan, pulling his legs up and laying out, a pillow under his head. Michael shoved long legs away as Gavin laughed and pressed them to his back.

“So your Runner seven now huh? I’m runner three, Rays two and Gavin here is five. Ryan’s Runner six, but he’s head runner as well as our elected Barrack boss.”

“How do the numbers work?” Jeremy asked, sitting on his bed, tossing his clothes beside him. Michael lent forward and shrugged.

“Honestly, it’s whatever numbers available. Seven is the smallest number we had open right now. There’s around fifteen regular runners, the number swells to twenty-six when we have a need.”

“Don’t forget sentry duty.” Gavin said from his place, his arm thrown over his eyes. Michael nodded at his friend then back to Jeremy.

“yeah, runners split between sentry duty and Running. Really Rays more sentry then runner these days but that’s because he’s got a steady eye. Hope you enjoyed today because tomorrow we’ll probably be out again. Mornings start pretty early here.”

“Micool, boi, he can get the low down from Rye tomorrow. Let’s hit the sack eh?” Gavin complained, kicking Michael and yelping when he got punched in the thigh in return.

“I’m just being fucking nice, asshole! Shut the fuck up if you’re tired and go to sleep. I don’t have to sleep whenever you do retard.”

“Actually, sleep sounds like a good idea.” Ryan said to them then turned his head to project to the whole Barracks.

“Lights out, five minutes!” there were some good-natured grumbling but for the most part, people started closing books, saying good night and pulling the sheets hung on ropes around beds. Jeremy smiled to hear it, and put his clothes on the bottom of his bed. Michael pointed to the lamp lit between their beds as he stood up.

“You good to turn that off?” he asked and Jeremy gave him a thumbs up.

“Thanks. Shove over shit head.” The insult directed at Gavin as the curtains closed between them. Jeremy kicked off his shoes, tucking his socks in with a mental note to ask for fresh the next day. His bed mattress was surprisingly comfortable, but there was no pillow so he bundled up the top sheet, it being too hot to sleep under blankets.

He pulled his shirt off then heard a throat clear from the opposite side of his bed from where he heard Gavin and Michael whispering together. Ryan was standing there, head poked through the curtains, the light from the lamp highlighting his jaw line.

“Sorry, just wanted to say that uh, I sleep this side of you. And if you need the bathroom, it’s pretty easy to find, just walk out the front, hang a left around the barracks and walk until you hit wall. Once there turn left and you’ll see the latrine.”

“Thanks Ryan.”

“No problem. Have a deep sleep huh?” And with that he was gone. Jeremy looked back at the curtain in front of him, giving a sigh. He threw his shirt at the end of the bed and picked up the lamp, figuring out how to turn the gas to kill the light inside. As the place grew darker he knew why Ryan had wished, ‘deep sleep’ and not ‘sweet dreams’.

There were no sweet dreams anymore.

 

What felt like five minutes later but was mostly likely a few hours, Jeremy stirred when he heard gun shots. He sat bolt upright, someone having already lit a lamp and he could hear people talking softly. Ryan’s voice he recognised and Gavin’s but there was a third he didn’t and he didn’t hear Michael at all.

“Surely they would hit the sirens if it was big.”

“Nothing we can’t take care of Gav I’m sure.”

“If they hit the sirens for a small group, they’d just attract more.”

“ I know that Adam thank you, I’m not a bloody idiot.”

“Could have fooled me Gav.”

“Quiet both of you, I think there’s less shots now.”

Everyone hushed and Jeremy from behind his curtain decided he didn’t want to be left out of the conversation. He swung his legs over the bed and opened the sheet hanging between him and the hall. Ryan was standing there, as topless as he was, with fully dressed Gavin and the big dude with the deep red beard was sitting at the end of the bed across from Jeremy’s. He noticed Jeremy first giving a small wave from where his hands were clasped between his knees.

Ryan saw and turned to see Jeremy now standing at the end of his bed.

“Hey, noise woke you?”

“Yeah, gunshots tend to do that.”

“Not for everyone.” Ryan chuckled, nodding down the line where they could hear soft snores coming from some of the beds, others sleeping more silently, but still out to it. Jeremy glanced at Gavin bed to see Michael was gone.

“Adam.” The big guy said pointing to himself.

“Jeremy.” Jeremy replied and Ryan nodded at the door interrupting the introductions.

“Small group approaching the gate. Twenty or thirty I’d say from the sound of it. No one takes a shot unless they think they can get head.” Ryan explained to Jeremy who nodded, his own hands clenched by his side nervously. They stood in silence for a time. Gavin rocking side to side, his face set in grim lines that look like they weren’t natural to him, Ryan with his arms crossed, watching the door and Adam seated on his bed staring at the floor.

After a long moment with the guns falling quiet, the three relaxed and Jeremy followed suit.

“I hate this. I sodding hate this.” Gavin said quietly, shaking his head and breathing out hard, “This is toss this world is. Fucking zombies? Are you having a laugh? Rather an alien invasion then zombies.” He blew out a breath again then waved a dismissing hand, turning back to his bed and pulling the sheets. They heard him fall onto the mattress and Jeremy started when Ryan put a hand on his shoulder.

“Just been a shitty start here for you hasn’t it?” he said with a sad smile then a sigh, “Better get back to sleep, if you can. Our days are early and go long.”

“Nice to meet you bunk friend.” Adam said from his spot and Jeremy forced a one sided grin and a wave for Adam. He pulled his own curtains and laid on his bed, listening to the murmuring of Ryan and Adam and a snuffling from the bed beside him.

Yes it sucked listening to the undead trying to break in, but Jeremy comforted himself with the fact that this time, he had people with him to stomach through the noise. Maybe Gavin had been here too long but it was actually a blessing to know that as he tried to sleep, there were people out there, working to keep him safe. Despite the attack, Jeremy felt better than he had originally to go back to sleep. It was good to be in a settlement once again.


	3. First Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeremy goes off for his first mission

They weren’t kidding, Jeremy starting awake as was his habit the moment someone touched his shoulder. Michael put up his hands and took a step back as he grinned.

“Easy new guy, I promise I’m not a zombie.”

“could have fooled me, you look like shit.” Jeremy grumbled, Michael grinning wider and laughing.

“Right back at you asshole. Not a morning person I take it?” He asked and Jeremy shook his head, resting his head back on his arm with a soft groan.

“There’s not even sunlight yet.”

“Yeah there is, though granted, it’s barely risen. Still, Ryan wants you to meet him by the main gates. You can find your way there right?” Jeremy nodded and Michael put a foot on his side and shoved.

“Hey get up, I want to sleep and I can’t until I make sure you’ve fucked off.”

Jeremy groaned again but sat up, rubbing his eyes and stretching, Michael throwing himself on an empty bed, Gavin nowhere to be seen. Jeremy raised a brow and Michael caught it, gesturing to the empty space.

“Gav said you woke for the attack last night. I went out to join the sentries, I can’t stand sitting here just listening you know? Couldn’t sleep after so Gavin’s taken my morning shift.”

“You can trade jobs?”

“Yeah, so long as whoever it is as good as yourself. Geoff doesn’t give a shit who’s on the walls so long as they’re manned you know?”

Jeremy bid Michael a good sleep. Re closing the divide so he could see if the new outfit fit. The shorts fit, hanging past his knees when they were meant to be thigh but the waist line was snug enough. The shirt was a little tight around his shoulders but covered his midriff which was all that truly mattered.

He opened his bed space, holding his dirty clothes and wondering what to do with them. Luckily Adam was up, making his own bed, another proud owner of a pillow. He saw Jeremys bundle and grinned.

“Morning Jeremy. Dirty clothes?”

“Shades of yeah.”

“I hear you. Never thought I’d miss laundry powder. Anyway, if you don’t mind sharing clothes with similar shaped people, there’s a commune laundry by the river exit. You’ll have to take a turn going out to scrub, but they’ll add you to the roster.”

Jeremy thanked him and made to leave only to stop when Adam called his name.

“I’m actually running out from that exit today. I can take the clothes for you?” He offered and Jeremy felt a warmth of team work spread through him. Kindness for kindness sake was rare in their world and so he thanked Adam warmly before he left.

Ryan was by the gate, just standing around, the sunlight not breaching the walls but setting everything a copper gold. Including Ryan’s hair. Jeremy tugged his thoughts from that peering around. He recognised some people by sight but didn’t think he’d been introduced yet. He feared he was last to arrive since Ryan had around five people around him, seemingly waiting but then he heard a shout and a young man was running towards the group.

“Sorry! Sorry I’m late!” He yelled, waving an arm and coming to a thudding walk beside Jeremy. He smiled at Jeremy and thrust out a hand.

“I’m miles. Please don’t make the-“

“Miles can run for Miles!” one of the men standing with Ryan called, Miles sighing and shutting his eyes for a moment before nodding, “That, joke…” He let go of Jeremys hand and turned back as they joined the group, “Always funny Kyle, not beating a dead horse at all.”

“If it ain’t broke.” The man called Kyle grinned, his beard trimmed well, the cause the knife he wore at his hip. He had his arms crossed casually and nodded to Jeremy. Ryan cut off the introductions before they could start.

“Everyone, this is Jeremy. He’s with me today so find your own running buddies. Miles, Kyle, you are absolutely not running together today if you’re going to fuck about.”

“Come on Rye-bread, you know we keep it inside the walls.” Miles said and everyone chuckled. The air was one of relaxed friendship and ease. Jeremy didn’t feel to excluded, everyone making a point to smile at him as Ryan rolled the meeting along.

“So we have a few tasks today, one of which is the thankless clearing the front of the base. Any volunteers?”

Two people put hands up.

“Thanks guys. You’re joined by two of the sentries but they’re sorting themselves out.” He pointed up at the tower where presumably the sentries are working out who goes down today.

“Bet their drawing straws again.” A woman murmured to miles next to Jeremy. Miles nodded and rolled his eyes.

“Can’t get their precious hands dirty.”

“Ok, that’s enough of that.” Ryan said half-heartedly, “Runners eight and twelve. You cool with going by Funhaus?”

Miles and Kyle nodded, so Jeremy assumed they were the runners named.

“Geoff wants to know if they have any .44 ammo since were out. We can trade them more water or a few of the rifle parts we found.”

Miles saluted to the titter of the gathered runners.

“eleven and two, that leaves you as distraction runners for the laundry run.”

“No problem boss.”

“Jeremy?” Jeremy focused on Ryan who smiled at him.

“You and I are doing a supply poke at the city today. With the horde near the crash, it Free’s up a few of the stores.”

Jeremy nodded, “Sounds like fun, daddy needs a new pair of shoes or well, socks…” The group laughed and Jeremy felt an acceptance from these hardened people, the ones who used humour to hide the fact there was a chance they would die today. Miles clapped his shoulder and raised a brow at Kyle who had shifted to be closer to his partner runner.

“I like the little dude.”

“Hey!” Jeremy cried putting as much accent into the word as he could and winking at Miles to show he didn’t really mind. Ryan laughed with everyone else then made a shooing motion.

“Alright, you know what you’re doing. Go get what you need and get running.”

Everyone disbursed, some mumbling goodbyes to Jeremy, miles giving him finger guns as he and Kyle went over towards the radio shack. Ryan stepped closer, gesturing to Jeremys clothes.

“Glad to see they fit.”

“So am I. Didn’t fancy a run in my underwear.” Jeremy joked only for Ryan to one up him with a cheeky grin.

“You still wear underwear?” he laughed at Jeremys face, the man having gone as bright as the sun starting to peep over the walls, “Come on, we need to mic up and gear up.”

Jeremy followed Ryan towards the radio, Kyle and Miles exiting with headsets on, waving to them before they ran for the gate. Jeremy watched them, the gates opening so both the runners could start out and also let out a group of six, the two volunteer runners within the group.

“Morning Joel.” Ryan said as they entered, Jeremy behind him, looking around curiously. It was humid in there and Joel had made himself comfortable, sitting in only shorts, spinning in an office chair. In front of him was a desk with various screens upon it, only one running right now, sound waves Jeremy didn’t understand. Joel himself had a mic in front of him and speakers on either side. There was a switch board too where a bottle of water stood on it.

It looked like a OCD nightmare, wires and cables crisscrossing everywhere and Jeremy could hear the rumble of the generator. Against the side wall was lockers where Ryan went, pulling out some ear plugs and two little boxes that looked like they attached to hip.

“Morning Haywood. New guy.” Joel nodded to both of them, his arms behind his head, leaning back in his chair. Jeremy couldn’t help the admiring glance he had to give, Joel being a very attractive guy. To his mortification, Joel’s eyes sparked and he grinned wide.

“Oh shit. Sorry dude, I didn’t even think about it. Guess I won’t have bigot problems from _you_ will I” Joel said suggestively, stretching a little further to show off the line of his body as Jeremy wondered if he could combust from embarrassment alone. Ryan looked between them confused for a moment before he put two and two together.

“ _Oh…_ Wow Joel, you know your taken, right?”

“Can I help all the young guys want me?”

“I do _not_ want you.” Jeremy said firmly and jowl grinned putting hand to his heart and upturning his bottom lip.

“You wound me new guy. Right here.” He tapped his chest over his heart and grinned as Ryan brushed by Jeremy, pressing Jeremy stuff into his hands.

“Come on Jeremy, leave him to sweat in here. We’re city run third wave Joel, talk to you soon.”

Joel laughed and waved them out turning to his equipment.

“My own private sauna. Your all good let me know when you’re on the way out.”

“Can do.” They left and Ryan stopped them in front of the place to show Jeremy how to hook himself up, through under his shirt so nothing got snagged. As he did so he leaned in close, not looking at Jeremys face.

“So, is Joel right? You’re gay?” He asked softly, his tone not impolite, just curious. Jeremy flushed again, clearing his throat and looking away.

“I thought you said it didn’t matter.”

“It doesn’t. I’m just curious. You could say my Gaydar is on the fritz and especially in this day and age, we should stick together.” Jeremy looked to Ryan sharply, his words sinking in.

“But, you, I thought…”

“It doesn’t matter, right?” Ryan looked him in the eye and winked, giving him a devil may care grin that went straight to Jeremy head. Then Ryan stepped back and motioned at the box at his hip.

“Two settings, transceiver and transmitter combo. Flick it this way, your receiving. Flick it that way, your transmitting. Hold the button down while your receiving and you’ll be able to talk back. Not as cool as the head set you arrived with where we were basically on the phone the whole time, but it gets the job done. Plus, the ear pieces are easier to deal with when running.”

Ryan showed him how to use his equipment then they were heading towards the front gate. People were still outside and the sentries on high alert. Jeremy could see Ray up above, just a flash of purple and a surprising pink Rifle. Ryan followed his gaze up and snorted.

“Personal weapons are rare, we normally share. Ray however, is the best shot in the whole township so any ammo for his pink lady go straight to him.” Ryan walked into the lower story of the tower, weapons lockers and a selection of melee weapons were all about. Ryan went straight to a locker and opened it, turning to show Jeremy his find.

“This baby is all mine. Unless you’ve asked or it’s the only weapon in reach with a zombie on your ass, please don’t touch him.”

“Him?”

“Sir slices.” Ryan said fondly, attaching the sheath of a pretty nasty looking machete to his hip. Ryan waved a hand at the melee weapons.

“Take your pick. Guns and personal weapons are in storage. If it’s out here, your pretty good to go.”

Jeremy settled on another bat and Ryan opened another trunk to pull out back packs. He handed one to Jeremy who had a quick looking, noting it was a large camping back pack with a bottle of water already tied to the side. Besides the water, it was empty so he put it on his back and adjusted the straps. He picked up the bat set to carry it but Ryan showed him how to attach it to the side of the bag. When in danger he should be able to reach back and just pull it free, the flip side being they’d need to stop before he could attach it again.

“Alright, that’s sitting pretty. You ready to go?” Ryan asked, throwing on his own pack and looking to Jeremy who gave him thumbs up and a nod. Ryan nodded back and they started to walk out of the tower then the gates.

“OI! SIX AND SEVEN!” they stopped within the gate confines, Jeremy a little more nervous to be standing under the metal monstrosity but Ryan causal as he looked back into the compound. Geoff waved at them, jogging up and stopping before them.

“Ryan, we need some fuel too. If you could, swing by the fuel station and see if it’s been taped yet.”

“Geoff! That’s near Funhaus territory, why didn’t you get Twelve and eight to do it? Or better yet, tell me before I’ve designated jobs?”

Geoff frowned and shrugged, uncaring of Ryan’s irritation.

“Because I didn’t think of it until the idiots had already left. Now you two idiots better get going, your burning daylight.” Ryan groaned at that and turned away Geoff stopping them once more to speak to Jeremy.

“New kid,” Jeremy was getting real tired of that but looked once more at Geoff with an open expression, “Take care of yourself and Rye guy here huh? I trust you more then I trust him to get you guys back safe this afternoon.”

Ryan scoffed and flipped Geoff the finger which he returned with a happy grin. Jeremy wondered what sort of mess he got himself into when Geoff said goodbye and they could finally cross no man’s land. They passed the clean-up crew, using shovels to break apart bodies then carry the pieces away. Ryan saw Jeremy watching as they entered the trench.

“They’ll be dumped downstream from us; the water takes them quite the distance. We used to burn them, but we realised that was a waste of fuel. We can’t keep them here and so river it is. Luckily the camp that used to be down stream of us isn’t there anymore, so we’re not bugging anyone.”

They made their way through the defences, waving back as the clean-up crew called goodbyes.

“How many people are there around this place?” Jeremy asked as they started towards the city at a nice walk, warming their muscles up and breathing the fresh morning air before they got into reeking decomposing streets.

“Less than there used to be, but that’s true anywhere I guess. This township is the second biggest. Around sixtyish of us I think you were told that?” Jeremy nodded and Ryan continued, “Then there’s Funhaus camp, that’s where miles and Kyle are up too. They have just under thirty there. Macklemore is huge, near five hundred souls as far as we can tell.”

Jeremy whistled, a smile coming unbidden to his face.

“Wow, I never supposed there would be that many survivors.” He said happily and Ryan smiled at him but spoke gruffly.

“Don’t get too happy about it. Remember, Macklemore are dicks and we need to avoid their runners as much as possible. They run more like a military dictatorship over there and are not happy Geoff refused to pack up shop and join them. Course, your welcome to go join them if you want, Geoff would never prevent anyone from leaving if they wanted too.”

Jeremy shrugged himself, grabbing onto the straps of his bag with his hands and giving Ryan a quick shy grin.

“Oh, I think I’ll hang out with you guys for a while. With games gone, the closet thing I’ve seen to entertainment are you guys.” He was pleased at the smile he got in return, Ryan chuckling. It was true, these people seemed all rough around the edges but who wasn’t these days. He was beginning to see however, was that they had an unbeatable spirit around them.

Don’t let the zombie outbreak ruin your fun kinda thing.

“Well, early days but you seem to be fitting in. helped if you spoke up more though.” Ryan noted and Jeremy sighed.

“I know. I got this bad habit of when I’m around noise, I just kinda internalise everything. Then when I’m alone that’s when I talk. Normally with no filter-“

“Fuck!” Ryan swore and hit his forehead before putting a hand to his hip, turning on his transmitter. Jeremy did the same just as Ryan spoke.

“So, ah, hey my man Heyman…We kinda…Yeah, we’ve already left.”

“ _One Job Haywood. Check in with me so I can write all this useless shit down and keep track of who died when.”_

“People say I’m morbid.”

“ _You have a murder diary.”_

“Hey! That’s my personal business. So anyway, Runner six and seven official reporting we’ve skedaddled.”

_“Heyman, official writing down moron Six and Seven have skedaddled. Got it.”_

“Check in later, leaving Transceiver open.”

“ _Got ya. Hey! If you see and Cheetos…”_

“We’ll hook you up. Don’t worry.” Ryan assured him then he looked to Jeremy guiltily.

“Don’t follow my example. Geoff fucked me at the gate. We’re meant to report in when we leave and touch base every now and again, just let them know we’re alive. We leave transceiver open so they can call us anytime. If we don’t reply, well, then someone gets your stuff.”

Jeremy nodded seriously to this, the city coming up fast as the sun was rising.

“How long until my stuff gets auctioned?”

“About a week. That’s the longest someone has been stuck out here and returned unbitten. Transceiver got smashed in a run and had to hide out in a top floor building. Took that long to makeshift a ladder out of there.”

Jeremy shuddered and shook his head.

“Fuck that. I’d just be dead. I hate heights.” Ryan snorted and looked down at Jeremy who looked back up at him.

“Lucky we’re in a zombie apocalypse then because for the most part, we’ll just be running. Speaking of, I need you to stay on my ass, got it?” Jeremy flushed at the wording but nodded determinedly. Ryan only looked happier and tilted his head at him.

“Did you know you turn the nicest colour? You’re like an open book there Little Jeremy.” Then with a wink, Ryan broke into a jog, breaching the first of the city streets. Jeremy followed behind, grumbling and turning a deeper red at the teasing.

They were pretty lucky in their morning, sparse zombies easily outrun and a store that had a few cans left in it that were now in Jeremys backpack. The slight noise they made was unnerving, but everything little thing counted.

“Oh my god. A vending machine.” Ryan gasped and ran to the over turned thing. He pulled out his machete and set to work on the locked door as Jeremy looked about. As he kept watch, Ryan grunting as he tried to pop it open, he asked Ryan his question.

“Is soda really high up on the shopping list?”

“Not really. But everyone could do with a bit of sugar, we’re all turning skeletal, and I don’t know about you, but I could go with a nice drink.” Ryan panted as he spoke then with a sharp noise that made them both flinch, he opened the machine and made a noise that was near sexual.

“sweet, sweet drink, come to papa.” He murmured and Jeremy looked to see Ryan picking up a can of diet coke, putting one in his back and popping the other right here. He took a long drink of it, smacking his lips and looking to the can with the most genuine look of happiness.

“You weren’t kidding about the coke yesterday were you?” Jeremy said deadpan and Ryan shook his head. As he spoke, he gestured with a hand at the selection and threw Jeremys choice at him.

“Nope. I get them when I can. A year or two and they’ll be scarce. But even warm and slightly shaken it’s better than nothing.” He finished the can he had and grabbed another, tossing the empty one away, “If we have a shitty haul, we’ll come back by here and fill up on whatever space we have left. I find little treats like these keep people going even when food is low.”

He shut the vending door and placed a plant on it. He looked at the placement with a smile, replying to the raised brow Jeremy gave him.

“So long as no Zomb comes and knocks it down, I’ll know where it is. Hopefully, if we have a full haul then no other runner will come by here either. Our little secret unless we need the treat right Jeremy?”

“That’s fine with me dude.” Jeremy agreed quickly, already feeling the caffeine and sugar from his own drink give him a boost. Ryan saw and cocked his head.

“Let’s burn up some of this energy huh? I’d love to make it home with time to spare before sundown.” They were off again, running and grinning like idiots, the thrill of soft drink in their veins. Jeremy snuck many a long look at Ryan, who was making this run feel like it was less a sire and dangerous job and more a fun thing to do when the power was out.

He liked to play games, when they saw a zombie, he’d slow and pick up something from around them, throwing it as far from them as they could. He’d bet Jeremy nothing that this zombie or that zombie might trip or run into something or miss them all together. Only when the undead started to come towards them, Ignoreing any sounds Ryan made behind them, would they run again.

He also paused a lot to raid pockets of corpses he saw and then Sir slice would come out, Ryan severing heads whenever he could. Jeremy asked him why and Ryan turned serious for a moment.

“As far as we can tell, you need to be bitten while still alive to turn. Truth be told however, I don’t trust a corpse with its head attached. To be honest, I don’t trust them without one either but so far, no head, no reanimation.”

“I saw a zombie once, looked three times over dead, had only a few bits of skin and nerves attaching the head. Still walked about until the last little bit was cut.” Jeremy confided and shuddered. They had fallen back into their walk, staying side by side and gazing about, covering a wide circle around them.

“severing is the way to go, but really any brain shot will do. Only rarely do they keep coming if you get them fair in the noggin. Second bullet always puts them down though.”

“Double tap technique,” Jeremy said wisely, Ryan laughing.

“I saw that movie too. The rules actually are quite useful. Good cardio indeed.”

They came up towards the store Ryan knew about, only a couple of zombie’s through the parking lot. Since the area around them was clear, Ryan stopped them and nodded at the zombie’s.

“What do you think? They’re few and long dead by the looks of it. We can either put them down or we can sneak by. What are you comfortable with?” Ryan asked, looking down on Jeremy then around, continuingly watching their own backs. Jeremy considered then reached back to pull his bat out.

“I’ll take out the knee’s then you take the heads? There’s only three. So long as there’s not twenty of the assholes inside, I’d feel better just knowing they won’t surprise us.” Ryan agreed and pulled his own weapon.

“Just my kinda guy.” He praised, then flicked his transmitter.

“You alive Heyman?”

_“Are you?”_

“for now. Might not be in a few moments. Need you to stand by, Lil’J” he looked to see if the name was ok with Jeremy who nodded quickly as Ryan finished his sentence, “And I are about to go toe to toe with some zombs. Looks simple but you know how these things turn.”

He realised what he’d said and sighed heavily, closing his eyes briefly.

“No pun intended.”

“ _But pun landed anyway. Ok, I’ll be checking for survivors in five, that too short a time?”_

 _“_ Should be fine, there’s only three for now. Hopefully I’ll hear from you soon.”

“ _Be careful Ryan. Take care of new kid.”_

 _“_ Always Joel.”

Ryan looked to Jeremy who suddenly wasn’t feeling so good about this plan. They had kept it upbeat and joking toned for the most part, but that last exchange made Jeremy remember how quickly shit could go wrong.

“Still want to do this?” Ryan asked, seeing the look on Jeremy face. Jeremy hardened his features and nodded.

“Sure do. It’s safer in the long run right? Three less to worry about in a world full of them.”

Ryan put a hand on Jeremy shoulder, giving it a quick squeeze.

“We’ll be fine. I do this all the time. Take the knee’s and I’ll take the heads. Simple.”

And it was. The first zombie spotted them and started their groaning shuffle, arms reaching and mouth opening. Jeremy stepped up to the plate and hit kneecap with the wooden bat, cartilage splintering and the zombies groan sounding almost comically surprised as it went down. Ryan came up and dodged grasping hands, the groans ceasing when the metal slashed.

Jeremy hadn’t waited, the second and third zombies coming to investigate their comrade. He took out another’s legs then had to aim for head before knees for the second, jumping out of the way of the first downed zombie’s reach. Ryan came and cleaned up and they were done just as Joel radioed

“ _Haywood you answer me?”_

“You have been spending too much time with that boyfriend of yours Joel.”

“ _Not enough Rye-bread, you got to assign me some off-time man.”_ Ray answered for his boyfriend. Ryan sighed and rolled his eyes at Jeremy, pointing with his bloodied weapon at a few cars parked around. They sometimes had food in them as people had dropped groceries and ran.

“Give me another sniper as good as you are and I’ll consider it. Also, how bad would you two feel if we had been killed and your last words were that god damn pun.”

_“Haywood you blow me?”_

_“Ray!... that’s my job don’t offer it to other people…”_

_“Sorry hey-hey, you know I’m kidding.”_

“Joel was hitting on Jeremy.” Ryan dobbed in, Jeremy himself having been listening with a small smile whirling about from the car he’d been investigating to look at Ryan in horror.

“ _You did what?!”_

_“I didn’t do anything!”_

“Woah, hey! I do not want to be dragged into that mess!” Jeremy cried and Ray was on the line.

“ _What mess? Who says were a mess? Joel! What have you been saying?!”_

_“Dam it Ryan!”_

“Hey, Heyman…Haywood you stop with the puns?”

“ _Fine.”_

Ryan grinned at Jeremy and winked, cleaning off his weapon on the back seat of the car.

“You are an evil, evil man. Did you just split them up?! Over a dumb joke?” Jeremy demanded and Ryan waved a hand at him, moving on to the next car and breaking a window to unlock it.

“No, no. It’s a little game they play. Joel is big time jealous of anyone near his precious little boyfriend so Ray likes to pretend to be the same. Not that Ray won’t kill you in your sleep if you legitimately try to bang his guy, just he knows any jokes are just jokes.”

“Right…” Jeremy said slowly. Apparently, the schedule and job distribution where not the only things he needed to learn about Achievement township. The people were going to be a challenge in and of themselves.

“Jackpot!” Ryan cried so Jeremy hurried over. Dry noodle packets with flavouring, bags of flour unbroken, and even a packet of chips that Ryan immediately popped and handed over to Jeremy for a mouthful. Jeremy took a handful then as they ate, they split the good between them. Watching Ryan salivate over chips and wash it happily down with a diet coke, Jeremy couldn’t help but think, the people might be worth getting to know.

 

“What do you think happened to church?”

“I don’t know. But this guy seems oblivious. No idea why he was on that chopper and not church but we’ll see. He might be able to help the project in another way.”

“Runner Six seems pretty attached to him.”

“Ryan doesn’t get attached. That’s why he’s lead runner. He watched Emily get bit one day, her Zomb corpse head kicked in the next then today he’s off skipping around with this new guy.”

“Still, maybe we’ll wait and see?”

“Ryan Runs. It’s what he does. But sure, if your nervous then we’ll wait. Can’t do shit anyway.”

“……I fucking hate you…”

“Kisses."

"I will hit you."

"Maw, maw- OW!"


	4. shopping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shopping just isn't what it used to be when your trying to beat the crowd

Shopping after zombies have destroyed the world was very different with Ryan then it was alone. When he was alone, he had to run in, snatch what he wanted and run out. All the while his head was rotating like a god damn owls, heart thumping and sweat pouring and he longed to run back to his safe haven. Even if it was empty of anyone else.

Ryan strolled in, his machete in hand but casual. He hit the lights and sighed when they didn’t work. He pulled from his pack two head set torches that he helped Jeremy put on one then did his own. Light now shone wherever they looked. Ryan walked over to a trolley and pulled it out from the rest then lifted his feet, after he pushed it along.

“Wee” he said quietly, his voice still hushed but a smile on his face. Jeremy gave a scoffing laugh then grabbed his own trolley doing the same, the two playing for a moment, dancing the trolleys around each other but careful not to crash. They were having fun but they weren’t idiots. Sounds attract the Horde and that they wouldn’t do.

Ryan stopped first, skidding to a halt and pushing the trolley aside to wave to Jeremy.

“Come on, we better get looking. This is a food run but we’ll go by the medicine aisle just in case.”

Jeremy put his trolley aside as well and walked just behind Ryan, looking around and ears open for signs of undead life. They avoided the meats and veg sections, though the smell wasn’t bad anymore, the food having rotted past a stink. Ryan picked up a bag of Cheeto’s for Joel to give to Ray giving Jeremy a wink.

“They hardly go out, Joel is always in the radio and Ray is mostly on the wall these days.” Jeremy nodded, not minding so long as he didn’t have to carry anything useless himself, “What about you? What treat can you never pass up?”

“Me? Nothing really. Everything I loved was either had a heart beat or needed electricity. If you can get a working computer, or console that would be awesome.” Jeremy told him, looking back down the aisle as his mind supplied him with phantom sounds he was trying to distinguish from reality.

“Gamer huh? Same here. Used to love to play in my spare time. Ever play dead by daylight?”

“Only every day of my life these days.” Jeremy joked and Ryan laughed.

“True, true.” They got to the long-life aisle and both of them sucked in a breath at the sight of long life milk still in date on the shelves. They grabbed some and without having to talk, they grabbed enough to make a large pot of mac and cheese, grabbing the packets of pasta to go with it. Long life milk was a rarity even more so then the soft drink. They weren’t passing it up.

“Look at this place! We’re going to have to come back tomorrow with a group and load up.” Ryan breathed, the isle barely touched. Jeremy was packing his bag with rice bags as he asked Ryan.

“Why haven’t you guys been here?”

“The horde likes to hang out here most days. Near fifty or sixty of them. With the crash, we knew they’d have moved.”

There was a sound in the dark, a scuff and both men froze. Jeremy carefully and slowly zipped his bag, putting it back on his back, the food precious. Ryan took a few soft steps forward, breathing carefully, machete in hand. Jeremy loosened his bat and they heard another step.

“Friendly! Friendly!” A man cried out when Ryan took a step out of the aisle and half swung his machete. Luckily, he stopped it before he cleaved flesh taking a step back and gave a frustrated grunt.

“Damn it james! You scared the fuck out of us.” Ryan cursed and a slender man with wide shoulders and a wider grin put his arms down from their defensive position. He had a back pack on and on his hip, was a gun holster. He didn’t have a light like they did however so he was squinting in the bright.

“You scared the fuck out of me! I thought you might have been Macklemore disk stains.” James looked over Ryan as he spoke and raised a hand to clock the light to squint at Jeremy who was moving forward.

“Your taking kids out now Haywood?”

“Oh, come on, I’m not _that_ short.” Jeremy complained and james took in his whole body and his eyes widened as his hands came up again.

“Yeah, no your right. No kid has shoulders like those. What you do? Bench press zombies to death?”

The guy had a cheeky charm, Jeremy had to give them that but Ryan was talking again even as James and Jeremy were grinning at each other.

“Your one to talk. How old is that Spoole kid?”

“Spoole is an adult thank you very much. And I’m not out here with Spoole, I’m out with Peake. He’s checking the medicine section. Hey, you guys got any cold and flu? It’s running through our camp at the moment and we are running low.”

Ryan and james started haggling over the medicines and Jeremy looked back down the aisle to make sure nothing was attracted to their talk. Soon he saw a figure in the dark and was about to raise alarm when it made a very human gesture, lifting a hand and deliberately waving it side to side.

“This your friend?” Jeremy interrupted, both the other men falling quiet and turning to look. Yet another of the apocalypse walked into the lights of the headsets. Ryan sighed and gave a wave.

“How you doing Peake.” He said in greeting and a man near as short as Jeremy gave a thumbs up. The mountain looking man with his beard as impressive as Jacks or Adams, looked to Jeremy and his hands came up slicking away.

“This is, actually I don’t know who this is Peake.” James said in response, Jeremy surprised to learn Peake was signing.

“Guy’s this is Jeremy. Holy fuck I just realized I never got your last name.”

“Dooley.” Jeremy supplied helpfully then glared as James reared his head back slightly and raised a brow.

“Seriously?”

“What?”

“Nothing man, good name JDoolz.”

Peake snapped a finger to get James attention then signed rapidly his friend and Ryan both chuckling.

“Peake wants James to stop picking on you.” Ryan explained so Jeremy smiled at the mute guy.

“Thanks man.”

“So, as you probably figured out, that idiot is James, James Willems and the quiet one is the ever-wise Matt Peake, but he’s cool with just being called Peake. They’re from Funhaus Camp. Our friendly neighbours.”

“Nice to meet you neighbourino.” James flicked a salute and Peake moved a bit closer giving a shy pat on Jeremy arm.

“Nice to meet you guys too.” Jeremy said, meaning it. So many nice people when he thought the world had been emptied.

“Ok, so sorry to break this up but we better move on. I’ll take your deal to Jack and see what they want. Expect runners tomorrow.”

“Any chance for a night run? We’ll throw in an extra batch of veg for the added danger? Just Elyse is sick and her cough sounds really bad Ryan, please?” James joking attitude dropped for a moment and Ryan clapped his shoulder sympathetically.

“We’ll see. I can’t make any guarantee’s but we’ll consider it. If we do send a night run, they’ll be staying overnight with you.”

“Fine with us. You good to go Peake?” Peake gave a thumbs up and a passing smile to Jeremy then Ryan as he moved up beside James. They said goodbye then they were off, heading out into the daylight.

“You meet the nicest people when you go up town.” Ryan grinned at Jeremy then activated the Radio.

“Joel, stop getting some and listen to this.”

_“Rays gone to lunch jackass. And your jealous.”_

“Just bumped into some Funhaus here. They have a deal for us. Medicine in exchange for food and ammo.”

“ _I’ll give the boss man a head up.”_

“Don’t call him boss Heyman, you know it goes straight to his head.”

_“Whatever head runner.”_

“Fuck you.”

_“Fuck you!”_

“we’re almost done here and going to turn back but- “

Ryan stopped talking when they heard gun shots then James and Peake were running back in the door.

“Hordes coming home early!” James shouted, and Jeremy watched the colour drain from Ryan’s face.

“ _Joel, were in some fucked trouble, the hordes back and I’m going to have to call you back later.”_

“Stay safe guys! Fucking call me when you’re ok!”

Funhaus met them and Jeremy saw the first dead walk through the busted door. James grabbed his elbow and turned him heading to the back. Peake and Ryan stayed close, James using Jeremy like a torch light as he spoke rapidly.

“They’re all over the goddam fucking carpark, the whole fucking family is back! Fuck! I thought they’d be gone for at least the day!”

“Why the fuck do they keep coming back here?!” Ryan asked of no one, knowing the answer wasn’t with any of the four runners. For some reason, Zombies liked to hang out in the places survivors needed the most. Major shops or hospitals. Anywhere survivors needed to go in for supplies. Like they fucking knew they’re dinner would be desperate enough eventually to go back to those places.

“come on, there should be like a loading dock or something, right? How the fuck do we get out there?” James swore, they were running along the back wall now, stuck like rats in a trap. Peake surged forward leading the way without a word and they trusted in the man who seemed to know where he was going.

He lead them to the deli, sliding over the counter and behind, the other three following. Jeremy was right behind Peake so when he opened a door and the Zombie that had been trapped behind it grabbed him, it only got a mouthful of Bat as Jeremy jammed it over Peake’s shoulder.

The zombie reeled back and James shoved Jeremy aside, bringing his gun up and popping brain, turning to Peake before the body had even hit the floor.

“Peake! Matt! Are you ok? Did it bite you?” He asked urgently, Ryan stepping by to sever the head as James checked his running partner. Matt was breathing hard and shaking but shook his head, allowing the pat down James did, reassuring himself that Peake was fine even though they had all seen the attack. Even Ryan looked back after kicking the head away.

“He bit?” He asked, his voice darker and thicker than Jeremy had heard yet. James must have thought so too, spinning so he was facing Ryan between Peake and Jeremys runner partner.

“No. He’s fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“ _Are you fucking sure?!”_ Ryan hissed, moving close again, near blinding james with his light, his machete raised.

“Ryan! I hit the guy before he could, you both saw that right?” Jeremy felt the need to speak up, the tension intense with Ryan’s raised bloody blade and James still fingering his gun. As they faced off, the sounds of the horde spilling into the shop became loader until Peake moved the solid james aside and extended his arms, showing Ryan the unbroken skin.

“Ok. Sorry Peake. You know I have to be sure.” He apologized to the mute then his eyes flicked up to james, “Friends don’t always report bites.”

James face hardened and Jeremy thought it was time they moved on, the never-ending groan getting closer.

“OK, he’s not bit, everyone’s fine, can we have this conversation later? Those customers sound pissed alright?” He tried the joke to lighten the mood and though no one laughed, everyone did relax just that slightest amount. Peake signed and Ryan gestured with his blade that Peake could pass.

“Lead the way.” He said and Peake went forward again, Ryan directly behind him this time. Now Jeremy was bringing up the rear and they moved a little slower, more aware for zombies that may be trapped in this back area.

“I hate jump scares.” James said mildly as he and Jeremy jogged close together. Jeremy scoffed and nodded in time with his foot falls.

“You and me both.”

“Thanks for backing us up.”

“No problem. He wasn’t bit so he wasn’t bit you know? No need to threaten the healthy guy.”

“Just watch yourself with Ryan alright? If you ever do… Just be careful ok?”

Jeremy wanted to ask what james met but the small distance closed and they were with Ryan and Peake by a roller door. James shot the lock off then he and Ryan stood ready while Peake and Jeremy heaved the heavy door up. It after a short protest and there were only a few zombies scattered about.

“See you guys later?” Ryan said to james who nodded.

“Yep. See you around Haywood. Jeremy? Thanks for the save man.”

To Jeremys surprise he got a hug from both guys, Peake’s a little tighter then James before they were jumping down off the loading dock and running past the shambling dead who swung for them but didn’t connect. Some started after the living humans but others noticed Ryan and Jeremy.

“Ok, we’re going to run by these guys to that alley there. From there we’ll head north a bit then connect back with the route that brought us here back. Fuck Geoff’s fuel, let’s go home huh?”

“Sounds like a fucking plan. Ryan?”

“Hmm?”

“Can we grab a pillow for me on the way back?”

Ryan laughed and nodded.

“Sure, I know a good place open to a street.”

Then they jumped and were off into the afternoon light.

 

Ryan checked in with Joel while Jeremy grabbed his pillow from a bed store that had been smashed open in the riots long ago. Jeremy had the fluffy thing under hand as they ran back to the township, slowing to a walk once they had some distance between the city and themselves.

“So, Ryan?”

“What’s up?”

“What was with the stand-off there?” Jeremy asked curious and Ryan sighed. Their bags were heavy and made noise as they walked which was comforting out here in on the road in a way it normally wasn’t in the city.

“You said you were alone right? Well I wasn’t. I wasn’t alone when everything happened. A…A girl got bit. Must have been thirteen, maybe fourteen? Her parents didn’t say a fucking word and well, after that, I was alone.” Jeremy could only imagine what had happened. He had been with a turner too, who hadn’t at this point? But not an unreported one.

“I’ll be running to Funhaus myself. We need to know if they do have a flu or if it’s an unreported bite. You know the signs, right?” Jeremy knew he wasn’t asking about the signs of a flu.

“Yeah. Saw someone go myself. We knew it was happening however and we had a gun so we let him go while he said his goodbyes. First theirs fatigue then there’s a cough. Then it’s rattling breath and the cough worsens as they weaken…”

“James said Elyse’s cough sounded bad. Elyse is his wife.” Ryan said slowly with the same dark tone as before. Jeremy could follow the line of thought, his heart squeezing in sympathy.

“What will you do if you find she’s been infected?” He had to ask, had to know. Instead of answering, Ryan instead said something that surprised Jeremy but in hind sight, he realised it shouldn’t have.

“I gave Emily the choice. Run or I could fix it then and there. She wanted to run. Sir slices isn’t as appealing as a gun. I’ll say it now that I’ll offer you the same choice if it happens to you. If it’s early enough we can try getting to the township and a bullet.”

“Ryan…”

“I want the same treatment, you hear me? If you could, if you see I’m bit and you’re sure, try to get me before I can think too hard about it?” Ryan asked and Jeremy said nothing, unable to make that promise straight away. Ryan stopped them in the middle of the road, a hand on Jeremy chest. They faced each other and Ryan put his hands-on Jeremys shoulders, his blue eyes intense.

“You ended Emily quickly and well. Please Jeremy, do the same for me. Just knock me out then do it ok?”

“God Ryan you’re asking me to beat your brains out!” Jeremy cried, trying to move back but Ryan’s hands were vices.

“Only if I’m bit. Jeremy, I need to know you will. I need to know the person I run with can make that choice.” He didn’t let up his eyes demanding and his deep voice hypnotic as he mouthed the horror of their reality.

“Fuck Rye… this is my first fucking day! Fuck me…Yes…I’ll- I’ll do it.” Jeremy forced the words out, not knowing if it were true, not knowing if he could bring his bat to bear on the golden head of his friend. He did know he’d try however. Surviving tended to take the thought part out of it, just reacting.

“Thank you.” Ryan smiled at him sadly and Jeremy heated when Ryan put a hand to his cheek and pressed lips to his brow. Before Jeremy could think past his shock, Ryan pointed down the road.

“Let’s run huh? We might catch a cold lunch and since we’re bringing the mac and cheese, we get double serve!” Ryan pranced away leaving Jeremy to collect himself and his scattered thoughts and break into a run behind him.

The sight of the gates rising was something Jeremy thought he would love to get used to. Hearing the greetings of the sentries and seeing that piece of thick metal rise before them and close behind, a guarantee of at least warning before he had to run was something that helped sooth a tense part of him.

His day didn’t get better as when they entered, Miles ran up, Geoff and jack had heads together as they walked the same way Miles had run.

“Ryan! Hey- “

“Where’s Kyle?!” Ryan asked immediately, his eyes scanning the area and sounding more panicked then he had at any point during their run. The clash was confusing to Jeremy but he needed to pay attention, miles holding up hands to calm Ryan.

“He’s fine! He’s fine. He’s in mess, we didn’t have any problems with zombs. I just wanted to give you the heads up that there are a few nasty coughs at Funhaus. We didn’t go in, we talked to Adam over the wall. He want’s medicine.” Ryan sighed out in relief and nodded.

“We know, we bumped into James and Peake.” He explained but miles shook his head, his boyish face grim as he ran a hand over his hair.

“No dude. Like those coughs sounded _bad._ Like we might have a horde for neighbours soon bad.”

“Fuck.” Ryan breathed then Jack and Geoff were there looking grim. Geoff put it together and motioned at Miles.

“Mind taking their weapons and cleaning them kid?”

“I’m not a kid Geoff. And sure.” Miles said defensively then held out his hand for the weapons. Jeremy handed his over easily but Ryan hesitated.

“You know where slices lives right?”

“I know Ryan, everyone here knows.” Miles rolled his eyes and got the machete in its sheath. He also took Jeremys pillow with a promise to drop it in his barracks. Once he was gone, Geoff motioned them both closer.

“Ok, you met with Funhaus Joel says and the report I got from the kiddies did not sound good. Think it’s really a flu?” Geoff wasted no time getting into it. Jeremy didn’t feel like it was his place to speak even though he had been included leaving Ryan to describe the meeting.

“He got super defensive when Peake was attacked however, put himself between us. I think it’s possible if Elyse got bit, James wouldn’t say a word.” Ryan concluded, the two other leaders nodding seriously. Jeremy couldn’t keep quiet, unsure what decision these hard men would make if they thought there was infected in their ally camp but throwing up a different point of few.

“He could have been between you because Peake _didn’t_ get bit. You didn’t seem like you were willing to wait and see for yourself Ryan. He could have been defensive only because he knew Peake was clean.”

“Kids got a point.” Geoff said after a pause and Jeremy frowned.

“I’m mid-twenties dude.”

“Relax, he calls anyone younger then him kid…and Joel too come to think of it.” Jack said then sighed shrugging, “I think I go with Ryan, we take the supplies and I check it out. We’ll bring guns just in case.”

“I’ll go too.” Jeremy volunteered quickly, getting sharp looks from all three.

“You said it yourself Jeremy, it’s your first day.” Ryan pointed out and Jeremy shrugged.

“Exactly. By the sounds of it, these guys are friends of yours. Having someone who isn’t attached might be what you all need. I know my way around a gun and…Close quarters I won’t miss…”

They took a moment to let that sink in then Ryan looked to Geoff and nodded. Geoff sighed and rubbed the back of his neck.

“If you’re sure then fine. You can go. If you’re all going to make it before night fall with a fall stomach, you better get those supplies to Caiti.”

They broke up their impromptu meeting and dumped their supplies at what Ryan called the distribution centre, a large barn that had been altered. Caiti was there with some of her people assigned to her and when the runners presented her everything for mac and cheese she squealed and threw her arms around their necks in hugs.

Jeremy was unused to all the touching but he had to say, it was nice.

He got another hug when he tagged along behind Ryan to present Joel with his prize. When Joel enfolded him in long strong arms the man breathed into his neck.

“Glad you’re not dead new guy.” He whispered then he was throwing himself back into his seat and crinkled the packet without opening it. Like magic, Ray burst in between Ryan and Jeremy and sat on Joel’s lap, snagging the packet from Joel’s fingers.

“thanks guy!” he said to the runners opening them up as Joel complained.

“Hey! That’s my gift to you, don’t thank them.”

“They’re the ones who got ‘em”

“But I have you.” Joel rumbled and threw his arms around Rays waist. Ryan quickly said goodbye and lead Jeremy out.

“Bail, quick before they get to kissing.” He warned and Jeremy laughed.

“Please, it’s nice to see happy people around Rye. I haven’t had so many touches and hugs and fucking _laughs_ in ages.” Jeremy confided. Ryan turned into Jeremys path and his eye’s sparkled cheekily.

“you like hugs then?” He asked and Jeremy gulped, Ryan having gotten much closer into his personal space.

“Uh, yeah… I mean, there all right, uh you know, who doesn’t like a, ah hug?” he stammered, Ryan very close his head leaning over his.

“that’s great… Because Gavin’s a cuddler and I got places to be.” Ryan shoved Jeremys chest back and Gavin’s arms came around him as Ryan walked off laughing.

“LITTLE JAY!!” Shouted Gavin right in Jeremys ear as the man laughed and turned to face the brit, a little disappointed but not willing to inspect why. Gavin let go and bounced back to Michaels side who was chortling at Gavin’s antics.

“We heard you scored us mac and cheese man. Caiti’s cooking it up now, wanna go bug her with us?” Michael offered and Jeremy cast a look over to where Ryan had disappeared into the camp before he nodded.

“Sounds great.” He said, and it did. Friends were nice to make and he wanted to be friends with these guys. Maybe have a laugh and forget for an hour about the run he had volunteered for this afternoon. Idiot.


	5. House of Fun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time for the run to Funhaus encampment. Jeremy makes a choice

It was late afternoon when Jack found Jeremy in the Mess with Michael, Gavin and Ray. Caiti had cooked the mac and cheese and they were delayed further when she forced a bowl on her husband, not allowing him to leave until he had some. Ryan had ducked in earlier but only long enough to empty a bowl then he was off again. Jeremy told Caiti that this was the best meal he’d had in a long time, something the other guy backed up happily until Caiti looked at them with hurt on her face.

“You saying my regular cooking sucks?”

“What! No! no, no Caiti!” The three tried to back pedal hard but soon Caiti was laughing and elbowing Jeremy.

“These guys are so easy to stir up.” She confided as everyone grinned.

It had been nice, a touch of normalcy that was more filling to Jeremys soul then the mac and cheese to his stomach. Thought the mac and cheese was very good too. Joking around with guys his own age, Jeremy could pretend for a moment that the world hadn’t turned into a nightmare outside. Something that perhaps his fellows understood because when Jack handed back his bowl to his wife, the mood turned from light and fun to sombre like someone had flipped a switch.

“Come on Jeremy. We got to get those supplies to Funhaus.”

“I’ll come with you.” Michael said grim faced and jumping off the table where he had been sitting beside Ray.

“Micool no!” Gavin cried and stepped forward to wrap his arms around Michaels neck, the man putting a hand on the brits back and patting, Ray also getting to his feet to look to Jack.

“If you need more volunteers, I’ll go.” He said calmly jack shaking his head.

“If Michael wants to come, then that’s fine but Ray your skill is in Running and sniping. We can’t risk you on what might be a blast mission.” Jack explained carefully, Gavin trilling in his unusual way, some sort of objection, leaning his head around Michael to glare at jack.

“Wot? Ray’s too valuable but your happy to risk my boi? What about Jeremy? Does he know what a blast mission is?” Jeremy started to be included in Gavin concern, but he couldn’t let Gavin think he was going in this blind.

“I’m assuming from context it’s a mission where we Blast some zombs?” He asked and Ray clicked his tongue and pointed a finger at Jeremy.

“Got it in one Dude. We like to run mostly to conserve all Ammo for the Base but sometimes you have to take a gun or two, especially if you know you might run into a horde you can’t avoid.”

Caiti moved up to hug into Jacks side, looking into his face.

“You don’t really think Funhaus would harbour a bitten, do you?’ she asked softly and jack sighed, running a hand over her cheek.

“I just know I wouldn’t be able to bare locking you out of the Base. If james feels the same way for his wife, then it’s entirely possible.”

They all reflected on that, it not being a rare occurrence for someone to hide a bite. But they always turned in the end and you had to finish them anyway or turn yourself.

“If we’re doing this thing then we better go.” Michael said firmly and unhooked the objecting Gavin from around himself. Jack gave Caiti a kiss and she watched them go with worried eyes. Gavin and Ray followed them out, passing others who were coming in to enjoy the rarity of a cheesy dinner.

“JACK! JACK!” Jeremy spotted Ryan by the gate, in his hands a shotgun but the call hadn’t come from him. It had come from a younger boy, a teen who ran towards them and stopped before Jack.

“Terry, fell, off, wall…We think, he’s broken, his leg...” the kid panted and Jack swore harshly.

“Go report to Ryan, I’ll either be there in a minute or fucking send a runner.” Jack said urgently already moving away with the kid to tend to whoever this terry person is.

“Fucking kids man.” Michael said with a shake of his head, Jeremy noticing how Gavin stuck to Michaels side, they’re hands brushing and occasionally catching, Michael squeezing the brits before he let go again. Jeremy wondered if they were more than the ‘bro’s’ that he’d been told, but now wasn’t the time for curiosity.

“What are you guys doing here?” Ryan asked of the Lads as they got closer, putting the shotgun behind his neck. At his waist, he had a transmitter, sir slices and a pouch. Jeremy glanced at it then back to Ryan’s face, finding the man was looking to him as Ray answered the question.

“Seeing the parade off man. Plus, Michael wanted to go for a stroll with you guys.”

Ryan looked away from Jeremy to Michael, his mouth a grim line.

“You sure?” He only asked once, at Michaels nod, he cocked a thumb at the tower with their weapons.

“Give Lil’J here a weapon?”

Gavin gave Michael another hug, murmuring something to him then he gave Jeremy a sad smile and started back towards the mess.

“I better go with him. Thanks a lot asshole, he’s going to be a nightmare until you get back.” Ray addressed Michael who gave him the finger with a chuckle then the two clapped hands together like brothers would, “Stay safe guys and do come back would you? It would be boring as fuck without you guys here.” He said to all three and then he was off himself.

Michael and Jeremy left Ryan to get weapons, the newest runner thinking he could feel Ryan’s gaze at his back but not game enough to look around. They went into the tower and Michael showed Jeremy the difference between a personal weapon locker and the community ones.

“You only get a personal locker if you prove your skilled enough to reserve the weapon and its ammo for you. Ryan for example. What’s the point of giving him a machete only for him to die with it on the road if he wasn’t good enough to use it?”

Jeremy was given an old Rifle that had seen better days. He did impress Michael by knowing how to pull apart the rifle to check it and immediately after the check, Michael grabbed that one off him and gave him a better one straight off the bat. This one wasn’t in the best condition either but it was better than the first so Jeremy thanked him.

“No problem dude. If you know your way around Guns, then you get the better ones. I literally just fucking said that, didn’t I?” Michael grabbed himself a shotgun and onto his waist he connected a pouch that he put some spare ammo in. He also mulled over a side arm for a moment before leaving it. At Jeremys raised brow he tapped his fingers on his gun stock and pitched his voice low so not to carry through the open door.

“We only need these in case all of Funhaus are already gone. I think what Ryan and Jack are hoping is to get Jack in to see Elyse. If she’s bit, we deal with it. If she’s not, he inspects the others. If no one is bit, all good we do the trade and come the fuck home.”

“Michael, they have weapons there too right? What happens when they don’t take happily to putting one of their people down?” Jeremy asked and Michael paused as he had been heading to the door. He sighed and dropped his head for a moment before he turned around to look at Jeremy, his boyish face serious and hard.

“This is another test for you New guy but one you can back out of right now. You ever shot a turner?”

_“Please Jeremy! No! It’s just a scratch!”_

_“I’m so fucking sorry. You’re not coming in.”_

_“Jeremy please!”_

_“Fuck, just go.”_

_“Jeremy! LET ME IN!”_

_They had tried to break in to the apartment, their cough was harsh as they pulled at the bracing around the door. Jeremy had no choice, he begged for him to leave, he pleaded with him to go and then he opened the door wide. The gunshot echoed for days and Jeremy was alone._

“I have.” Was the only answer he gave. Michael seemed to see that Jeremy knew what it was like, had the same haunted look on his own face. The look you get when the Turner hadn’t been a stranger.

“Who was it for you?”

“An old friend. More like a brother to me.”

“My wife.” Michael said simply then he was walking out the door.

 

Kerry came instead of Jack. A back pack on his back full of the medicines to trade and he carried no weapon. Jeremy and Michael wore empty packs to carry home anything they get either from Funhaus or scavenged on the road. Ryan wore none, having a shotgun on his back, his machete on his hip and another rifle in his hand. He was protection for this run.

Kerry as Jacks apprentice could do whatever Jack could for the sick at Funhaus and it didn’t take a medic to identify a bite. Jack was needed here to bind the leg of a boy, everyone praying it was a fracture or less. A broken leg would take too long to heal, especially without a cast and mobility was the survivor’s motto these days.

The four were all hooked up for radio contact and Geoff came to see them off. No funny jibes this time, just a serious and weathered man looking upon four people who were risking a lot for their neighbours. The sun was setting and they only had two headlamps between them.

“Good luck. I hope it’s only a flu.” He said as the gates opened.

“NIGHT RUNNERS LEAVING!” A sentry bellowed above, the process a little different as it grew darker, no one wanting to accidently shoot a human.

“Keep in contact with Adam. If it’s safe too, stay at Funhaus overnight.”

“We will Geoff. Have a good night huh?” Ryan said shaking his hand then trapping Geoff’s hand between his own, stepping slightly closer. Jeremy always had good hearing and he felt like the zombie apocalypse only sharpened it. He didn’t think he was meant to hear what Ryan had said.

“Promise me you’ll stay away from the bottle tonight?”

“No promises if you go radio silent.”

Jeremy turned to look at Kerry who was bouncing from foot to foot, sweat beading his forehead. He looked decidedly nervous and so Jeremy shifted closer, blocking out the hushed conversation behind him.

“You ok?” He asked and Kerry flinched a little then laughed at himself nodding.

“Fine, fine. I’m not much of a runner is all. I’m more of a steady sprinter?” Michael also moved over, his gun in hand which he tapped against his palm.

“It’s ok Kerry, we got your back, right Lil’J?”

“right.”

“We’ll fucking blast any zombs that come near, don’t worry.”

Kerry snorted and shook his head after giving them thankful smiles.

“Sure, sure. ‘Don’t worry Kerry, we’re only doing a night run towards a possibly infected zone. Totally nothing to worry about.’” Michael and Jeremy both grinned and Michael stepped by to pat Kerry’s shoulders.

“Exactly, see? You got it.”

“Ok my kiddies, time to go.” Ryan said, coming in behind them and herding them out. They didn’t run, just walked out and the thump of the gate behind them sounded ominous to Jeremys ears as Ryan reported them leaving to Adam who was manning the radio for this special night run.

“Kerry! Kerry, sorry I’m late!” They paused in no man’s land to look back, Miles was at the gate, waving at his friend.

“They didn’t tell me you were going till you were out!” Miles called and Kerry waved back.

“I’ll see you in the morning buddy!”

“I’ll hold you to that!”

“Ah, young love.” Ryan teased by stage whispering to Jeremy. Kerry turned and dared to smack Ryan’s upper arm.

“Shut up, we’re just friends.” He said and they started off again. Jeremy thought there was a lot of ‘just friends’ going around in this camp.

“What was that?” Ryan asked Jeremy curiously and the shorter man flushed when he understood he had spoken allowed again.

“You two have the head light’s. Stop making goo-goo eyes at each other and get in front!” Michael spoke harshly gesturing for the two to take the lead. There was still Daylight but it was fading fast. Ryan and Michael made it clear they both didn’t think they’d make it to Funhaus before dark.

Ryan and Jeremy walked side by side, Michael and Kerry close behind. For a time, there was only the sounds of breathing and the soft noise of medicine in Kerry’s bag. Jeremy couldn’t stand it for too long, here he was with people and no one was talking. It didn’t seem right.

“What’s not right?” Ryan asked him and Jeremy cursed his bad habit.

“Sorry, just thinking allowed again.”

“What the fuck does that mean?” Michael asked but there was no heat in it. Ryan saved Jeremy the trouble of answering himself.

“Jeremy here was alone for a while. You make some habits when you’re by yourself.” Ryan said in an understanding tone. Kerry moved a little closer so he could look to Jeremy.

“You were by yourself in this? For how long?”

“Too long,” Jeremy said over his shoulder then looked forward, hoping that would be the end of it.

“Kerry, what did you do before you were Jacks apprentice?” Ryan asked and Jeremy shot him a grateful look for changing the subject. Ryan winked at him as Kerry launched into his tale.

Kerry and Miles had been in the same animators class as Kyle. When the infection had broken out, they had been at school. During the chaos, they had been separated from Kyle. Like most people, they went home to their families. Unlike everyone else, they decided to do it together. It had been lucky they did because Miles family were turned and only Kerry pulling him away and into a car had saved them.

“My family were gone. Just gone. No idea where they went or if they had been looking for me. Mum used to write notes on the fridge, and all it said was ‘Kerry, we love you, stay safe’” Kerry’s voice dropped away and they walked in silence for a little while before he sighed, “We found achievement Township pretty early on and imagine the surprise we had when Kyle turned up just a few months later?!” Kerry laughed, his voice brightening again.

Jeremy smiled and looked back to Kerry accidentally blinding him.

“Woops, sorry. Just that’s a nice ending to your story. Nice as they can get these days anyway.”

“His story isn’t ended yet.” Ryan said sounding a little dark. Jeremy didn’t know what he meant but Michael cleared it up, instantly understanding.

“I hope my story doesn’t end tonight.” He murmured and on that sinister note, Ryan raised a hand and pointed out a silhouette upon a hill, the sun having set during the walk and the story.

“There it is. The funniest of Hauses.” Ryan said for Jeremys benefit then hit his transmitter to report to Adam as Jeremy looked over the ally base. Their walls weren’t as tall or as stout but they had a deep trench around the entire place and when they got close enough, Jeremy could see they were a fall trap into spikes. There was a roll of barbed wire lining the opposite side of the trench and the only way in to the area was a draw bridge that acted as their gate.

As the approached, someone called from standing just behind the wall, taller than a human should be able to stand, Jeremy assuming some sort of platform.

“If you ain’t zombs still wearing your torches, better speak up now!” The voice called and Jeremy saw the shadow of a gun being raised.

“Runners Three, six and seven from achievement township! We brought medicine and as a bonus a medic! So don’t point a gun at me Bruce, I don’t like it!” Ryan called back, their group coming to stand across from the bridge.

“Medicine? Hey guys! Achievement came through!” Bruce called over his shoulder to the camp then waved a hand at them, gesturing a welcome as the bridge started to lower. Their group exchanged looks, everything seeming ok, Bruce seemed alive and not sick at least. Then they heard from further away a hoarse echoing cough that sent chills down spines.

The bridge hit the ground and they crossed quickly, Jeremy and Michael holding their weapons tight and Ryan having a hand on his hilt. Inside the Gate was better lit, one of the people there holding a lantern.

“Adam, Joel.” Ryan greeted the two, the one holding the lantern tall and lean, the other-

“Holy moly, I’ve been cloned.” Said Jeremys double, the two men looking very similar, The Funhaus guy taller and Jeremys shoulders broader but they had the same shaped face and their beards had been trimmed into similar styles, Jeremys slightly more wild at the moment since he lost his precious razor in the crash that brought him here.

“Fuck you can say that again Adam.” The lantern holder said then turned his head to cough into a fist. The runners and their medic took a step back at that and Adam moved forward raising his hands.

“Hey! I know what you’re thinking ok? Coughs are always a bit of a sensitive point these days. But we all talked and have agreed you can inspect every one of us head to toe. Joel here really does just have a flu, I swear.” As Adam spoke, Joel edged behind him and Bruce came down from a platform mounted just behind the wall, stairs leading to the ground.

Ryan’s eyes were fixed on Joel, his hand white knuckling around the machete hilt. Kerry stepped between Ryan and Adam, something Jeremy thought was brave from the little guy.

“We came here to trade and treat these guys. They said they’ll agree to an inspection, so how about we have a look and just put this fear to bed now huh? Guys? Fella’s?”

Ryan nodded tightly then flicked his head at Michael, the lad coming forward.

“Here’s what’s going to happen if you want the medicine. Michael and I are going to go through your camp, we are rounding up everyone with a cough. We shall do this, not you. If we find someone trying to hide or run, we will gun them down.” Adam opened his mouth to object, face turning angry but Michael raised his gun and after a moment Jeremy did the same. He didn’t know what he’d do if Ryan or Michael gunned down an innocent but so far Ryan’s demands have been fair.

“You can tell your people to cooperate, we can have no misunderstandings. You have somewhere Kerry can inspect people in private?” Adam had coloured in anger but the guns kept him quiet, his jaw locked tight and nodding sharply once, “Good. Kerry will inspect your people one by one starting with the sick. But even the healthy need to submit. Jeremy will be with him and if we see a bite, he will shoot, won’t you Jeremy?”

Jeremy saw Funhaus look to him and he cursed Ryan putting him on the spot like this. However, it was true that if he saw a bite, he could carry through with what had to be done. So he nodded once, seeing the faces of these men turn their anger on him.

“Can do.”

“You understand why we have to do it this way right? In return, we will gift half the supplies for free for complying with our demands here.” Ryan took the attention back and Adam sighed out a hard breath.

“I want someone in with the Doc and his guard dog.”

“Not anyone related to the sick.”

“Peake.”

“Done.”

Ryan and Adam shook hands but it didn’t look friendly in anyway. In fact, Jeremy was a tad worried one or the other was going to break a finger. Then they let go and Adam huffed as he turned around to face Joel and the small crowd that had gathered during the meeting.

“Ok guys, if you’ve been feeling under the weather, head to Bunk one. If your healthy then Bunk two! Bruce, Spoole, Dan, stay on the walls and patrol, you guys are last. Just spread the word please and no one do anything stupid like hide or run ok? It’s just a little inspection by the Doc then we get the medicine we need.”

“Thanks Kovic.”

“Go fuck yourself Haywood. You didn’t have to threaten my people.” Adam spat but he turned away to organise his people. Jeremy thought he saw a flash of remorse on Ryan’s face but it was gone too quick to tell and Kerry was pulling at his arm. Ryan noticed Jeremy staying still and he gave a smile of reassurance that didn’t reach his eyes. Jeremy gave a weak one back to show he wasn’t harbouring any bad feelings towards the man then he followed Kerry to what must be bunk one.

Funhaus bunks were smaller, the remains of sheds repurposed as sleeping spaces. They had no beds only mattresses and blankets lining the sides. Joel saw them in and came in first, placing the lantern down and started to pull his shirt off over his head.

“May as well get the sexiest out of the way first right?” He asked with a cough and a laugh. Jeremy flushed at how easily this Joel found it to strip and wondered if it was a condition all Joel’s shared. Kerry made it quick, no bites anywhere on Joel’s body then after Joel had dressed again, Kerry pulled out a stethoscope and some other medical equipment Jeremy saw as familiar but didn’t know the names too.

So quickly did Kerry make his inspection, Joel was leaving with instructions to rest up and try not to exert himself as Peake was entering. He signed something to the two and Joel translated.

“He said hi to both of you and wanted to pass on Adams question. He was wondering if they could move the sick into bunk three out of the night air and just send them as you need them?”

“That sounds great to me. Personally, I prefer it but when Ryan talks you shut up you know?” Kerry said kindly and Joel gave another coughing chuckle.

“Yeah I hear you. Adams the same. Peake, you cool here without a translator?” Peake nodded and signed to Joel, gesturing at Jeremy who felt nervous to be singled out. Joel looked to him and smiled.

“So, you’re the one who saved Peake today huh? Thanks for that. I know the guys a little chatty, but we love him anyway.”

Peake sighed the first noise Jeremy had heard from him and Joel bounced out with a smile. Peake came over and submitted to the full body check, Kerry cleaning off a scratch the man had on his back with the items he had carried here, putting a bandage over it. He looked to Jeremy and shook his head.

“Not a bite, but you’ve sliced yourself nasty here Peake. Do you guys have a medic?” Peake pulled his shirt back on and put out his hand flat and shaking it.

“Sort of?” Kerry guessed and Peake nodded.

“Can you get them?” Kerry asked and Peake nodded then gestured between himself and Jeremy.

“Sure, Jeremy can go with you I guess. That ok Lil’J?” Jeremy moved closer to Kerry, turning so Peake couldn’t read his lips, his assumption being that Peake was deaf and knowing that the deaf could read words just by the shapes of lips.

“What if you get a turner?”

“Well I’ll scream my bitch ass off and Ryan or Michael will take care of it. I may not be runner material but I can sprint for a door. Anyway, I don’t think we have to worry. By the look of Joel, we are dealing with an infection but not the zombie kind.”

Peake waited patiently until Jeremy straightened and cocked his head at the door. They left together and Peake directed them to a bunk where Jeremy could hear a few people coughing and wheezing with sickness. Another sick walked towards Kerry’s area as they went inside. Adam was just inside the door, arms folded and his gaze became harder when he saw Jeremy and his gun.

Then it softened again as Peake gestured rapidly, Adam now looking less stern and more thoughtful.

“So, you’re the new guy huh? And you stopped Haywood from making Peake into someone that could take your title as the shortest guy around. Nice to meet you. I’m Adam.” He thrust out a hand and Jeremy took it.

“Yeah I heard. Were here for your medic? I think Kerry wants to play doctor with yours.”

Adam sighed sadly and looked down the line of sick, people sitting or lying about in various degrees of illness, from people like Joel with a bit of a cough if they breath too deep, to at the end where a woman was laying, piled up with blankets and pillows behind her to bring her into a half laying half seated position, Jeremy seeing James kneeling by the woman’s side, his face tender and in his hands a bottle of water.

“I don’t think our medic is up to helping yours. Elyse got hit hardest.” Adam murmured and Jeremys breath caught. Peake had sent one of the less dire sick over to the bunk Kerry was in as Jeremy followed Adam down to Elyse. James looked up, first focusing on the gun, his face drawing in anger then seeing who held it.

“Hey jump scare.” He greeted Jeremy, his heart not in the joke, already looking at the woman who was breathing rattled, her blonde hair soaked in sweat and her face sunken. Jeremy remembered seeing someone like this before. Just before they lunged for his face.

His fingers tightened on his gun automatically and he forced himself to ask.

“Please tell me straight. Has she been bitten?” He asked the concerned men around the bed. James looked back up, his cheerful face drawn into a look of near despair and his eyes welling with tears. His voice trembled with feeling.

“I swear. She’s not infected. She never goes out, she doesn’t run. She _cares_ for people. Please Jeremy. Please believe me.” As he spoke his hand closed around her weak one and her eyes flickered open, trying to focus.

“James?” she asked hoarsely and he was looking back to her, wiping her forehead and offering the bottle.

“I’m her baby girl, I’m right here.”

Jeremy looked to Adam who was near tears himself.

“Is there a way to close this section off?” Jeremy asked firmly, the question surprising to the Funhaus leader.

Ryan came over when he saw Jeremy herding Kerry towards the sick bunk, the one by one inspection having halted as the medic shifted into the main sick area. People were moving, bringing water in and fresh towels. Ryan grabbed Jeremys shoulder as Kerry went in with Peake spinning the man around.

“What are you doing?” He demanded the answer from the short man who had arrived only yesterday and already proven himself capable many times over.

“I’m helping these people Ryan.”

“Are you crazy?! What if one of them is bit? What if they turn on Kerry while he’s in the crowd of them? I ordered the one by one for a fucking reason kid!” Ryan pressed a finger to Jeremys chest as he lectured, his hand being smacked away by an angry hand.

“I’m not letting people die of a lung infection because you’re too cautious.”

“Hey! I’m in charge here and your bleeding heart is going to get us killed!”

“Why would they hide a bite at this point? You can see as well as I do that they need that medicine and they need it now. Not in an hour or three after every single person has stripped down.”

Ryan grabbed Jeremys collar with both hands yanking him close.

“Who the fuck do you think you are to usurp my orders?”

“I’m the guy who figures the zombies are killing us quick enough without us helping them along.”

Jeremys sense of danger flared as Ryan Growled in his face, his eyes hard and his fists tight, Jeremy being held on his tiptoes by the strength of the man’s arms. With a snarl Ryan finally broke and threw Jeremy away from himself, Jeremy taking a few hard-stumbling steps before he caught his balance. He looked up to see Ryan glaring at him.

“If you ever disobey my orders again, I will fucking behead you. Know that.” Ryan threatened with a finger and Jeremy had no doubt he was telling the truth. Ryan’s glance flickered to behind Jeremy then he stomped away, joining Michael who had stepped out a of a different building, watching the two carefully.

“You may want to move in with us after this man.” Adam said from behind Jeremy who had watched Ryan until the pair disappeared behind a building. Jeremy sighed wondering how he could have fucked up the slow friendship he had been building with the man before it had even really begun.

“Yeah, you may be right. Come on, let’s see how Kerry’s going.” They re-entered the bunk area to see sheets had been strung up to cut Elyse off from the rest. They stepped into the small space to see Kerry was finished inspecting her for bite’s, James face like thunder and Peaks arms seemed more confining then comforting around James torso.

“No bite.” Kerry told Jeremy, james snarling under his breath.

“Fucking told you so.”

“That’s one hell of a chest infection you have though love. Don’t worry though, I can hook you up.” Kerry winked at Elyse who chuckled weakly as Kerry pulled out something worth a week’s supply of food for the whole encampment and a whole case of ammo just for the small glass vial and the accompanying syringe.

“Antibiotics.” James breathed then he fell back to his knees by his wife, Kerry nodding slowly, giving Jeremy a nervous look then looked to Adam who was holding his breath. The young medic held life in his hands and they all knew it.

“Is she the worst case?” Kerry asked of Adam who nodded quickly. James didn’t seem like he trusted himself to speak, biting a lip and the hand that didn’t hold his wives was white with how hard he fisted it against his thigh. Peake looked at Jeremy who couldn’t read the mutes face but they both looked back to the medic.

“Please give Ryan a really good fucking deal. Jeremy is already in a shit tonne of trouble and I could be on the hanging block with him for this.”

“Anything.” Adam breathed and Peake nodding and james leaning forward.

“I will do anything, _fucking anything_ , just please, please give her the fucking medicine already. I will bend over right fucking now if you need me to, I’ll be your slave, anything I have or can get, I’ll give you-“

“James” Elyse croaked his name tears leaking from the corner of her eyes.

“I’ll kill for you, I’ll steal, I’ll suck you off, I’ll do anything, be anything-“

Kerry stopped his begging by carefully filling the syringe and gave Jeremy another nervous look.

“We’re going to be in so much fucking trouble for this.” Kerry told him. Jeremy looked to James who was openly weeping, his mouth set in a straight line as he stared at the treatment that could give his wife a fighting chance. Jeremy looked down to Elyse, a woman he had barely spoken too and she looked back up at him.

“Give her the medicine. It’s not like they can get it back once it’s in her right?”

The Funhaus men around them collectively breathed again as Kerry slid the needle into Elyse’s arm and Jeremy felt Adam put an arm around his shoulder.

“We can hide you here if they kick you out for this.” Adam assured him and Jeremy gave an extremely nervous laugh.

“Can you put my head back on once Ryan cuts it off?”

“He wouldn’t do that.” Adam soothed and Jeremy gave a disbelieving snort.

You’d think he’d wait until his second day before he defined a leader and got his ass killed but Jeremy was never one to do things by halves.

“It’s your first day? Rough man. But we don’t do things by halves here either.”

Jeremy couldn’t even bring himself to be irritated that he had spoken allowed once more. He was too terrified of what Ryan was going to say or do to him for distributing medicine that didn’t belong to him. Jeremy was the king of bad life choices.


	6. The problem

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeremy needs to find out what Ryans problem is

After Kerry, had been through every single member of Funhaus, all thirty-four of them, they were shown to beds. The four achievement Runners were tired and the night was late but it didn’t stop Ryan from cracking Jeremy square across the jaw the moment they were alone. Kerry yelled out his objection but Michael grabbed his arm.

Adam hadn’t fully left so he returned to watch as Ryan grabbed Jeremy and slammed him into the bunk room’s wall, pulling s machete and pointing it at Adams throat.

“Stay out of this Funhaus!” he spat his eyes furrowed as he looked back to the man he held around the throat.

“We’ll take him! No need to kill the guy!” Adam called and Michael shoved Kerry back and pulled out his shotgun lifting it to point at Adam.

“He said stay the fuck out of this Funhaus.” Michael said calmly, keeping Adam in place as Ryan turned back to Jeremy, sinking the machete over his shoulder by his head.

“I gave orders. Orders you changed. Then not _five minutes_ after I gave you a pass, I hear you and Kerry here took it upon yourself to just fucking _gift_ our precious antibiotics to a dead woman!”

Adam made another sound of protest but Michael put the shot gun barrel to Adams chest and he closed his mouth eyes worried and mouth a straight line as he looked between the tension that was Ryan and Jeremy. Kerry had his hands pressed to his mouth, looking horrified as Jeremy paid for his choice.

“I’d do it A-fucking-Gain haywood.” Jeremy choked out, defiantly. If Ryan was livid about saving a life, then he was not the man Jeremy had been thinking he was. Ryan searched his face for a long moment then pulled the machete free and sheathing it as he let go and moved back. Jeremy sucked in a free breath then cried out as Ryan hit him again, falling to a knee from the force of it.

“Don’t ever fucking cross me again Jeremy or a swear to fucking god I will not be responsible for my actions.” Ryan snarled then shoved his way out of the bunker and into the night. Michael lowered his gun to realise Adam who went over to Jeremy immediately with Kerry.

“You ok man?”

“I’m so fucking sorry Jeremy!”

Jeremy ignored them, brushing by them both to run out of the bunk after Ryan.

“You got a death wish kid?!” Adam called after him, but he was already gone.

“Ryan!” Jeremy called to the stiff figure heading towards the walls in the pitch black of the night. He stopped and turned putting a hand out.

“Jeremy, I am this close to just fucking killing you, so back the fuck off and go to bed. Now.”

“No! Dude what the fuck is your problem?!” Jeremy wanted to know what had crawled up Ryan’s ass. Surely, he couldn’t be murderously angry because they had attempted to save Elyse.

“What’s my problem? What’s my problem?! You are my fucking problem Jeremy!” Ryan turned around fully and in the dark Jeremy couldn’t see features just a shadow baring down on him.

“We are at the end of humanity here Jeremy! There are no more medicines being made! No more food being boxed, no more water being fucking bottled! Everything, EVERYTHING, is a fucking fast disappearing resource _including people_.” Ryan had grabbed Jeremys collar again but didn’t lift him or choke him, it was more of a grab to try and really anchor Jeremy to what he was saying, “You said you wanted to save these people. Well guess fucking what? Harden up because you got to make a choice here. Who do you want to live? By the end of the month we are going to lose at least two more people. It’s a matter of odds and statistics. We are _haemorrhaging_ people Jeremy. Think Emily was the only Runner seven before you? You’re the fourth buddy. The fucking Fourth.”

It was hard to tell in the dark but somewhere during Ryan’s speech, he stopped sounding angry and started sounding heartbroken, small sniffles coming with the breaths and Jeremy found himself reaching out to grab Ryan’s shoulders.

“I’m head runner because I am the only one, the only original number. We have fifteen regular runners Lil’J, you do the fucking math. I remember all their faces, all their names. I have to, because who else will? I could be the only one alive who remembers Justin, this sweet teen who thought he was ready to run. The only one who can recall Jess, who always paused to grab more hair dye, the shade of her red hair running before me in the dim…”

“Don’t tell me I don’t fucking care Jeremy, because I do. I fucking do. I just know we got to make fucking choices here. What if Elyse had been bitten huh? Then you’ve just lost us our fucking medic and an entire bag of medical supplies, _if_ we had been lucky enough to get out ourselves.”

They could hear coughing from where they stood, faces now inches apart so Ryan could fling his words at Jeremy in nothing above a whisper, “You let Kerry waste a whole lot of antibiotic on someone who’s probably not going to make it. Even if she does, you just chose one of these people over one of our own. What about that kid who just broke his leg? What if he needs that shot? You’ve killed him with your god damn sympathy.”

Ryan let go of his collar, his hand relaxing from its fist to spread out on Jeremy’s chest. Jeremy was horrified to hear Ryan’s breath catch and now he knew the man was crying for sure.

“I am _not_ a monster. I hate this. I _hate_ being like this. But I fucking have to Jeremy because it’s the only way to keep what few people I can alive. Keep _you_ alive. I don’t want there to be another runner seven again, and then I- I’m the only one, w-who remembers, bleeding heart j-Jeremy and his s-steel sp-sp-spine…” Ryan couldn’t finish, starting to sob, the words getting caught with the tears.

Ryan stiffened when Jeremy pulled him in for a hug then after a moment he told himself ‘fuck it’ and threw his own arms around his new friend, leaning down to burry face in neck and let go as he hadn’t since Emily, with her kind smile and tinkling laugh, had faced him and slowly showed the double crescent written in blood on her skin.

They were in the middle of an open zone, but the moon was dark and the encampment risked no light so they stood there in a dark bubble that made them both feel as if they were the only two left in the world. Jeremy cried himself, not the bone shuddering sobs Ryan was making but a cleansing soft leak of tears down his face as he rubbed the older man’s back and let him vent everything hard and bad into Jeremy’s shoulder.

They don’t know how long they stood there, but like all things, especially in a zombie apocalypse, eventually Ryan ran out of tears. Jeremy held him a time longer as Ryan hiccupped, his breath catching as he got control of himself once more. He slowly pulled his head away, staying hugged tight to Jeremy who grinned softly in the dark at him.

“Feel better?”

“No.” Ryan said quickly then gave a small huff of amusement and nodded, “Ok, yes I do but this doesn’t change the fact you’re in trouble for disobeying. If I can’t trust you to follow my orders, then maybe you should stay here.” They both knew that was not what either wanted. Something new and fragile had been born tonight between the two survivors and neither wished to walk away moments after.

“I don’t want to stay here…our shirtless Joel was slightly hotter than their shirtless Joel.” He joked and Ryan gave a hollow laugh.

“I dunno, I’ve seen both myself and it’s pretty damn even.” Ryan joked back then Jeremy’s own breath caught when Ryan pressed their cheeks together and whispered in his ear, “I’m more of a shoulders guy anyways.”

He moved back, this time disengaging the hug as Jeremy tried to gather his scattered brain.

“Let’s go to bed huh? Before everyone starts thinking I killed you and mounted your head on a pike or something.”

“…I don’t think that anyone would think you mounted my head.”

“why not? I’ve done it before?” Jeremy couldn’t tell if Ryan was joking or not but he followed him back to the bunker. So tired and rundown and wrapped up in emotional turmoil, neither noticed that Adam and James had been listening in, hurriedly grabbed weapons in their hands.

“Well, that took a different turn then I thought it would.” Adam whispered to James who’s thoughts where already with his wife.

“yeah I know. Our Joel is way hotter than their trained ape.”

“Not that you idiot, Hard heart Haywood crying? I feel weird man like the world just bad touched me.” Adam shuddered and james sighed.

“Look, it’s bad all around. If he’s not going to kill Jeremy, I want to get back to Elyse. Is that ok?” Adam nodded and james practically teleported back to his wife he moved so fast. Adam looked up at the stars and mulled over what Ryan had said and what he had witnessed. One thing they both agreed on was that at the end of the day, allied or not, it came down to one camp or the other.

Adam was set on protecting his own.

 

Michael wasn’t talking to Jeremy, maintaining a distance between them that made Jeremy’s heart sink. He was liking the curly haired man and felt a kinship with him after their brief but revealing conversation in the weapons tower. Michaels coldness was made up for by Kerry who had slept almost like a little puppy, curled his back against Jeremy’s.

It was reassuring to have someone sleep against your back.

It was more confusing to awaken, eyes blinking open to see the man directly across from you studying your face with intense blue eyes. Ryan said nothing however, holding Jeremys gaze for a moment before he started to get up, stretching and yawning like he hadn’t been watching Jeremy sleep.

“Michael.” Ryan said sharply and Michael looked up at him. By the looks of it, Michael hadn’t slept, having spent the night sitting up, Ryan’s riffle in his hands watching the door.

“Yes boss.” Michael said pointedly with a quick glare shot at Kerry and Jeremy. Ah, so that’s what the problem was. Michael followed orders and he was pissed Kerry and Jeremy had not.

“You’re to keep your mouth shut about what went down here.” Ryan said and got three sharp looks from the others, Michael’s face turning red, his mouth angry.

“What?! You want me to hide the fact these assholes can’t follow orders?”

“Yes. In fact, I’m ordering you.” Ryan said calmly, Michael gaping at him.

“Ryan! You- “

“everyone gets one. Jeremy gets the rearrangement of how we inspected. Kerry gets the shot. Don’t make me say what you got Michael Jones.” Michaels mouth shut with a snap and he almost swelled with his anger then suddenly deflated as he hissed out a breath. He nodded hard and looked at the gun in his hands.

“Fucking fine…”

With that, Ryan got up and started to hook on his radio het set, everyone slowly following suit. Ryan had slept around the bag of precious medical supplies but he handed the bag back to Kerry now they were up and re-armed.

“Kerry, you and I are going to negotiate with Funhaus about what we can get for these. No more freebies.”

“Yes Ryan. Understood.”

“Michael, you want to come?”

“Sure dude.”

Ryan’s look rested on Jeremy who wasn’t comfortable with the way Ryan’s eyes settled on him. Last night had been something that melted away with the morning apparently. The soft centre of the man was once again locked down, a hard shell of authority now coated Ryan once more and Jeremy didn’t know how to deal with the switching Ryan did between his caring self and his hard self.

“If it’s ok…I’d like to check in on Elyse?”

Ryan nodded and jerked his chin at Jeremys rifle.

“Keep that close just in case alright?” he said and Jeremy nodded, his firm grip on it. Kerry objected, looking between the two.

“I checked every inch of everyone here. Trust me, I have seen enough ass to last me a lifetime, and no one here has been bitten.” He said a little frantic, scared of the intensity in the armed men. Ryan made that weird switch again as Jeremy watched, smiling softly at Kerry and putting a hand on his shoulder.

“It’s ok. Seriously, I’m just being cautious is all.”

Jeremy left them, splitting off to head to bunk three, hearing Ryan check in with base as they walked to what could only be the Funhaus version of their own Radio control. People were out and about, starting their day and some nodded or voiced greetings to Jeremy. He came to Bunk three and found the sentry from last night coming out, his eye’s red rimmed.

“Oh no. What happened?” Jeremy called, horrified to see the tears welling and spilling over Bruce’s face as he gestured back into the bunk.

“See for yourself.” He voiced softly and Jeremy rushed by. The bunk was mostly empty except for a small ground gathered around the end mattress, Jeremy hearing the soft sobbing of James’s who was thrown over his wife’s torso. Jeremys heart stopped and he walked forward on numb legs.

“Good morning, little guy.” Elyse croaked when Jeremy came further around the curtains to see the flush of colour in her cheeks and the fact she had a hand on James back as he sobbed his relief into the blankets. Jeremy could breathe again, Bruce clapping a hand to his back and Peake who was standing with Joel and another slight boyish man in a red cap Jeremy hadn’t met, smiled at Jeremy and gestured to him.

“Peake say’s that, this makes two of us that you’ve saved in a twenty-four-hour period.” Bruce translated a smile in his voice. James looked up and saw who they were talking to and he leapt to his feet, throwing himself at the surprised runner, crushing him in a vice like hug.

“Oh Jump scare! You are a fucking god send! Anything you or that Kerry guy need, I am right fucking there! You say the word man, and I got your fucking back!”

“James, let the guy breath.” Rasped Elyse from her spot on the bed, everyone a little teary eyed to see her so alert and with it even though she was still very weak and her cough had not disappeared. James let Jeremy go then shocked him again, grabbing his face and kissing him hard once on the lips.

“Anything Lil’J. You have fucking saved my world.”

Jeremy stumbled a bit when he was let go, Bruce steadying him with a laugh as James quickly settled back to his wife’s side, starting to cry again as he stroked the hair from her face and murmuring all his fears and how terrified he had been for her.

“Let’s give them a moment huh?” Bruce suggested and tugged at Jeremys arm.

“Good to see you awake Elyse.”

“Good to be awake Bruce.”

“You just keep getting better sweetheart.”

“Thanks Joel.”

“Glad you’re not dead.”

“Spoole!”

“What?”

Peake flickered his hands at Elyse who smiled at him and nodded. Peake smiled back and herded the rest towards the door. Jeremy found himself between Bruce and Joel, as they spilt out into the daylight, the sun crested the horizon and climbing into the sky.

“Now that is an awesome start to a day.” Bruce said with a sigh, smiling up at the blue sky, the deep dark rings around his eyes from his sleepless night doing nothing to drag the happiness from his face, “Come on spooleo, Adam won’t be at his bunk, let’s go steal it for a nap huh.” The younger guy in the cap nodded his own face drawn and tired and they bid good morning to Joel, Jeremy and Peake.

“Days only going to get better boys! A little birdie told me that Dan is frying up spam for breakfast. Want to check it out?” Joel asked the Runner from achievement township and the mute by his side. They didn’t need words to quickly agree, fried spam the closest one could get to Bacon these days.

 

Around midday, the Runners gathered at the front of the camp, their bags weighted down with ammo, food and the grand prize, in thanks mostly to Kerry and Jeremy, Two canisters of fuel. Adam saw them off with a man Jeremy hadn’t met yet, but was introduced to. Lawrence. He was their version of Joel, the tech and radio guy who was not happy about the loss of so much fuel, their own generator system running low but staying quiet since they had basically brought Elyse back from the brink of death with their life-giving medicine.

They said their goodbye’s and set off towards home once more. They had a little more distance between each other since it was daylight and they could all see and soon Jeremy found he was walking with Ryan, Michael and Kerry walking further ahead and chatting with one another.

“Jeremy…About last night.”

“You’re not going to threaten to kill me, again are you?”

“No- ha- no…” Ryan cleared his throat, making sure the two up the front didn’t turn around as he flushed and rubbed the back of his neck, “I just wanted to say…Thank you… I guess I’ve been holding a lot in and you kinda stepped in it when you disobeyed. I mean, you shouldn’t have that point still stands, but…I’m sorry I hurt you.” So, Ryan knew he had nicked Jeremys shoulder after all, despite how Jeremy tried to hide the blood stain and act like his shoulder wasn’t itchy and hot.

“It’s ok man. Just a scratch.” Jeremy brushed the concern away even as he was touched by it, “I get it. You should have seen me when I got picked up by Rooster base people.” He gave a chuckle that had Ryan raise a brow at him with a smile.

“Oh? Bit of a wet meeting?”

“I’ll say.” He laughed then saw Ryan looking at him expectantly, “What? Now? You want to hear my dumb story?”

“I’d love to hear it. Nothing else to do on a walk is there?”

Jeremy sighed and gathered his thoughts to tell Ryan his tale.

 

_Jeremy only had three bullets left in his handgun. That’s it. Just three. Two for zombie’s and the last…well he had been alone long enough._

_But he wasn’t there yet, walking into another small town, his shoulders aching from walking with all his heavy camp gear and he was looking forward to solidifying a temporary base and holding up for a while. Maybe there’d be some comics or books around he’d like a look at. He wasn’t much of a reader before the end, but now he’d rather read then listen to his own thoughts._

_“Welcome to Terrence Ville. Population dead.” Jeremy read the welcome sign, someone having spray-painted it giving him a small chuckle, “Really man? The world end comes to the middle of nowhere and you take the time to get snarky?”_

_He told off the unknown person who had graffitied the sign, shaking his head and giving another chuckle. He walked by it and the humour faded as Jeremy really thought about what that sign really meant to him. He hadn’t seen another living soul since…_

_No, he wasn’t going to think about that. No, he was dead and gone like the rest of Jeremy’s world. No use thinking about it. No use at all. He fingered the same gun that had taken matt’s life and looked around._

_The place seemed pretty deserted, the rotted corpses around just that. Corpses. No movement or grasping hands or goddamed groans. Jeremy went into the first store he came across and found nothing of use to him. Light bulbs and car cleaner could do nothing for him. The food was either rotted or looted._

_His stomach rumbled so he moved on again._

_He ended up finding a little house just off the main road where he could hold up in the attic. He thanked the lord for a packet of Twinkies he had found stashed under a bed looking for ammo cases. That was his dinner and would be his breakfast as well._

_He unrolled his bed roll and sat on it, eating a Twinkie and tapping the gun against his shin._

_“So Jeremy, what’s our plan? I’m so glad you asked that Jeremy because I don’t have a fucking clue. Want to stay here a bit? Nice attic, roomy, no fucking squirrels like the last one.” He spoke to himself softly just to fill the silence that made his ears almost ache from the weight of it. He sighed and threw the Twinkie packet away from him, bringing the gun to be cradled in both hands, the torch balanced on its base shone light at the ceiling making everything shadowy._

_“Look so I know I promised I wouldn’t, but I think this is a nice place to stop.” He said aloud, tasting the words, answering himself, “A dinner of Twinkies is a good end, right? Hell, we might help another survivor if they come up here, a gun with two bullets could save a life.”_

_He started to laugh even as he cried because he believed there was no one else. It was just him and billions of the undead and three fucking bullets. This gun was as useless as the endless trudge of one foot in front of the other he made every day._

_“Why? Why are we doing this? You saw the sign you idiot. There is no one else. Ever. They’re dead. They’re all fucking dead and you are just wasting time.” He choked on his grief and placed the gun aside to press his palms to his eye’s and try to get control of himself. He woke up in the same position, his body aching and sunlight breaking in through the window._

_Fucking birds were tweeting and Jeremy groaned, feeling a headache thump in his head and the depression from the night before still making his limbs heavy. He ate the last few Twinkies and started to roll his bedroll, just going through the motions._

_“Guess we’re going to keep walking huh?” He asked of his legs as he put on his pack and picked up the discarded gun. He looked down on it considering when he heard it. A steady roar that was growing closer._

_“Is that…Is that a fucking CAR!?”_

_He had burst his way out into the street just as the car was going by, throwing his hands about and screaming at the tops of his lungs. He even wasted the last two bullets firing into the air and when the car had slowed then stopped, turning around for him, he dropped to his knees and wept like he was never going to cry again._

 

“So they took you to Rooster base?” Ryan asked and Jeremy snapped out of his memories to find Ryan hand taken his hand, the gesture comforting and grounding. He sniffled and wiped his face of damp, nodding.

“We travelled for three weeks together. I mean, only Trevor and I made it to Base but, god... heh they had five people in the car already so they had to squish me in.” he laughed at himself and gestured with his free hand.

“I don’t take up too much space after all.”

“I think you take up just the right amount Lil’J.” Ryan said softly.

When Achievement township came into sight and Michael turned to call out to the other two, Ryan dropped Jeremys hand and picked up his pace. Jeremy folded his fingers around the warmth and followed, happy to be back and hopefully be able to make a home here…

With people.


	7. Geoffs rule

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeremy has a bad night followed by a good afternoon

Jeremy found himself settling in to his new life at Achievement Township a lot more quickly than he supposed he would have after being alone for so long and having a bumpy start. The people he meet were all strong personalities, the only kind that could survive with their sanity. Well maybe not completely sane, but who could be at the end of the world?

Jeremy got to know the runners the most, especially the ones in his bunker.

Michael and Gavin were like day and night and were mostly together. Gavin was the most upbeat happy go lucky guy you could meet to the point that if it wasn’t for nights, Jeremy could believe Gavin was completely unaffected by the zombie invasion. Michael was a hard man but he was filled with sharp humour, happily yelling his opinion at you if you wished to engage in a friendly debate. They maintained that they were friends but they shared a bed and sometimes Jeremy would catch a glimpse of them holding each other’s hands or hugging tighter then friends would.

There was not much privacy here though everyone tried their best to be respectful.

Ray was mostly on sentry duty and so Jeremy didn’t interact much with the lad in a duty setting. However, in his spare time, Ray would seek out Michael and Gavin and since Jeremy had become friends with them, and spent time with them, Ray started to seek out Jeremy as well. The Lad brought satire and apathy to an art form confusing Jeremy until he could work out when Ray was joking and when he was serious. Ray seemed, for lack of a better word, the happiest about the situation. He said his life before was unimportant and shitty and he was happier here, with friends and doing what he loved.

Shooting zombie’s.

He also said the Apocalypse brought him to Joel, and that was all he needed.

Jeremy could understand that as he looked to his most common Running partner. Ryan was a complicated man, and his past was mysterious as anyone else’s here. He ran with long flowing strides that made Jeremy feel like the squat dwarf running with an elf. He was skilled with his machete and every time he stepped outside the gate, it would be at his hip. He made the runs interesting and Jeremy remembered how to hold a conversation with Ryan’s gentle encouragement.

Nights were hardest for everyone. Ray was the only one of Jeremys immediate friends who didn’t sleep in the bunk. Jeremy didn’t think it was any easier up in the main house however. Geoff, Jack and Caiti and Joel had the three bedrooms and naturally Ray slept with his boyfriend. Ray said he was happier now with Joel but the couple had the same dark rings under their eye’s as everyone else.

Jeremy knew Michael didn’t sleep well at night so mostly he didn’t sleep at all. It wasn’t unusual for Michael to go for a few nights without sleep until he finally just crashed. He did spend his nights curled around Gavin protectively however, trying to soothe the brit through his sleep. It didn’t always work, sometimes Jeremy would wake to Gavin’s shrieks or worse, his heartbreaking whimpers. Jeremy covered his ears with a pillow when he heard Gavin beg Michael to just kill him because he wanted the fear to be over.

Adam across from Jeremy was Joel’s partner for radio duty. He was trying to fix the long-range transmitter which had gone down a month or two ago. Jeremy wasn’t sure when Adam slept. He didn’t display any of the fatigue signs Michael did but whenever Jeremy looked over to Adams area, the man was awake, reading or writing or tinkering with something.

Other people lived with them in the bunker, making a full house of fourteen but Jeremy didn’t have much to do with the others in the bunker, their duties taking them elsewhere to the runner. Fixing the compound, sneaking out to tend and defend the farmland behind the township, etc. He did hear them cry, or thrash or scream in the night however.

As Jeremy learnt, Ryan’s warning when he had first been brought into the bunker had been warranted. It wasn’t all horror and snores that could wake you. Sometimes people sought comfort from one another and that was awkward to listen to.

Jeremy had his own night problems that he knew the others ignored out of politeness.

_“Jeremy!”_

_“Run Matt!”_

_“I can’t make it!”_

_“You can! You can!”_

_“JEREMY!”_

“MATTHEW!” Jeremy yelled the name and sat up, hand extended like he could still grab Matt and pull him to safety. He was sweating something fierce and he pulled his soaked shirt over his head and tossed it to the end of the bed before he leant to the side grabbing his small flashlight and turned it on, his breathing evening out as he leant his head in his hands.

“You ok?” A soft voice from beside him and Jeremy looked to see Ryan peeking through the curtains at him. Jeremy gave a soft huff of bitter amusement and shook his head.

“No, but who is right? Sorry I woke you.”

“You didn’t wake me. I was up anyway… Want some company?” Jeremy considered that for a moment, his first reaction was to dismiss it out of hand but as he really thought about it he realised that he didn’t want to be alone. Ryan saw the answer without needing Jeremy to admit it so he got up and slid into the space, sitting on the end of Jeremy’s bed cross legged.

“You ever played hand games?” Ryan asked and Jeremy sat up a little straighter, crossing his own legs and wiping his face.

“Like paddy cake?”

“Sort of. Here, put your hands like this.” He put his hands together like he was praying but the fingers pointed at Jeremy. Jeremy copied him and Ryan made the tips of their middle fingers touch. Ryan smiled at Jeremy who looked to him confused before he nodded down at their hands.

“It’s a reaction game. You need to try and slap my hands and I try to slap yours. If you flinch without me making contact I get a point. If you hit, you get a point. You have to try and dodge the hits while making your own and no false movements.”

Jeremy could understand that and he watched Ryan’s hands for the slightest twitch. He winced when suddenly Ryan got the back of his hand in a slap then cursed when he missed his own strike.

“Two points to me.” Ryan said smugly. Jeremy bit his lip and tried to hit Ryan’s hand only for him to pull his hands out of the way. Then Jeremy was hit again and Jeremy scoffed.

“You’re good.”

“That’s because I’m not looking at your hands.” Ryan said softly and Jeremy looked to see Ryan’s eyes fixed firmly on Jeremys face. Jeremy felt his regard and the heat travelled into is cheeks, Ryan smiling wider at him when he saw the colour change.

“how can a guy who spends his days outrunning and beating down zombies be so bashful. It’s like every time I glance at you you’re turning a different colour.” Ryan teased lightly and softly only increasing the burn in Jeremys cheeks. Jeremy had to look away, that much eye contact a little overwhelming for him, shrugging as he did so.

“Just not used to people yet I guess…” Jeremy mumbled then was brought back to the game by Ryan giving him a light slap.

“Four to nothing.” Ryan gloated turning the attention back to the game and not Jeremys social awkwardness. Jeremy managed to score two points, one for a flinch one for a slap when Ryan spoke again.

“Did you want to talk about him?”

“Who?”

“Matthew.”

Jeremy stiffened and Ryan got his hand again.

“You don’t have to just… You know, you listened to me rant at you, only fair I do the same.”

“You’re not obligated to hear my sob story Rye.” Jeremy said a little shortly, the slap he landed a little harder then he meant. Ryan took it however and put his hands over Jeremy’s making him look up at Ryan’s face once more. Sincerity and sympathy were written across his features, his blue eyes glinting in the flashlight.

“It’s not an obligation Jeremy. I- I want… I mean if you wanted… Talking helps, right? I mean it helped me and I just want you to feel better too…”

Jeremy felt his throat thicken and he had to blink to clear the tears before they came. It had been so long…So long since anyone cared for him, for his wellbeing… the silence stretched and Ryan let go of his hands to rub his own knee’s nervously and shaking his head.

“But if you don’t want to talk, I get that too” Ryan tried nervously laughing the moment away but fell silent when Jeremy put a finger to the bed and traced the rolls of the sheets, speaking softly.

“I dreamt about matt. Obviously…” he scoffed at himself, knowing he had called matt’s name, “It was a memory more than a dream however. We- we were together when it happened. We were out, just hanging out, checking out the new Pokémon game you know? Then we heard screaming and you don’t win a prize if you can guess where this is going.”

“The outbreak.” Ryan murmured and Jeremy nodded.

“We heard about it. I mean it was breaking news and all but it was four cities away. We thought it was a stunt or a mass panic. I mean dead rising? Someone was having a laugh, a new movie trying something new to promote. But someone was bitten and they fell. Then they got up and bite someone else.”

It happened so fast, no one had time to react. What was on the news the night before was suddenly at your door. Ryan knew how jarring it could be, how those first unbelieving minutes cost people lives. How the days after, the hope and the confidence in human ability to survive lead to more deaths. How people tried to tough out the bite’s thinking they could last until a cure…

“Stupid curious idiots we are, as people ran, we stayed still. We wanted to know what was happening. Matt was with me the first time I saw a zombie. A fucking real corpse, no fucking way that it was makeup or a prank or any of that shit. She was missing half her _face_ but she still came at us.”

Jeremy was shuddering in remembered horror, remembering Matt’s disbelieving cries and his own horror.

_“No fucking way! No fucking way man!”_

_“Oh fuck me! Fucking run dude! We got to get out of here!”_

“is that when you lost him?’ Ryan asked quietly and Jeremy shook his head, almost numb as Ryan took his hand, his slightly larger and his palm calloused and rough against Jeremy’s own. He watched as Ryan put the other hand on the back of Jeremys and rubbed the back of it as he squeezed. Jeremy could feel it, grounding him to the now as like a busted water pipe, words poured from him without his control.

“I never lost him. Though it had been close that first day. We managed to get outside and the crowd was terrifying. Every way you turned you saw people screaming, blood everywhere, the dead mixed with the living. Fucking nightmare and it’s a _memory_ …We saw a truck trying to get out of there, it’s back open and survivors calling out for anyone alive to make their way to it. We were running and I managed to get in as it started to pull away.”

He had grabbed some random guys hand and before he had fully settled in, his was reaching for matt. Matt was running as hard as he could, his glasses covering his wet tear and sweat soaked face. He was reaching for Jeremy, yelling for him. Zombies were after him and when they are newly animated they were a lot faster. The truck was moving and Matt wasn’t the only survivor running after it.

“We were pulling away; the gape was just getting bigger. Then I saw a woman go down who had been running beside him. I had to jump, I couldn’t leave him behind.”

Jeremy choked and bowed his head. Then his hand had been let go and strong arms were wrapped around him, their roles reversed now as Jeremy ruined Ryan’s shirt, clinging to him and sobbing it out. His loneliness and his fear, his guilt and his anger. Everything burst from him, the utter futility he never could fully shake since his days alone. Like everything was just delaying the inevitable. As Jeremy cried he understood what was truly broken within him.

He was a man without hope.

“You’re a brave man Jeremy.” Ryan murmured and that only made the tears worse.

“I’m not Ryan, I’m really not.”

“You are, I’ve been running with you for weeks now. You’ve been a great recruit to our little community. You’re always willing to help, always willing to stick your head out for others.”

Jeremy just cried harder shaking his head. Ryan didn’t know, he couldn’t understand. And there was no way Jeremy was going to admit to Ryan what Jeremy had done.

The tears ran out and they broke apart, Ryan taking a hand again.

“feel better?” He asked, cheekily echoing what Jeremy had asked after Ryan’s cry.

“Yes and no.” Jeremy chuckled wetly, “God remember the days when it was ‘weak’ for men to cry?” He asked Ryan who also chuckled. They started as Adam called from his bed showing they were not as alone as they thought.

“Pretty sure all the asshole who said that are dead.” Jeremy was embarrassed for a moment then the words sunk in and he laughed with Ryan, who squeezed his hand that little harder, support in silence.

“Hey, I’m still alive, I’ve just been corrected.” Michael put in, and Adam replied.

“You’re just an all-round asshole Michael.”

“Takes one to know one jackass.”

“Micool, Adam, I’m trying to sleep here.” Gavin whined, then from further up the line.

“Shut the fuck up! Some of us have an early morning!”

“We all have early mornings Peter! THAT’S WHY WE GET UP WITH THE SUN!” Michael Yelled in his trademarked fury and Ryan called over the top of the resulting argument.

“OK! Ok! That’s enough! Let’s all shut up and go to sleep huh? Unless someone wants to get started on the new latrine dig early?”

“You started it Rye!”

“Well I’m finishing it too. Perks of being bunk boss. Goodnight everyone.”

Ryan winked at Jeremy and patted his knee before sliding off the bed. Jeremy caught his wrist, looking as surprised as Ryan that he had done so.

“S-stay?” He stammered and was incredibly grateful when Ryan nodded, getting back on the bed and laying down with his back to him. It was a tight squeeze but Jeremy lay down as well, his back to Ryan’s and with that comfort, he switched off the flashlight and managed to go back to sleep this time with memory’s staying firmly locked away.

 

“Ok ladies and gents, the time you’ve been waiting on!”

“Get on with it!”

“Hey you may be cute Lisa but don’t push me.” Geoff said with a grin standing on a box in the middle of the township, mostly everyone gathered around. Jeremy had been helping in the stock shed, using the strength in his arms to help shift boxes and reorganise their supplies so Caiti could take a proper stock. Ryan and Michael had both been with him as well and the three wandered towards where Geoff was yelling, sweat making their clothes dark but the companionship making smiles wide.

Gavin ran towards them as they got closer, Ray and Joel in the crowd as well, looking over when Gavin had left them. Their hands were fused together, and ray let his head fall to rest on Joel’s arm to watch his friends come nearer.

“What’s going on?” Jeremy asked and Ryan laughed and hit himself in the forehead.

“I completely forgot. It’s that time of the month, isn’t it?” He directed the question to Joel who winked and nodded.

“You know it.”

“What do we know?” Jeremy asked a little frustrated as his friends grinned over his head but Ryan took mercy putting a hand on Jeremys shoulder.

“Geoff had this idea ages ago that the apocalypse sucks and is depressing place to be. So, he decided for an afternoon each month, he was suspending it.”

Jeremy chuckled the idea absurd.

“What the hell does that mean?” he asked but Geoff was talking so they fell quiet.

“Now as we start out, I just want a quick round of applause for our sentries today!” everyone clapped and Jeremy flinched at the amount of noise being made. Ryan still had his hand on his shoulder and slid it onto his back to rub soothing circles there, leaning close to whisper over the clapping and cheering.

“Sentry duty is doubled and we have runners in place further out to radio in approach.” He assured Jeremy who still felt nervous but the touch of Ryan was soothing. Gavin and Michael were pumping fists and yelling happily and Joel was also hollering, shaking a fist while Ray chuckled shaking his head.

“OK SHUT IT!” Geoff bellowed in a cracked voice, people laughing and quieting.

“Now you have the afternoon guys! The sports stuff has been broken out in the west end, play nice together ok? No fighting like dicks! On the spot is being held in the mess and Caiti and her team have cooked cupcakes thanks to the long-life milk found by some of our runners-“ he was drowned out by the cheering, the spontaneous noise scary but exhilarating, Jeremy colouring as he realised Geoff meant himself and Ryan were the runners to find the milk, “AND! Ray and his lovely assistant Joel have killed TWO DEER! WERE HAVING A ROAST TONIGHT!”

Now Jeremy joined in the cheers, Ryan at his side eyes excited as his own as he clapped hard. Michael hit Ray on the arm who cried out then laughed as he was pulled up onto Joel’s shoulders, his boyfriend holding his knees and bouncing as people cheered them.

“Fuck yes! We’re the best baby!” Joel yelled as Michael berated them with a wide smile, Gavin hanging off his side in happiness.

“Why didn’t you tell us that’s what you were doing this morning?!” He cried and Ray gave them all the finger as Joel turned him.

“That’s it, worship me bitches!”

Jeremy laughed with everyone else, Geoff waved a hand giving up and being able to speak again and jumping off the box.

“I gotta talk with Geoff, I’ll be back.” Ryan murmured and left Jeremy to join in the celebration by himself. Ray was put back on solid ground and Jeremy was one of those to come forward and slap a hand against his back. He laughed with the rest as Joel burst into an impromptu story about finding the rare source of fresh meat, the way he told it, Ray had been a clumsy mess and only Joel’s super human reflexes meant they got two of the herd before it ran off.

Ray complained loudly, correcting his boyfriend about his story only for Joel to embellish on how scared and slow Ray had been. Jeremy grinned as Ray slapped Joel on the chest, the bigger man pretending to be floored by the hit for everyone’s entertainment. The amount of noise they were wilfully making was frightening yes but also freeing. Jeremy felt something tight in him begun to unravel as Gavin grabbed his wrist and pulled him towards the east where people where gathering for some sort of game show style game.

He stood in the crowd and watched as Jon, a man he’d spoken too once or twice, one of the organizers for the township and a runner, ran a show where only he could delegate points wherever the hell he felt like it. The crowd supplied prompts when asked and the contestants competed in teams.

Privately, Jeremy thought Geoff was a genius. Insane, but a genius. This was just what he needed. As he laughed with his friends and shouted out his own movie ideas with the rest, he understood what this afternoon was about. Not being scared to live.

Day to day, you moved quietly, nothing loud that would attract the horde. There was no laughter, not really because all your energy is focused on living, surviving. All your thoughts are on what you had lost and what you could lose now. Everyone was always on edge, wondering when they wouldn’t run fast enough or be quick enough to draw or simply be ambushed and surrounded.

“Want a turn?” Asked Michael when Jon was calling for another round of teams. Jeremy shook his head, still too shy to get up in front of the crowd and speak.

“Suit yourself. Come on Gabbin.” Michael used the nickname affectionately dragged Gavin up with him and they faced off against Miles and Kerry. Jeremy smiled to see it but started to back away, wondering if he could find Ryan. He wasn’t game to examine too closely why he wanted to share this afternoon with his regular running partner but he did try the sports field first.

There he was dragged down to sit next to ray who was watching Joel run around with a few of the teens in the camp. One had crutches that a runner had brought back and his leg tightly bandaged but he still limped around with his age mates. Jeremy was happy to sit with Ray, he liked the man’s quiet as well as his humour and bedside’s he had found Ryan.

Joel was playing for one team, Ryan goal keeping for the other.

“Sucks to be you man. Ryan’s on shirts.” Ray said quietly and Jeremy jerked then looked at him with heat in his cheeks. Ray gave him a quick sidelong look and a knowing grin before he looked back to the game.

“Please. I don’t have to be in the Bunks to know you two are getting close.” At Jeremys horrified slash curios face ray shrugged, “Gavin’s a fucking gossip. He’s all ‘Oh x-ray! Wot if they got togver? Day be so cute x-ray!’ the nerd loves love.”

“I thought people gave privacy here.” Jeremy grumbled aloud and ray laughed.

“they try and if you end up banging, you may get a bit of teasing the next morning but that’s about it. I mean, Joel used to sneak into the Bunks when we were first dating, they never bugged us or anything. Just the day after there might have been a few light teases but that’s it.”

Jeremy wanted off this subject fast, not knowing how he fully felt about Ryan let alone people reacting to it.

“so why aren’t you playing?” He asked and Ray snorted.

“Bitch please. I snipe because you can stay in one spot. I don’t run unless it’s to save my life.”

“I guess I have had enough running for now.” Jeremy agreed, a momentary idea too jump in the game abandoned. He didn’t want to ruin the afternoon by having his head relate all those running feelings into something bad.

“I never thought the end of everything would be so good.” Ray said lightly and Jeremy knew what he meant, nodding and watching as Ryan blocked a goal, cheering and giving a teen a double high five, their team up in the scores.

“I’ve never seen a survivor’s camp like this.” Jeremy confided, “Like, when it all first happened, I got in this group right? We were holding out in a mall like a couple of fucking plebs. That’s the dream, to be in a store after hours, access to everything. But it was all serious, no one wanted to risk shit…”

“My friend, Matt and I…Well the power was still on and we figured fuck it you know? So we ah, we went to the fucking arcade.” Jeremy chuckled as he remembered splitting off from all those grim-faced people, and they’re talk of cures and rescues and holding out until the military came, just to head up stairs and turn on the machines, “We played dance off for like an hour then went nuts on all the kiddie games. Whack a mole and the fucking water guns and goddam perfection.” His laughter died off and he shook his head, looking to his feet.

“that’s the last time I remember having fun… Zombs broke in later that night and we booked it. Never saw any of those grim-faced assholes again…”

Ray nudged his shoulder with his own slim one, smiling at him when Jeremy looked up.

“Want to go snag a cupcake with me?” He asked kindly and Jeremy nodded. He got up then reached out to help Ray to his feet. As they were getting up, Joel looked over then called a goodbye to his team. He ran over, still sweating and tried to hug Ray who laughed and pushed him off.

“Gross! No! you stink as bad as that fucking shack does!”

“My shack smells like me thank you very much.”

“My point exactly asshole. No need to mark your territory with your scent like a goddamn animal” Ray snarked then yelled when Joel grabbed him around the waist and spun him around, rubbing his sweaty head into Rays chest.

“Animal am I?! mine! This is mine! Look I’m marking you!”

As Jeremy laughed he noticed Ryan leave the game as well, saying goodbye to the kids then coming over to watch with Jeremy the boyfriend’s shenanigans. Jeremy cocked a thumb at them answering Ryan’s raised eyebrow.

“Joel is marking Ray with his scent.” He smiled and Ryan made a wise noise of agreement.

“Fair enough. I think I’ll stick to just asking people. On that note, Jeremy, want to go with me to get a cupcake?” He asked seriously, his eyes bright and a soft smile as he looked to the shorter man.

“Uh-“

“That’s where we were going anyway rye-bread! Down boy!” Ray yelled at them as Joel let him down still sniggering as Ray stumbled a few steps away and put an arm around Jeremys shoulders, grinning at Ryan and giving him a wink.

“If you take too long to ask Rye you’ll find others will before you can.” Ray told him wisely and Joel picked up on the cues from his boyfriend, taking the other side of Jeremy and grinning at Ryan.

“Ray and I have got this Rye-man. Why don’t you go find the other lads and see if they want something yummy in their tummy’s?”

Jeremy looked over his shoulder as he was led away watching an inscrutable expression cross Ryan’s face. He looked to Ray who was humming happily.

“What did you do that for?”

“Jeremy, haven’t you heard of hard to get?” Ray asked him with a chuckle and Joel sniggered.

“After snacks we should play a game of keep away.” And Ray jumped crowing and pumping a fist.

“Yes, I love it! Don’t worry Lil’J we are your guardian angels man, we will get you some or we’ll have none ourselves.” Ray promised, Joel stopping the trio and blinking rapidly at ray.

“I’m sorry, what?” he asked and Ray tugged Jeremy into a run, leaving Joel behind, the two lads laughing and high fiving as they entered the mess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See! see! i can be nice to them too!


	8. under the stars

The mood was lowered slightly when they were sitting around stuffing themselves sick on roast deer, listening to Geoff stand on a table and tell amusing stories, when he fell quiet, the sentries firing out into the twilight. Jeremy straightened from where he had been leaning against Michaels back, the two using each other as support, Gavin leant into Michaels side.

He locked eyes with Ryan who had been sitting cross legged nearby pulling grass as he listened and ray put a hand on Joel’s leg, tension in the crowd of people. They were quiet as the guns fired again and again, geoff’s face become more serious with every shot. Then it stopped and someone called an all clear on the wall.

“Dibs not cleaning that mess up.” Michael murmured as he resettled against Jeremys back, pulling Gavin a little closer. Jeremy also leant back again, still looking to Ryan who had deep lines of worry carved into his face.

“Ok everyone settle down; our sentries took care of it. Now, where was I?”

“You were drunk and stolen away in my supplies Geoff.” Jack volunteered and Geoff chuckled.

“Oh yeah… So anyway, I had no idea where I was, just the stupid whine of the engine of that goddam tiny plane-“

“My plane was only meant for me and supplies! It was not tiny!”

“Someone has compensation issues…”

Jeremy chuckled looking back up too Geoff then glancing at Ryan to see if he was relaxing again but the older man was gone. He nudged Michael and leant his lips closer to hear.

“Hey, I’m heading out, I’ll catch you later?” He whispered and Michael nodded, glancing over his shoulder as he readjusted to take his own weight and Gavin’s.

“He’ll be at the wall after that noise.” Michael supplied helpfully and Jeremy stopped in his getting up, staying on one knee.

“Who said I’m looking for Ryan?” He said defensively and Michael grinned.

“You did just then idiot. Have fun.” Michael teased and as Jeremy fully got to his feet, Gavin smiled from Michaels side.

“Take him another muffin. Rye loves baked things.” Gavin suggested and Jeremy blushed.

“Butt out.” He told them both getting knowing looks from his friends before he walked away towards the towers and on the way, stole another muffin from the platter. He went to the towers first, walking up the stairs trying not to feel like they were going to snap under his feet at any moment. It was easy at the top, the floors feeling more solid under his feet and railings lining the walls. The concrete and brick mix was also soothing to stand on.

“This for me? Thanks dude!” Kyle snatched the muffin out of his hands and bit into it, leaving Jeremy empty handed and wondering if he should say something. After a second he shut his mouth and forced a smile at the sentry who had a rifle slung over his shoulder.

“So, come to visit me Lil’J? Thanks man, it can get pretty boring up here as Miles should remember.” Kyle grumbled and looked back out into the night, eyes searching for movement. Jeremy got side-tracked by his friends slightly bitter tone, putting his back to the railing and looking at him with head cocked.

“those muffins were sweet not bitter.” He pointed out and Kyle chuckled shaking his head.

“Sorry dude. Just last month when miles was on sentry duty, I came and brought him a cookie and all and today… Well, I’m glad you remembered one of your friends was on the wall. Keeping you all safe I might add while you party up.” Jeremy was glad Kyle was looking out into the no man’s land as he felt guilt stir in his stomach. He had actually forgotten completely that one of his friends was on sentry duty today. It was harder to keep track of the ones who didn’t live in his bunk. Suddenly he was glad to have come up here for Kyles sake.

“We heard the shots. I’m glad you’re ok.” Jeremy said sincerely and Kyle shrugged, giving him a sideways grin.

“I always loved those duck shooter games at carnivals. Just like that now, only with gross clean up.”

“do you ever…” Jeremy begun to ask when they heard footsteps on the tower stairs then Kerry and miles came through the door, holding a muffin in each hand and smiling. They paused to see Jeremy with Kyle, but the sentry cried out happily and came forward throwing arms around the two’s necks.

“I knew my guys wouldn’t forget me!” he said and moved back to smile at his friends.

“You just said-“Jeremy started, his brain to mouth filter not working and Kyle kicked him.

“Ow!” Jeremy said sharply as they laughed at him then he snatched a muffin from Kerry.

“You have one for each of you now.” Jeremy said with a grin, Kyle winking at him and jerking a chin down the line.

“Ryan’s that way.” He said happily, taking a muffin from miles and the trio made a mocking Oooo noises. Jeremy’s smile fell and he blushed hard, narrowing his eyes at them.

“I’m only going that way because you idiots are blocking the door.” He told them haughtily and started off down the wall line as his friends laughed then started to chat, Kyle telling them about the excitement at the wall and Kerry and miles telling Kyle about the afternoon.

 

Ryan had checked in on the sentries and walked the wall himself, admiring the job that had been done. Jack had done a great job, the wall stable beneath his feet and the width enough for two men to cross each other. Ryan hadn’t been here for the beginning, but he had made it into the township just as the last few lengths had been done.

Those had been in the days where they had still used vehicles and were sure they could last. Now, everyone lived for these once a month celebrations. Ryan was sure it was going to be on a day where geoff’s ‘zombie ban’ was in effect, was the day they would be over run. Safety of the camp was important but he also saw the merit of these fun days. It was the only day he saw certain people smile.

Without hope they were dead.

So, he came up to the wall to keep an eye out for himself and maybe take a moment to think what he was going to do. The camp was slowly disintegrating, he could see it under the surface. Geoff’s idea had slowed the rot but it was still there. People were beginning to give up.

 _He_ was starting to give up.

It was just so hard and since his break down on poor new Jeremy’s shoulder, his own words were haunting him. Emily had been the last person they lost and he knew it was only a matter of time before they lost another. It was just a matter of who and how.

Would it be Michael? His lack of sleep making him sloppy on the field? Would it be Gavin? He who talks the most about the merits of suicide? Miles and Kyle, he felt would go together, their antics leading them astray but helpless to separate them. Jon was slowing down; his regular running partner Patrick having come to tell Ryan that Jon was lagging behind.

Jeremy…

Sweet, kind, soft hearted and determined Jeremy…

Ryan sighed and put his elbows on the railing, running his hands through his hair rubbing his own scalp. He was an idiot. The lads were meddling already, it was so obvious to everyone but himself how smitten he was by the younger man. Ray and Joel had made him realise how much he had been flirting without meaning to with him.

Jeremy, who came in so strong and was always for doing the right thing for the moment and not the future. Jeremy, with his crooked grin and his cheeky eyes flashing at him. The man was a rainbow of colour, his thoughts written across his face if he hadn’t blurted them out first. His humour and his silence were both comforts.

Ryan didn’t know what the rules were at the end of the world. The lads were acting like it would be the simplest thing in the world to start up a relationship. Ray and Joel had no problems, Joel telling Ryan he had to live more in the moment. Michael and Gavin were dancing around each other, Ryan knowing Michael was having trouble letting go of the wife he had left behind. Miles took comfort where ever he could and Kyle and Mica were looking at each other over morning meetings like no one else could see the long looks.

Ryan knew better. He and Jack had enacted a ban on all alcohol and yet somehow, despite never leaving, Geoff kept getting his hands on the brew. The leader was despairing, hope was dwindling and even Jack had pulled Ryan aside to tell him softly that if things kept falling as they were, he was considering taking Caiti and a few others and running for it.

The supplies were running low and winter was getting nearer. This was no time to be considering relationships.

Someone tell that to his heart which gave a giddy jump when he heard Jeremy call to him from the dark. The shorter man approached, the shape of his broad shoulders cutting out a piece of sky and his smile glinting in the starlight.

“Hey, thought you might like some company, so I, uh, brought you a cupcake.” He presented it to Ryan and the gentleman wisely didn’t point out he could feel the hint of heat from Jeremy from where he stood. Instead he took the muffin, his fingers brushing over palm.

“Thank you.” He said sincerely, and turned the muffin in his fingers, looking back at Jeremy and noticed he wasn’t coming to the railing beside Ryan. Had Ryan been misreading this, what this was, the whole time? Maybe Jeremy had been alone to long, that he only need the comfort of a friend and the whole dilemma was a mote point. Ryan told himself he was disappointed, that he had just eaten too much for once.

“Any chance you know the end to Geoff’s accidental stow away story?” Jeremy asked, taking a half step forward and peering over the side of the wall only to back up again. Ryan laughed aloud when he remembered what was wrong and shook his head at his own thickheadedness.

“You’re afraid of heights! I forgot that.” Ryan sniggered, straightening from his lean to step back to Jeremys side. Jeremy ran a hand through his hair and gave a self-conscious chuckle.

“Yeah, it’s not that bad…I just like the middle here. It’s kinda stable and ground floor feeling you know?” When Ryan broke his muffin in half he offered some to the lad, telling himself he was just taking care of a runner and it had nothing to do with the fact Jeremy always seemed like he was starved when eating, “No thanks Rye. I got that for you.”

“Well, I want to share it. So here. Have some.” Jeremy sighed then took it, Ryan smiling at him as they looked back out into the area surrounding the camp. He heard Jeremy sigh again and he thought he knew what it was. From where they stood they could see the bodies the sentries had stopped, and Ryan agreed.

A senseless waste of life.

“The stars sure are beautiful, aren’t they?” Jeremy murmured and Ryan started, looking from the bodies to Jeremy then following his gaze up. The stars burned bright as the moon was dark, lighting up the sky in a tapestry.

“One thing that could be said for the apocalypse is the view is spectacular without all those lights to clog it up.” Jeremy said and Ryan found himself looking to the lad again. Jeremy had a soft smile, and as Ryan watched he took a bite of the muffin half, closing his eyes and enjoying the taste.

Everyone else had something they couldn’t pass up. For Ryan, it was Diet coke but everyone had something. Jeremy didn’t. It was like he embraced whatever he could be given, each treat just as worthwhile as the next to him. Favourites were a thing that belonged in the old world. Maybe in some ways Jeremy was more embraced to this kind of life then Ryan was.

They stood together in silence, looking up at the stars and enjoying the shared muffin. Then Jeremy spoke, his voice thoughtful.

“Do you ever…” he trailed off and as Ryan looked to him Jeremy was looking away, his body turned slightly from him, “Never mind. It’s dumb.”

“No Jeremy, what is it?” Ryan asked, resisting the urge to touch him. Ryan had been fighting, and losing, that urge for a while now but as of this moment he managed to fight it off mostly because Jeremy meet his eyes.

“Something Kyle said. Something Ray talks about… They pretend it’s a game here. Shooting zombies, I mean. Like a carnival, Kyle said.” Jeremy spoke slowly at first then as he continued he sped up his hands starting to gesture and small grunts came from his mouth as he tried to find the words he wanted, “Like a fucking carnival…But me? They are still people out there. Those bodies. Those were people once, a month or a year or three years ago. Way before any of this, they were people and I just…”

Jeremy were speaking words that sunk into the core of Ryan. He knew his reputation, had earned it. His murder book was kept under his mattress, filled with the names of those he knew he had killed. What people didn’t understand was it was mostly filled with the names of those who had turned and he had to put down.

“You can’t pretend, can you?” Ryan completed Jeremys sentence for him and the lad looked to him sharply, searching his face for something, Ryan didn’t know what.

“Let’s get to bed huh? There’s reasons why we don’t normally stay up past sundown.” Ryan suggested softly and saw a flash of disappointment followed by sadness before Jeremy turned from the lights of the stars, and started back to the tower.

“You’re right Ryan. That was a hell of an afternoon.”

“But a good one, right?” Ryan asked, a little concern on how glum Jeremy sounded. He cast a look over his shoulder at Ryan and nodded.

“Yeah. It was a good one… while it lasted.”

Maybe Jeremy didn’t live quiet as in the moment as Ryan thought.

 

“Runner seven! Runner Seven!” Jeremy looked up from where he was sitting with a group, shaving wood into pikes for the perimeter. It was his day off running, and this work was easy and restful while still being useful. Seems his break was over however as one of the kids in the camp, working as messenger systems for the adults, skidded to a halt by him.

“Runner seven.” They said breathlessly and Jeremy got up, holding a hand out.

“That’s my number kid, what’s up?” he asked, the group looking up curiously from their work.

“Geoff needs you. On the wall.” The kid panted and Jeremy nodded, patting the tweens shoulder.

“Ok, I’ll be right there, you take a breather alright?” He instructed the child then said his goodbyes to the group, walking quickly towards the towers. He put on a burst of speed when he saw Geoff and Ray standing together, passing the sniper rifle back and forth, gazing at the distant city.

“Geoff!” Jeremy yelled as he got closer, and Geoff and ray both turned, the older one lifting a hand.

“I’ll come down to you! Gear up!” Geoff called back so it was in the armoury where Jeremy got his explanation.

“Ray’s spotted a kid on a balcony in the city.” Geoff explained as Jeremy got kitted out for a run, now with a side hand axe that sat on his hip, “Seems alone, it’s been crying for an hour and nothing. As far as he can tell, it’s not bit but at the distance, even with the scope we can’t tell. Still Kids turn faster than adults so if it was infected, it should have gone by now.”

“I’m rescuing a kid?” Jeremy asked incredulous. The youngest they had in the camp was an eleven-year-old. There was only a handful of youngsters and twice that many teens. There were no young kids, babies or pregnant anymore.

“looks three, maybe four.” Geoff said softly and Jeremy stilled in putting his pack on.

“That makes it-“

“Born after the end, yeah. Parents did a decent job protecting it but now I think it’s on its own.” Geoff said softly and watched Jeremys face harden, shaking it quickly.

“No. No, I’ll get to them. They will not be left alone.” Geoff came with him towards the radio shack to get his headset.

“You’re running alone today, I can’t risk more than one person on this. It’s another mouth to feed so really I shouldn’t be wasting anyone at all…” Geoff trailed off for a moment then grunted, “But fuck it, my house, my rules and we are not letting a fucking child die because they can’t contribute.”

Joel looked up from his desk when they entered, Jeremy getting his pieces and clipping it onto his belt as Geoff explained what was up to Joel.

“Runners Four and Five say there’s a zombie mass between them and that area, walking that way. By the sounds of it, getting in from this direction will be clear Lil’J but you got to move fast, because they are coming for it.” Joel reported and Jeremy asked before he could think too hard about it.

“Runner six and Twelve?”

“Ryan and Miles are further in and further west. No way they can get there in time.” Joel said and Jeremy nodded. He considered geoff’s serious face.

“I’m ready.”

He wasn’t. But he ran anyway, heading toward where he had been told the child was. He wished he had someone at his back, had Ryan at his back, but that wasn’t to be. No this was more like how it had been alone. Then his headset crackled and it startled him.

“ _So, I know this was a spar of the moment thing but we got rules for a reason runner seven.”_

“Joel!” Jeremy chuckled and flicked the headset, “Joel, you’re a son of a bitch but I love to hear your voice.”

“ _I’m taken Lil’J remember?”_

“In your dreams, I want you Heyman. Anyway sorry, just focused on the job you know? Runner seven headed out.”

“ _No, you’d rather Haywood wouldn’t you little guy?”_

“shut the fuck up Heyman.” Jeremy blushed and scoffed still grateful for his voice. Joel seemed to understand, perhaps he knew a lone runner needed the human contact, whatever the reason he ignored Jeremys order to start to drawl lazily.

“ _I was on love connection once.”_

“What?”

“ _You know! Love connection! The Tv show?”_ Jeremy chuckled as he walked briskly conserving energy to run for the city and listened to Joel’s story, watching the city approach. He contributed back and forth with the radio until he hit the outskirts.

“ _And so, I’m standing there, with a bowl of bacon bits, and now I got to make a fucking choice…”_

“Sorry buddy, I absolutely want to hear the end of this story but I’m in the city.”

“ _Alright Jeremy. Let me know how you go ok?”_

“Will do.” Jeremy said back, then walked into the streets, aiming for the apartment building halfway across town. He would be cutting it tight with night here so he had his hand hover near his axe and his eye’s peeled. He hoped he could get to this kid and get out before sunset.

He didn’t like the chances.


	9. Molly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeremy finds a little girl in trouble. he needs to spend a long night in the city but luckily theres someone to talk to over the headset  
> (Cation, there's angst and death ahead)  
> ((I was meant to be asleep only for this to not get out of my head so yay, waking up to write then post...thats a good idea right?))

The city was a disturbing place to be. Once, cars filled the street, the noises of engines prevalent. People walked to and fro, their voices a hum. The electricity made everything run, lights buzzing, air-conditions roaring, mechanics clinking. Music poured from speakers in stores, a soft mood setting to the sounds of city life.

Now there was nothing but the wind blowing through empty streets. Everything was still. Everything was quiet. With the exception of Jeremy…And the groaning dead.

Years after the infection and yet they still thrived in what was once population centres. Jeremy avoided them best he could, ducking and weaving through the occasional patch. Every now and again he’d have to set to work with his axe, severing necks to get through. That was dangerous, getting within reach of them but luckily these old dead were stiffening as time passed and slowed down.

As he got closer to his destination he heard the child crying. A low desperate wail that grew then faded then grew again as if the child had been crying so long it was trying to conserve energy. The sound cut straight to the heart of him, no adult could walk away from such a heartbreaking call. He was called on a biological level to protect the young that was making that noise.

He pushed his speed and hit the transmitter at his waist to talk to Joel.

“Hey Joel, I’m making it through, almost at the apartment. Anything new to report?”

_“Just either you’re going to want to double time it or you might need to spend the night locked up tight there because that horde Gav and Michael reported are moving in.”_

Oh, Jeremy knew about it. He could hear it. The slow shuffle, the constant groan of lungs that no longer worded sawing breath through rotting throats. The more that were together the further away you could hear it. The fact he could hear it now was not a good sign.

He had to take the axe to the front door then he was racing upstairs, counting to get to the floor the kid was on. The call was still coming, muffled but louder as he pounded up the steps. There was only one zombie on the floor below the child, wandering slowly up the stairs towards the call. A fresh zombie, his eyes barely glassed and his skin still pink.

Jeremy swallowed hard seeing it, seeing the bite that turned this man on his elbow as the zombie turned to face him. Newly turned were faster, meaner and arguably faster. Jeremy had nothing to tip on this one so he hit the clips on his bag letting it fall to free up movement as the zombie snarled all too human and lunged towards him.

Jeremy jumped to the side, swinging his axe as the zombie passed, hitting spine. Unfortunately, that did nothing but make it turn and come at him again. It grabbed the Axe and Jeremy was yelling instinctively as they grappled, teeth snapping at him. He kicked out and hit knee, cartilage breaking backwards and the zombie stumbled. Jeremy jumped back and the zombie went down, his axe getting caught under the downed Zomb.

“Oh, fuck off.” He cursed as the zombie started getting back up, growling and snarling, trying to walk on its broken leg to a disgusting lurching effect. At least it was slower now and Jeremy backed up. He needed to bring it closer so he could dart around and get his weapon. Then the child let out a fresh wail and both zombie and Man looked towards the stairs, one with the instinct to protect, the other with the instinct to eat.

Jeremy thought quickly and before the zombie’s attention came back to him, he took a step forward and kicked out, hitting it square in the chest and tipping it over. That freed the axe, Jeremy snatching it up the putting a foot on Zombie chest to bring the axe down between the eyes. The zombie gave a half groan then suddenly all parody of life fled and Jeremy was standing over the top fresh body of a man most likely the child’s father.

Jeremy pulled his axe out with a grunt of effort, blood spilling from the horrible split and he backed up. Suddenly, his stomach revolted and he threw up, bending over his knee’s his heart racing and breath sawing out as the rush of defending his life faded and left room for his mind to deal with the death he had just dealt.

He didn’t have time for an existential crisis right now as the child begun wailing again. He took a deep breath and avoided looking at the zombie he had killed (man he had murdered?) to grab his back and reclip the straps together. He put it back on and started up the stairs, feeling sluggish after the fight.

He found the correct apartment and he axed in the door to get in. Inside there were a few spikes made from sharpened table and chair legs strung together surrounded on the opposite side by a baby gate. There was food stacked up on the bench top, preserved fruits and meats that made Jeremys mouth water to see. Directly in front of him, over the couches and past the little camp area were double glass doors to the balcony that were shut.

Just beyond them, the child sat, breathless and whimpering as she gathered energy for another cry. Jeremy got over the spikes carefully, dropped his bag and his weapon then jumped over the campout stuff to get to the door. She looked up when she saw him and fear dominated, the child screaming at the stranger and backing into the railings.

Jeremy slid open the door then knelt holding out his hands and smiling softly.

“Hey, it’s ok. I’m alive. I’m not a zombie. See? Look, no bites.” He spoke softly. He had no idea how much speech this child understood but she did stop screaming when he spoke and started hiccupping, her little face red and swollen.

“Are you hungry? Thirsty? How long you been out here? Want some water?” He kept his tone low and soothing, making all his movements slow and rolling. She eyed him warily and he noted she was a little sunburnt and red from being stuck outside. He backed up giving her room to come closer if she wished and he stayed crouched as he moved back towards his bag, grabbing a water bottle to offer her.

He took his eyes off her long enough to unzip the bag and take out the water. When he turned back she was right there and throwing herself at him sobbing. Little arms came around his neck and he froze unsure of what to do before human empathy took over and he folded his arms around her. The girl sobbed into his neck and he brushed a hand down her hair and he held her tight and close, just letting her know with his grip that she was safe and was not alone.

She cried herself to sleep and he laid her down on the mattress that she and presumably her father, had been camping on. He peeked out the windows and noted the sun with a frown. There was no way he’d get out of the city with her before true dark fell. So, he’d have to spend the night here.

He called Joel as he set to work barricading the door he had opened, speaking quietly.

“Hey, Heyman. Runner seven here. It’s a girl, either a big three-year old or a small four-year-old. She hasn’t said a word.”

“ _Fuck man. Her parents?”_

Jeremys hands faltered as he had been shifting the couch to stare at the fabric for a moment.

“Near as I can tell, there wasn’t a mother. Just a father _...”_  He paused and shut his eyes for a second then open-ended them moving the couch again, “He got bit. Tried to run before he…well I met him on the stairs, trying to get back to her. He was already dead.”

“ _Jesus Christ Jeremy, fucking zombie apocalypse man…”_

“Preaching to the choir here Joel. Anyway, no way were making it out. Going to have to camp out.”

“ _That’s not the best idea Jeremy. That horde is just getting closer.”_

Jeremy pulled the couch into place the gestured as if Joel could see him, whispering furiously, glancing at the girl, not wanting to wake her.

“Well she’s stopped crying so they should fuck off, right? I don’t have much of a fucking choice dude. I can’t run at night with a fucking kid!”

_“Alright well, we’ll keep someone in here all night so you’ll have someone to contact.”_

Jeremy thanked him then signed off, checking out the supply of food and finding water containers with filters in them. As he was bent behind the counter, checking what they had, the girl awoke and started to whimper fearfully. He immediately came around, into sight, hands up once more.

“Hey, it’s ok. I’m still here.” She locked eyes on him and quietened but pulled her pillow into her arms to cuddle. Jeremy carefully settled on the end of the mattress, not wanting to frighten her. After a few moments, she shifted a little closer and he opened his arms for her to enter when she felt comfortable.

“My names Jeremy. But my friends call me Lil’J.” he introduced himself as she sat within the safety of his arms. She said nothing but lay her head on his chest over his heart, grabbing a fistful of sweat stained shirt.

“Do you have a name?” He asked. She nodded but said nothing. At least it was a sign she could both hear and understand him. He was sure children at this age could speak at least short sentences. He wasn’t sure, having no experience beyond seeing them around before the outbreak.

“You can call me Jay if you like.” He offered and got nothing in return. He sighed and just held her, his heart breaking for this little girl left alone in the world gone mad. This was no place for an adult let alone a toddler. He had a whole night to burn with her and he knew he wouldn’t be sleeping. Someone had to stay on watch.

“Did you want some water?” He offered her the water bottle he had brought over and with a glance at him, and a nod of permission, she all but snatched it, tipping it up as water dripped down either side of her mouth.

“Whoa! Ok, slow down sweetheart, don’t want a tummy ache.” Jeremy said gently lowering the bottle. She gasped in breath and looked up at him with big wide eyes.

“Molly.” She whispered so low it took a moment for him to understand what she had said.

“Molly?” He asked and she nodded so he smiled at her.

“Nice to meet you Molly. Are you hungry?”

Molly didn’t speak much at all but with Jeremy gentle tone and some food in her stomach he learnt a few things. Molly’s ‘mummy’ had left to find more supplies. They were trying to build up enough to last through winter. She didn’t come back and Molly’s dad was worried. After a week with the mother not returning, the father was going to make a break for it. ‘bad people’ lived at the airport but they were going to try there anyway.

They had gotten to the lobby when zombies attacked. Her dad had defended his child but had taken a bite in the process. He ran her back into the relative safety of the apartment they had settled in and then he’d tried to run before he was overcome.

Jeremy didn’t let Molly see his tears and he treated the girl to the energy bar that might have once tasted like plastic but now was basically chocolate to them. As she ate that, he held her in his lap.

“Well, I’m not going to take you to the Bad people place with the planes. My friends and I we all live at out the city. It’s like a, ah, slumber party, all the time. There are other kids there too. And balls to kick and room to run around. And its safe Molly, with big walls and people to look out for each other.”

As he was describing the township, Molly fell asleep again, this time against his chest and he left her there. Her weight was a warm comfort and as she slept and he kept watch, he thought about how rare this was. A small child.

He had never considered kids much before the outbreak. He had been young and enjoying just hanging out with friends, working and spending money on videogames. He had no long-term boyfriend and children weren’t a no so much as they just weren’t on his radar.

Now everything had changed. There were no pregnant people, no babies. It was too dangerous. The most asked for ‘non-essential’ item was condoms in the camp because no one wished to risk pregnancy or std’s breaking out. Looking at the serious faced young kids of the camp, no one wished to bring another into the world.

But here, now, with this orphan girl hugged against him, trusting him to keep her safe, Jeremy let his mind wander. Wander to a sandy blonde with deep blue eyes and a wide smile. Saw a cockily raised brow and strong arms that Jeremy could pass their child into, and know they were safe with…

Jeremy started, shaking his head which had nodded against his chest. Luckily Molly had at some point laid down on the bed so he hadn’t woken her with his movement. He sighed and rubbed his face roughly, trying to will himself awake. Stupid sub-conscious blending his current predicament with his longings.

Fuck he liked Ryan, he could admit that, but he didn’t know if he wanted to date in the apocalypse let along the logistics of children. Especially for a same gender couple! He scoffed at himself and pinched thigh till his winced. He needed not to drift off, he needed to stay focused.

He needed to call the township.

Jeremy stood and started to walk about in the space after pulling a sheet up over molly. Then he called achievement township in the hopes someone would talk to him and keep him awake.

“Anyone at the shack? Hopefully not boning each other.” He radioed in with a joke, sure Ray and Joel would be there together. Of course, with his luck…

“ _No boning here Lil’J, just a card house”_

Ryan…

“H-hey. Weren’t expecting you. Where’s Joel?”

“ _Asleep with lover boy. Lucky bastard.”_

“I didn’t know you liked ray.”

“ _Lucky about the sleep thing idiot. He’s lucky to be sleeping.”_

Oh, that was kinda obvious. Jeremy was really tired and not thinking right, his mind starting to drift even as he spoke to Ryan.

“So, why aren’t you?”

_“Geoff wanted someone here in case you needed to report…or just, you know…Talk…”_

He did want to talk. Talk about everything. Talk about nothing. Just fucking talk because he was falling asleep on his feet and the world made no sense and he had a child to protect through the night.

“Do you remember, napoleon ice-cream?” He said the first thing to come to mind. Ryan laughed once and Jeremy smiled to hear it.

“ _What about it?”_

“Well wasn’t it just the freaking worst?”

_“I quite like it actually.”_

“No, because chocolate would always run out, first wouldn’t it? Then vanilla then strawberry. Like if you didn’t want Strawberry, then why did you get napoleon ice-cream?”

_“Ha, Lil’J, how much sleep you running on?”_

“Maybe two hours? Like fuck what time did we get up this morning?”

_“We had plenty of time to sleep.”_

“I couldn’t.”

_“Well why didn’t you wake me? I could have helped.”_

“It’s not your job to help me sleep,” He chuckled cause the irony was sweet, “Your jobs to keep me awake now.”

“ _How would you like me to do that?”_

Jeremy sighed and looked at the sleeping child, thinking of his musings before. Of how he had been before the outbreak.

“Tell me about yourself. About before the outbreak.”

“ _Not much to tell. I was a computer technician by trade. I was smart enough for it so I kinda just followed my parent’s advice. I lived alone, I didn’t have to many friends. Hell, I’m more social now the world stopped then I ever was when there were people everywhere.”_

Jeremy chuckled, leaning against the wall near the door, and checked Molly again. She was sleeping so soundly and he heard nothing dire.

“I had some friends. But then again, I was in my early twenties so that’s kinda the socialising age, right?”

_“How old were you when it happened?”_

“Twenty-two. You?”

_“Twenty-eight. Though to be fair, I wasn’t that social in my early twenties either.” Ryan laughed and so did Jeremy, “I was a model in my early twenties for like a hot minute.”_

“You were wh-“ Jeremy paused mid exclamation as something sounded deep in the building. The sound of a door being broken in.

_“Jeremy?! Jeremy talk to me?! What happened?! Fuck Jeremy!”_

“Somethings coming, shut the fuck up so I can concentrate.” Jeremy hissed into his head set, snatching up his axe and shaking the girl awake. She was awake instantly and to the credit of her parents and the time she was raised in, was getting her shoes before he could say anything.

“Stay back from the door ok sweetheart? I’ll stop them.” Jeremy promised as she put her shoes on then took his hand, her smaller one shaking, “I won’t let them touch you.”

“zombs scary…” She murmured and he nodded, bringing her in to press against his leg.

“I know molly. They are scary. But it’ll be ok, they will not be coming in here. You just get ready to run alright? If I say run, you go, I’ll be right behind you.”

He felt her nod and he swallowed thickly, knowing if it came to that, he’d be dead and she would not survive the night. At least it didn’t sound like a horde when they did come. Thumping down the hallway then a bang against the broken door held shut by Jeremy’s barricade. He hefted his axe ready to fight, molly moving behind him until her heard a voice.

“Please! please molly, Anthony! It’s me! Please be in there! Please be ok!” A woman’s voice broken from behind the barricade.

“MOMMY!” Molly screamed and Jeremy caught her just before she could throw herself at the spikes.

“Molly!” The mother cried back then Jeremy picked up the squirming girl trying to stop her sobs and movements.

“Molly! Molly wait! Stop molly and I’ll let her in.” he tried to reason with the child who just wanted her mother.

“Who is that?! Anthony? Who’s in there!? You better not have hurt my girl!”

“My name is Jeremy! I’m from achievement township! Please tell molly to stop so I can clear the barricade! I’ll explain everything please!”

The mother yelled out to her daughter who stilled but cried as Jeremy put his axe aside and moved the things out of the way so the mother could wiggle in. The moment she was inside he shoved it back into place and looked at the reunited family only to see molly hiding behind the woman’s legs and a rifle aimed at his chest.

“Who the fuck are you. And Where is my husband?

“Daddy got bitten!” Molly cried into her mother’s legs and Jeremy started talking fast as the mother glanced down at her daughter, her eyes filling with tears and the gun was shaking.

“I’m runner seven from achievement township! We saw your daughter crying and alone so they sent me to fetch her!” the mother blinked fast to clear her vision. Glaring at Jeremy for a long moment.

“Why?” She asked sharply and Jeremy started to shrug only for her to firm up her grip and his hands moved higher in response.

“Why? Because she was alone that’s why! We aren’t leaving a fucking kid sobbing in the city alone! We are not fucking monsters!” Fear and anger made him spit the words out and the rifle lowered slowly. When it was pointing at the ground, she tipped her head at him.

“Thank you. For trying to help my Molly.” He looked at his own hands pointedly and then back at the mother.

“Your welcome. You’re not going to shoot me if I put my hands, down, are you?”

She scoffed but it turned into a caught sob. She shook her head, starting to tear up as she held the gun in one hand and knelt to hug her girl. Molly was crying and talking more than Jeremy had heard or could assume she could speak her mother speaking back rapidly and quietly. He took a few steps back and hit his radio.

“Ryan, I’m ok.”

“ _Oh, thank all the fucks, Jeremy, I was so worried.”_

“Naw rye, you do care.”

“ _Course he cares asshole, now what the fuck was up? Did you fight your way out? Were either of you bit?”_

Jeremy sighed and cursed himself. Why the hell does it happen that every time he said something meant for someone specific, someone else is always there to hear it? At least alone he wasn’t always putting his foot in his mouth.

“Geoff, hey! No wasn’t Zombs, turned out to be the mother.”

“ _The mother? I thought you said the girl only had the father and you put him down?”_

“Yeah well turns out the mother wasn’t dead after all so she-“

He almost jumped out of his skin when the bullet hit the transmitter on his belt and he fell over in surprise, the headset falling around his neck. To no one would he admit that the front of his pants were slightly damper as the mother bared down on him with the rifle.

“Who the fuck were you talking too!? Do you think I’m going to let us be rounded up by your sick fucks?!”

“What?! No! hey! Hey! Hey!” He yelled the heys rapidly as rifle barrel pressed into his neck, “Hey! What the fuck?! I was just talking to the township! I swear! They were worried about me that’s all!?”

“You think I can’t see through you? I don’t give a fuck about whatever goddam fucking project your running, you are not getting your hands on me or my girl!” She had murder in her eyes and Jeremy didn’t know what the misunderstanding was but he better correct it before he died.

“What project lady?! I don’t know what the fuck you’re on about! Seriously we saw an under fucking Fiver alone in the goddamn fucking APPOCOLAYSPE! THAT’S IT! We are Human beings and wanted to help a CHILD! So, stop threatening me!”

“You-“ she pressed closer, Jeremy swallowing hard but he didn’t get to hear what he was as the sounds of a zombie horde became clear in the small silence. Faint groans, shuffles and thumps coming from far below. The mothers face drained of colour then she was moving back.

“Grab your bag Molly, we’re leaving.” She said quickly, helping the little girl pack a bag. She threw the rifle aside and went into a room, coming back with a bat with nails beaten into the top. Jeremy slowly sat up and looked to the discounted rifle then back to the mother, a hand on his throat.

“It’s out?” He asked in disbelief as the mother hurried about throwing whatever she could into her own backpack.

“I thought you might be a recruiter for project freelancer, I’m sorry. I used the last bullet to destroy your transmitter.” She didn’t sound sorry, rushing around gathering things as her daughter stood ready, her small pack on, “But we all need to leave. The horde must have been alerted by the shouts.”

Jeremy had stopped listening to her, pulling the headset on and investigating the case. Fantastic shooting or luck had made it so all the knobs and part of the casing had been ripped away. He could receive but he couldn’t transmit.

“ _Jer-…-uo alive? Please Runner sev-…-finitely being receiv-…-an’t hear you? Can you hear us?-…”_

Ryan’s voice sounded low and urgent and Jeremy longed to answer it, but he couldn’t. He cursed rather colourfully as he got up, grabbing his own stuff and helping himself to the supplies the mother couldn’t carry.

“You’ve fucked us, just so you know.” Jeremy told her bitterly as he grabbed his axe.

“Please, just help me get my daughter out of here and somewhere safe.” She begged him and he bit down on the irritation. Now wasn’t the time for finger pointing, now was the time to fucking get the hell out of dodge.

“ _Jeremy, come on lad, answer us.”_

_“Runner seven, come in damn it! Jeremy!”_

 He couldn’t answer Geoff or Ryan no matter how sharply they called his name. He pushed the couch out of the way and fingered the axe. He had to get these two through. Jeremy, as much as he was furious with the mother, could not fault her for her actions.

“What’s your name?” He asked before he opened the door. She blinked at him a little surprised then narrowed her eyes.

“Elly.”

“hello Elly, hello Molly. I’m Jeremy Dooley, nice to meet you two.” He said politely smiling at molly and giving the mother a grimmer but still obvious smile.

“that’s how introductions used to be right?” the mother cocked her head, confused then she caught on. She nodded and gave a small sniffle and a half smile. Jeremy had recreated a small piece of normal before the nightmare.

“Yes. Thank you, Jeremy Dooley. I’m sorry for this.” She said sincerely, her hand resting on her daughter’s shoulders. He glanced at the girl then the mother nodding back.

“I am too. Let’s do this. If you guys break free, run for achievement township. Tell them Runner seven sent you and…”

“ _Jeremy, come on man, please don’t do this to me. Please come in.”_

“Can you tell a Ryan Haywood that I’m sorry. That his stupid book is under my mattress?”

Ryan had a habit of reading aloud, loud enough to keep you up but soft enough you can’t hear the words.

“ _Jeremy, I’m just going to keep talking to you until you answer me.”_

_“Ryan, he’s not going to answer.”_

_“Fuck off then Geoff, it’s only been a few minutes and the readings say we are being picked up.”_

With that understanding between them, Jeremy opened the door. The zombies hadn’t made it to their floor yet but when Jeremy looked down the hollow middle to the lobby he felt his pants get a little damper and his hands tremble.

“ _Unless you answer all you’re going to hear for the next ten minutes is the most annoying noises I can think of.”_

At least twenty, just from what he could see. It didn’t count the ones making their way up.

_“Ryan… something happened, you know it did.”_

Jeremy traded weapons with Elly, giving her the axe and getting the two behind him. He was going to clear a path for them to run through together. They just needed to make it out into the street.

_“He was safe, you heard him, the mother was back and-“_

_“No one goes radio quiet like that buddy, we’ve heard it before.”_

The stairs were the first hurdle. Jeremy caved in skulls, beating zombies back, kicking them into each other to stumble and fall, Molly being picked up so they could jump over them.

_“No! No, he’s fine! It could be a communication error.”_

He slammed another zombie, sending it to the railing and with a kick sent it tumbling over. A joke occurred to him but he didn’t mouth it, he had no time having to block the zombie lurching for the child and her mother.

_“Where were we Jeremy? Before you got interrupted?”_

_“Ryan, what do you think you’re doing?”_

“Duck!” Jeremy screamed and the mother ducked and moved to the side so Jeremy could put down a rotten man, old blood splattering everywhere.

_“Right, you wanted to know about my modelling days.”_

_“Ryan…”_

“Look out!” She screamed in return and a different zombie grabbed him, Jeremy turning in a panic feeling undead fingers dig into his skin.

_“Well, I wasn’t like a main liner or anything, kinda uninteresting.”_

 His back hit the floor and the bat was under the Zombies chin keeping those snapping teeth from his face barely.

_“I did get to go to Paris, which was kinda fun. Escargot is actually really nice- no Geoff, let me go!”_

_“Come on Ryan, you need to get out of here for a minute.”_

Then the pressure was off, Elly had kicked it in the head then smashed its neck with the axe as Jeremy turned his head not wanting zombie blood on his mouth, getting it sprayed over his chin and cheeks instead.

_“I meet some interesting people! but I have to say, since the worlds ended is when I meet the most interesting people in my life!”_

_“Ryan let go!”_

_“No! Fuck off!” the sound of a hit and a pained grunt._

Jeremy scrambled up then shouldered his way forward, the mother and daughter on his heels, the molly being carried again as Jeremy pushed and fought a hole through the horde one floor at a time, listening to the struggle in his headset as real as the one he was going through.

_“Ryan! Stop fighting us!”_

_“No! he’s ok! Jeremy! Listen you’re going to be ok!”_

The front doors were in sight but the throng was thick. Jeremy backed up one arm thrust out in a futile attempt to shield his cargo.

“there’s too many!” Elly moaned in despair and Jeremy nodded, knowing what would happen now.

“too many to get through if we tried to avoid being bitten…” he said quietly.

_“Just let him go Geoff. He can sit here until morning.”_

_“Jack, we can’t just-“_

_“Jeremy, I’m here. I’m not leaving until your home. Please, please come home. I’ll tell you about the time we found a working freezer. You’ll never guess what type of ice-cream was in it.”_

_“Christ… alright. Come get us when your ready rye… we’ll be here for you.”_

Jeremy blinked back tears and glanced around, the horde contracting around the space they had fought for themselves. He huffed out and glanced back at molly, her face peering at him from her mother’s shoulder. He tried to smile but it wouldn’t come.

“You remember what I said? Tell Ryan his books under my mattress? Can you tell him I’m sorry too?” Jeremys voice only broke once and Elly looked to him just before he threw himself at the zombies, swinging and shouting, making them all come to him…He was lost from sight quickly as Elly made a hole with her axe through the thinning out horde to the back of the building.

 

It had been hours and Jack and Geoff tried again to make Ryan leave. This time he was calmer, the time alone doing a lot to kill his urgency to stay by the mic. However, he wasn’t yet ready to leave for his bunk. There was nothing to be done, if he wished to say goodbye this way, then they’d have to let him. He would come to realize Jeremys death in time.

“Sorry about that, stepping out I mean. But I’m back now. Hello there…Or maybe I should be saying, damn you undead fiend who has taken over the body of my friend.” He laughed into the mic, more of a scoff then a chuckled then he sighed, glancing at the door then sitting down on Joel’s chair, wrapping his arms around the Mic and resting his head on its softly covered end.

“Or maybe…” he started shifting so he could speak directly into the mic again, his lips almost touching the cover, “I mean, sorry your dead Jeremy…I didn’t think you would be but time just keeps moving on and…I start to think…That wasn’t…That wasn’t right. Or fair. But when has any of this been right or fair? I think that’s the worst part you know? Not knowing. I mean my parents I know are dead because I- Well they’re dead. But my brother, did I ever tell you about my brother? No, I don’t suppose I did. No one really talks about before all this, do they?”

Ryan looked over the screens, the city feed still dead and no reply on the channel. It was nearing four in the morning by the small glow in the dark hello kitty watch balanced on a monitor.

“Four am. Did you know the most deaths occur between 3am and four Am? Morbid fact to know but hey. That’s what they call me, Ryan the morbid guy… Not you though. You called me Rye. Not Rye-bread or Rye-man or anything else. Just Rye. Or just Ryan. You’re so complicated Jeremy in that you’re so simple. Right and wrong still exist for you. Everyone matters equally. You are just so,” Ryan searched for the word and when it came to him he smiled, remembering Jeremy looking to him over a breakfast of rice and tomato sauce, “Genuine. You were-…are… Genuine in everything you do. Guess it helps that you got no filter and listen to me now, you could say the same.”

“Ah zombie Jeremy…If you are a zombie that is. I hope you don’t come back. I don’t want to see it. I don’t want to be the one that ends whatever half-life you have. I know, I know I promised but…You, you changed things for me. That Funhaus crap that went down, you reminded me of something. We are all still people. All of us, regardless of camps or groups or even the dead. Still people.”

Ryan felt the tears spill over and his voice caught, his hand grabbing the mic as he leant back in the seat bringing it with him so he could still talk but look at the ceiling running a hand through his hair.

“What the hell am I meant to do now? You’ve left me in quiet the bind. Another empty runner spot and, another empty bed.” He closed his eyes furrowing his eyebrows as he let the misery run over him, “Fuck I should have just fucking climbed in with you. I should have just damned the future and taken what the moment could give us. Now you’re gone and I have no idea what it would be like to hold you through the night. No Idea what it would have been to have you take me in your arms. I think I would have teased you, you know. Would have put my head to high so you’d have to jump and catch it…” He chuckled then he sobbed once, “God Jeremy, why would you do this? Come in, turn my life upside down then run out of it? Please Jeremy…Fucking please… God, I don’t know what I’m saying but, fuck, I need you. I need you to be ok. I need you to run home, run back to me here ok? Please? please…” Ryan dropped the mic, and hang his head in his hands, sobbing broken as he felt the last of his hope shatter.


	10. Not dealing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryan remembers some of the loss and doesn't deal well with Jeremy's death  
> ((obviously mentions of major character death, will add tag soon))

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm just going to leave this here...  
> *Collects up buckets in preparation for the tear harvest*

Ryan was at the office at the end of the world. He was underneath the desk in a cubicle, finishing plugging in the last few connections when he heard the screams. HE popped his head out and looked to the man whose computer he was wiring, the man was craning his head over the cubicle sides, looking for the source.

“I get cubicle jobs suck but is screaming really a common thing?” Ryan asked and the guy smiled briefly as he shook his head.

“No. As much as I’d like too, screaming isn’t really a-“ There was another chorus of screams, male and female then movement across the large room. Ryan got up and looked with the man, seeing others looking out towards the end of the room where one set of doors stood to the next lot of offices.

People burst in, terror on their faces and ran through the cubicle halls towards the exit on the other side.

“What the fuck?” Ryan’s cubicle mate muttered and grabbed one of the fleeing people.

“What’s wrong? Is someone shooting up the office or something?” he asked urgently and Ryan felt a thrill of fear down his spine. People were talking loudly now, the fleers yelling for people to get out.

“Mike! He just fucking…He keeled over man! Just fucking dropped! Then he got up and he-he-he-“

Ryan’s eyes widened as through the doors came a small mass of people, blood splattered and snarling. At the sound of snarls the guy who had been stopped pulled free panic on his face.

“RUN!!” He yelled and then took off himself. Ryan watched as someone moved forward hands out as if trying to ask what was wrong. Two of the snarling people jumped on her and brought her down, her screams ripping the air.

“FUCK!” Ryan cursed then moved back in the cubicle no longer craning, “What the fuck?!” He looked to the cubicle guy and they both had the same idea. They ran out, Ryan losing him in the fray as people tried to get away from the crowd biting and roaring its way through the office.

Ryan made it to the stairs and his stomach turned as he pounded down them. He must be wrong. He did not just see a woman getting eaten by people. They tackled her, that’s it. They are crazed sure but he did not see teeth sink into flesh.

He spilled into the lobby with the rest only for chaos to greet him. More blood and injured screaming. The crowd was a mix of terrified and insane, people being brought down like prey under a wolf pack, disappearing and blood misting. Ryan stepped back only to be shoved forward by the others behind him trying to get out.

He entered the fray. Hands, hard or pleading, reached for him. Humans bellowing and humans growling. Groans of pain and groans that echoed in his ears horrifically. Blood was everywhere, smeared down his arms, a hand grabbing his ankle but he pulled free then he was out in the street.

Pandemonium. Cars were crashing, buildings afire, people everywhere scattering randomly away from wherever groups of jaw snapping injured moved together, grabbing who they could. Ryan was witness, unable to deny anymore that the attackers were _bitting_ , teeth snapping at him and catching someone trying to dart by.

“ _HELPME!”_ They screamed and Ryan didn’t think, just striking out, smacking the cheek of the attacker where it was latched onto shoulder. He hit it again as the person they were bitting shrieked but it had no effect, the biter not letting go just digging in further. Another one came and grabbed at Ryan, Ryan kicking and pulling his arm out of grip only to see it turn and take a bite out of the person he had been trying to help.

Ryan Ran.

He ducked and dodged, weaved and rolled through the city gone mad. Everywhere there was riots, sirens sounding, gunshots. There was no time to think, just react. No time to ask why just run. He run to his parent’s place by instinct, even though his own had been closer, the run taking an hour. He pounded up the drive, this suburb a little quieter then the horror in the city streets, but still he saw next doors front door had been broken in and across the street he saw bodies hanging out of a car lodged in a house.

His parents’ house was not untouched, blood flecked up beside the front door and the windows were broken but dark, Ryan seeing furniture pressed against them. He got to the front door and started banging, yelling, uncaring who heard him. If the windows were Barricaded, that meant his parents were fine, right?

“MUM! DAD! Please! OPEN UP! It’s Ryan! It’s me! Are you ok!?”

“Ryan?! Quick open it!” He heard his mother’s voice and bit back a sob, pressing his forehead to the door, relief running through him. They were alive, they were ok. He heard the sounds of things being shifted then the lock being undone. His father grabbed him by the scruff and pulled him into the house and a hug.

He felt safe there. He was a full-grown man, an adult, who had lived away from his parents rule for over a decade and yet, the moment his father’s arms came around him, the familiar scent in his nose and the comfort of his broad shoulders, Ryan burst into tears. He felt and heard his father do the same and then his mother’s arms were around him as well and they were all crying, just so happy to be reunited.

“You’re safe, you’re home.” His father was murmuring brokenly and his mother was crying at his back until Ryan lifted and arm and managed to get her under it. They stayed huddled there for a long moment until his father giving a hoarse cough broke the moment.

Ryan shifted back, considering his father’s face, an older version of his own. He was red faced and sweating but he smiled at his son, tears still wetting around his eyes.

“talk to your mother, I got to move this stuff back.” He said, cupping Ryan’s cheek like he had when the boys were little, before walking over to the front door, replacing the Fridge that he had pressed against it. Ryan turned to fully embrace his mother who was slightly shorter then him and there was a fresh wave of tears before they could gather themselves.

“It was horrible mum. People were dyeing everywhere around me… I just- I ran, I couldn’t help, I tried mum, I did…” Ryan told her and she rubbed his back and hushed him, her head under his chin.

“It was bad here too. The Nelsons, they just…they were grabbing people and, and…”

She couldn’t finish and Ryan’s father came back, coughing into a fist and putting an arm around his wife, the three retreating into the Loungeroom, all the couches gone, pressed into windows, the dining room chairs out instead and Ryan’s father had out his rifle, leant against the lounge side table with a box of ammo beside it.

“Are you ok son? Are you injured?” His father asked him as they took seats, his mother shifting hers close to her husband and Ryan moving his so his knees were almost touching his dads.

“No, Just fucking sore. I ran here…”

“Ran here!?-“

“it’s everywhere, whatever it is. All through the city, I don’t know what fucking happened but It’s everywhere, people are just going insane!”

His father coughed again, his body heaving with it and Ryan finally could pay attention. In the safety and comfort of being home, with his parents, Ryan had calmed somewhat, his body recovering from his hard run. His mind had also been putting puzzle pieces together and he felt sick, like the words were about to be vomited out, yet he forced himself to ask.

“Dad? Did…Did they…are you alright?”

His father waved him off and His mother lay a hand on his thigh, her face concerned.

“It’s the stress. A man your fathers age shouldn’t be fighting the neighbours off! Or shifting furniture to block up the house!” She said defensively and Ryan felt his stomach drop out, no longer feeling sick because his body had been hollowed out.

“Fought the neighbours?” The blood flecked on the front door came to mind.

“Peter, Peter god damn Meyers. He blindsided me when I was getting the mail. Can you believe he bit me?! Right next to my own god damn front door! Had to give him the old right hook to get him off. He’s the reason we started barricading, then your mother watched the news and…” His father’s voice faded in Ryan’s hearing as he nodded, pretending to still be listening.

It couldn’t be possible.

This was not a horror movie, this was real life! Who the hell would live in this world, watch the movies, see the mistakes and think ‘Oh yeah, let’s make a zombie virus.’ It was a stupid thought. His father was just fine, they would all be fine. They just had to wait this out.

His father coughed hard and now he knew what he was looking for Ryan saw his father’s forearm had been bandaged tightly. His eye’s locked on it and his father coughed again. Ryan jerked back when his mother slapped him out of nowhere.

“Mum!”

“I know just what you’re thinking Ryan Haywood! All those nasty games and movies you and your brother played as children! Your father is fine! They are crazed not walking dead!” His mother was on her feet yelling at him, tears spilling from her angry face before she gasped, pressing her hands to her mouth, disbelief in her own actions crossing her features.

“Mum…” Ryan said softly then got up, hugging her as she broke down sobbing. He exchanged a helpless look with his father and his Dad looked from them down to his arm…and coughed…

Ryan slept soon after that and awoke into a nightmare worse than the one he ran through. His father turned during the night, his mother’s screams waking him before they were cut off in a gurgle. He pounded down the stairs to find his father over his mother, his father’s face at her neck. The blood was pooling and glazed dead eyes looked up to meet Ryan’s own.

They no longer matched.

Ryan choked in horror as his father came at him, hand reaching and face contracted in a snarl that would echo within Ryan’s head for the rest of his life. He didn’t think, just reacted, throwing the hands off himself and shoving his father back, throwing a kick in to keep him back as he edged around the zombie remains of his father to the rifle that had been knocked over.

He snatched it up and pointed it at his dad.

“Dad please…Don’t make me do this.” He sobbed, backing up with the gun raised. His father continued at him, looking as he had in life, only the blood around his mouth and his dead eyes any hint that the body moving towards Ryan was not living.

It still felt like murder when he pulled the trigger.

He almost turned it on himself when he had to do it again an hour later, his mother getting up from her fatal wounding. That night he knelt in the living room with the bodies of his parents and wept. The next morning, he left a note for his brother and then he ran.

He ran to find the only family he had left.

 

Ryan startled awake by the yells and calls of the camp having fallen asleep at the radio, hugged to the mic. He sat up, wiping sleep and tears away, having cried himself to sleep then dreamt of his parents. Dread twisted in his gut, please he couldn’t handle any more bad news right now and something had stirred up the camp.

Joel burst in, Ray just behind him.

“Ryan! You’re going to want to see this!” He said quickly then Ryan was brushing by him and running for the gate which was opening. Hope flared and a smile crossed his face. Jeremy was alive! He knew it! He did tell everyone and… But a woman walked in, exhausted and a young girl on her hip, the gates already lowering behind them as she spoke to Geoff.

Ryan had stopped without realizing, Joel’s hand on his shoulder startling him. He started forward again, slower this time and they approached.

“I’m so sorry. I made a mistake and he sacrificed himself for us. I’ll always be grateful to him and to you for sending someone for her.” The woman was mid conversation with a grim-faced Geoff who looked up when Ryan came to his side and put an arm around the numb man’s shoulders.

“Ryan, this is Elly and Molly. They were with…” words failed but Elly turned to him, her face drawn with chronic fatigue but she put out a free hand anyway.

“Ryan Haywood? Jeremy spoke of you, I’m so sorry to tell you he’s gone.” He didn’t take her hand, he just stared at her, this woman who got to live when Jeremy did not. The little girl had been resting her head on her mouthers shoulder and sucked on a thumb in a nervous habit that would have been frowned upon before the end but now no one said a word. She lifted her head now and pulled her thumb out, looking to Ryan.

“Jay said Sorry Ryan.” She said simply, Ryan’s dead stare turning from Elly to her young daughter, tears starting in his eyes even as his face stayed blank.

“What did you say?” He asked softly and the mother turned slightly so he could see less of her daughter and Geoff grabbed his upper arm with his free hand, the one across his shoulders going tight.

“What did you just say little girl?” he repeated his question, his voice as dead as his expression.

“Molly means no harm Mr Haywood. Jeremy asked us to pass on a message to you that’s all, molly doesn’t understand timing- “Elly tried to defend her daughter but Ryan now stared at her once more cutting across her.

“What message?”

“Ryan, I don’t think- “Geoff begun.

“WHAT…Message?”

“S-something about a b-book under his mattress? And that he was sorry.” Elly said quickly taking another step back and people contracting around them. Ryan was just blinking turning the words over in his mind as Geoff spoke around him too Joel.

“Maybe take him into the main house? He can use my bed and really why bring him out here at all you idiot?”

“Because I thought he might get some fucking closure, how was I meant to know this is the death that breaks him?”

“He’s sorry?” Ryan said and everyone fell quiet, “He’s sorry? Sorry about what? About hiding the book? About not crawling into bed with me? About fucking running off into the world to get eaten?! What is he sorry about!?” Ryan’s volume was growing and Geoff started tugging him back. Joel Grabbed Ryan’s arms from behind starting to help as Ray stepped forward and shooed Elly and molly away from Ryan’s meltdown.

“OH, he’s sorry?! WELL SORRY ISN’T FUCKING GOOD ENOUGH!” Ryan roared, trying to pull himself away from the arms holding him. He was going into that fucking city, finding Jeremy, zombie or not and show him what he thinks of his sorry.

“Sorry I got bit?! Not good enough! SORRY I DIDN’T COME BACK?! NOT GOOD ENOUGH JEREMY YOU BASTARD!! DO YOU HEAR ME?! NOT FUCKING GOOD ENOUGH!” Ryan was roaring at the gate while Joel and Geoff bodily picked him up, his legs kicking at nothing and throwing his head side to side as he ranted.

“This whole fucking world is not good enough! NO! I’M DONE! I’VE HAD IT! Fucking people I love keep fucking DIEING and SORRY isn’t MAKING IT ANYFUCKING BETTER!!”

“Ryan shut up!” Geoff begged him, people watching as strong, supportive, quiet Ryan Haywood, the man to always keep his head under pressure, broke and screamed what everyone was always thinking.

Jack ran over, Caiti on his heels and he had a rare needle in his hand. Geoff and Joel struggling with their load, still hesitated as the doc drew closer.

“Really Jack?”

“You look me in the eye and tell me he doesn’t need it.”

Geoff couldn’t so Ryan was put to sleep with one of their precious and rationed sedatives.

 

When he woke the second time he was lying in a bed, a large bed that smelt of Geoff and Booze. He blinked, taking in the room from his position. The cupboard doors were shut and there were clothes on the floor. A picture hung on the wall of Geoff and a woman with coloured tipped blonde hair, hugged together before a wooden sculpture. Drink bottles were standing and laying about on the bedside table, another photo of A younger Geoff, his arms around Young Joel and Jack.

Ryan rolled onto his back and became aware that Geoff was sitting next to him on the bed, his back against the headboard and a bottle of some brown liquid in his hands. Geoff glanced down at him then took a burning sip, wincing then sighing, the smell of hard liquor on his breath.

“Welcome to the no hope club.” Geoff said offering Ryan the bottle. Ryan hadn’t touched a drop in years but today he sat up, scooting back and taking what was offered. The first sip burnt and he coughed as it settled in a hard hot lump in his empty stomach. Geoff chuckled and sighed, taking his own sip, this one smooth for him.

“You’ll get used to it. Soon the burn is easier to deal with then the thoughts.” He told Ryan grandly tapping his head. Ryan pulled his knees to his chest and hugged them. Geoff sighed and gave him the bottle for another drink which Ryan did take again without a word.

“At least you know. Griff, she...” he nodded his head at the picture of himself and his wife, “She could still be alive. I don’t know where she is if she is alive, that meant she hadn’t come back here but…It’s possible. She went to that chainsaw artist meet when the outbreak happened. I should have looked for her then but I thought…She’s capable, she’s smart, she’ll make her way home and I’ll be waiting…”

Geoff sighed heavily and the bottle went up again, Ryan raising a brow as Geoff drunk like it was water. Geoff growled and coughed once, shaking his head as the bottle came down. Ryan took it from him and took another mouthful himself before putting it aside.

“Ah Rye…I know it sucks man.” Geoff said quietly, rubbing his hand over his own cheek as Ryan watched. Ryan waited for the rest of the sentence, the don’t give up, we can still make it through part. But it didn’t come.

He picked the bottle up after a few minutes, another mouthful and gave it back too Geoff.

Half an hour later had them laying side by side, Geoff pointing at the ceiling as he spoke, tracing the cracks for Ryan’s amusement.

“See? It’s totally two dogs humping, right?” He chuckled drunkenly and Ryan agreed, pointing his own finger at the cracks.

“You got dogs doing it above your head every night!” He exclaimed and laughed, his words slurring. Geoff rolled and produced a new bottle that had Ryan’s mouth-watering and the man chuckling.

“Where the fuck does you keep getting these Geoff?” he slurred and Geoff gave a happy moan at the first mouthful, handing tit to Ryan, liquor spilling onto them both but neither caring.

“I’m a booze hound Rye…can sniff it for Miles!” he laughed at his own joke and Ryan laughed with him, the sensation pleasant as the bed rocked gently, soothingly. He was on a ship in the middle of nowhere, with his friend at his side and his worry’s behind him. Alcohol…why did he always avoid it? It was his friend…

 

“Alcohol is not my friend!” Ryan moaned over a bucket in the living room, Joel by his side patting his back. Outside they could hear the heaving of Geoff and the soft murmur of Jack. Joel just patted his back some more as Ryan heaved again, splattering the bucket with everything in his stomach.

“Let it out. Let it all out. Maybe not that much you do need a stomach.” Joel coached in a deadpan. They had lost Jeremy yesterday night and Geoff and Ryan had spent the most of this one drunk. Now it was sobering up time as the morning started to climb and their friends helped them through it.

Ryan winced as a commotion went up, people outside stirred and yelling unmindful of the danger. Ryan pressed a hand to his head, everything throbbing.

“Oh god, what now? Can you just shoot me please?” He asked of Joel who scoffed then they heard Michael out the front, Geoff yelling at him to be quiet but the lad just yelled over the top of him.

“Where’s Ryan?!”

“Inside you asshole! Fucking Hungover so shut your mouth!” Michael opened the door midway through Geoff’s sentence and his eyes locked on Ryan.

“Fucking, he’s running for the gate rye! It’s-” Joel cried out as the vomit bucket spilled out onto the ground Ryan shoving by Michael and Running, running faster than he ever had, his headache just ignored out of existence, his limbs flying as he locked eyes on the gate and the figure stumbling to a stop just inside the safety of the camp.

Ryan didn’t stop, he didn’t care about protocols or checking for bites or what had happened. He didn’t even care if this was a delusion or a dream or just he fucking died of alcohol poisoning. Jeremy straightened from his panting over his knees at the sound of Ryan’s feet slapping the ground and he opened his arms to receive him.

Their lips met, and Ryan’s arms went around Jeremy even as the man hugged him close, squeezing tightly, one hand on the back of Ryan’s head, making sure the taller man stayed where they could kiss. Tears from both wet their faces making the taste mostly of salt but neither cared.

“Rye! Ryan! I came as fast as I could!” Jeremy started to say against his lips and Ryan sobbed as he pressed back.

“I knew it! I knew you weren’t dead!”

“I heard you! I heard everything! You’re talking to me got me through the night Rye!”

“Jeremy, Jeremy, Jeremy.” He chanted as he finally broke from his lips to bury his face in Jeremys neck, feeling the lad do the same. Jeremy’s story could wait because right now, Ryan only cared that he was here, alive and holding him and for once in this goddamn fucking nightmare, did a dream come true for Ryan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Or i'll never add the Major character death because not dead! YEEE come on people I am Jeremwood trash really think Id kill off jeremy...so soon anyway?


	11. Annnnddd We're back!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The year has been rough, but mostly uneventful. After all, massive losses are not anything interesting anymore, a life a month almost expected...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ATTENTION  
> So when I started this Geoff was still drinking. Now he's given up and I couldn't be happier for him, he seems so much happier and that's fantastic  
> However, these are highly fictionalized people based on the core personalities of the RT members bearing the same name. So with that in mind, Geoff will continue to have an alcohol problem that we will work to resolve rather then have it magically cured. If that bothers you, I respect that but I suggest reading something else. Geoff's problem will be dealt with, but it will be a struggle as it would be in this unique situation  
> Thanks for bearing with me, enjoy the apocalypse!

Time used to be measured in minutes, by the hours on a clock, the days on a calendar.   
Now time was measured by the heartbeat, by the colour of the leaves on the tree’s and the rot of a zombie's body.

Achievement township, one of the few remaining strongholds of humanity had its ups. There were patrolled walls, a fully trained medical doctor, company. Sometimes they even had luck, like when a runner survived two full nights in the city and came back unbitten. Or when another runner managed to down a deer for fresh meat for the encampment.

But, it also had some downs, and always, the downs seemed more common than the up. When Jeremy had first come, the number had floated around sixty. Today, with the death of another man, they were at twenty three.

It had been a tough year.

“Caleb was a good kid. He always had a smile, and was ready to fucking help you know? Sure we gave him shit, but his frisbee games were the highlight of our apocalypse free days.” Geoff was giving the eulogy as caleb's body drifted into ash, his drawn face serious, eyes red rimmed but dry, “Jack said he was a quick study with medical shit. I know i’m gonna miss that little asshole teasing me about my boo-boo’s when i go in the medical shed.”

Jeremy held Ryans hand, the lead runners face was dry as well, standing stiff and staring into the flames. Jeremy wiped away a tear, and looked about, knowing Ryan wouldn’t want anything more than the comfort jeremy was giving now.

Caiti was sobbing quietly against Jack's chest, his head tucked over hers, tears flowing unashamed down his face. Ray had crossed his arms and was looking up at the morning sky, determined not to feel the loss. His Boyfriend, Joel, had put his arms around Ray's neck, pulling his back to Joel's chest where he could be safe to express or not express as much feeling as he wished. Michael had an arm around Gavin who had his hands pressed to his mouth, trying to soften his own tears.

He turned his attention back to Geoff as their leader wiped a hand over their mouth and spoke a little louder, “It seems unfair doesn’t it? At the end of the world, we fear most the hordes that wander about the city that used to be ours. And here’s Caleb, young, full of life, potential, our friend… Fucking reaction to a wasp sting? I’ll tell you what is fair though. Caleb died, and he stayed human. He gets to rest, ashes to fucking ashes…”

  
Jeremy waited for the rest but there was nothing. Geoff stepping back and reaching into his pocket to produce a flask which he started to unscrew. Jon started stepping forward, Mica waiting behind him when Ryan pulled away from Jeremy. Jeremy cast jon an apologetic look, giving him a gesture to start his speech without them, following Ryan back towards the bunkhouse.

“Ryan.” Jeremy called once they were a little distance from the funeral pyre, hoping his boyfriend would slow his longer stride for him. No such luck, Ryan disappearing into the bunkhouse without even glancing back. Of course Jeremy followed him, finding Ryan sitting on their bed, hands clasped between his knees.

“Jeremy… Please… Leave me alone.” Ryan asked him in a dead voice.

“Not a chance sulky pants.” Jeremy joked softly, Ryan’s statue impression breaking with a wet scoff, the tears he had been fighting back starting to well. The younger man sat next to him, slipping his leg under himself, the other hanging beside ryans, his arm sliding around Ryan's waist.

“Jeremy please.” Ryan grabbed his hand and pulled it away from his waist, Jeremy shuffling to respect his space, “I’m sorry I just can’t right now.”

Jeremy nodded, clasping his hands and watched Ryan wipe a few tears away, “What's up Rye? You don’t want a hug, than fine I can respect that. But talk to me.”

“I just, I just can’t. It’s too much.”

“No what would be too much is if I were to blow you right now.” Jeremy pointed out getting the laugh he’d been hoping for which made him smile, “Which I am not going to do. So, why no hugs?”

Ryan breathed out long, twisting his fingers together, “Just… Why? Why do we get to be happy? You came back and these last eleven months, they’ve been the worst for everyone else, while we just get stronger together. Caleb deserved to live a long life, and find a girl and settle down and have big dumb athletic disc chasing kids.”

Jeremy tilted his head, his heart breaking not just for Caleb but for the guilt that prevented Ryan from being happy. Ryan hated to lose people. The deaths over the past few months, all the people making a run for it, especially when Miles, Kerry and Kyle had gone was destroying everything Ryan was. He was too loyal for the end of the world, he felt things too deeply.

“Ryan, just because it's over for Caleb, doesn’t mean it's over for all of us. We are allowed a bit of fucking comfort babe. God will not strike you down for getting a hug when you really need one.” He moved to hug Ryan once more but Ryan jumped back, looking at Jeremy sharply.

“What if he is?”

“What?” Jeremy asked, Ryan had lost him with that one.

“God.” Ryan gestured up angrily in emphasis, “What if God is striking us down? This is it, this end of the world, which only wipes out the humans I might add, this is God washing his hands of a failed project?”

Jeremy caught Ryan’s chin in his hand, and brought him in close, wrapping his other arm around him in the hug he kept fleeing. Jeremy looked deep into Ryan's crystal blue eyes, always sharper after a cry, noted the lines that aged him more than a man in his thirties had a right to be, the blonde hair growing slightly unruly.

“Than Fuck Him.” Jeremy said sincerely, “Sor-ry we didn’t turn out like He fucking wanted. Humanity on a whole has done their fucking best; this encampment, has done their fucking best. You, Ryan, have done your absolute fucking best and if God doesn’t think that's good enough, that you don’t deserve to be fucking loved and comforted well…” Jeremy grinned and said it as clearly as he could, “God can kiss my hairy ass because you deserve every ounce of good that manages to cross your path Ryan haywood.”

Ryan made a soft sound and leant in to capture him in a kiss.

No matter how many times they did this, it was always a shock to Jeremy's system. Ryans lips were softer than anyones had a right to be and jeremy didn’t care about how chapped he was. They both had damage from wind and sun, and neither cared. As always, Jeremy felt tension melt out of his body at the familiar play Ryan made, a soft teasing flick of his tongue at Jeremy's lips. He always made Jeremy feel like they had all the time in the world even though of course they didn’t.

Case in point came as Peter walked into the bunkhouse, “Ryan? Ryan you in- Oh hey, sorry, I’m interrupting.”

Ryan pulled back, Jeremy pressing his forehead to Ryan's shoulder with a sigh before also sitting up.

“No Peter, what’s up. Am I needed?” Ryan asked and Peter nodded, rubbing the back of his neck still slightly embarrassed to have caught them kissing.

“Yeah, we got runners from Funhaus here.”

“Oh? Who?” Jeremy asked curiously, he had friends amongst the Funhaus encampment. Since saving Elyse when he first joined achievement township, he had a standing invitation to join Funhaus. Of course, Jeremy found he was happy where he was, but he still enjoyed friends from the other camp.

“Peake, Valerie and James.” Peter reported as Ryan and Jeremy got up. Ryan thanks Peter who ducked out and Ryan took the opportunity to take Jeremy’s hands in his. Jeremy looked up at him, with the wide trusting eyes Ryan had learnt to love, hating the lines of worry in the corner of them.

“I know you want to see James but if representatives from Funhaus are here, they’re gonna want to speak to the heads. I promise, after the meeting I’ll come get you.” Ryan promised softly, his shorter boyfriend sighing and hugging him tight, “I love you.”

Jeremy looked up at him from his embrace, smile cracking on his tired face for Ryan didn’t often say the words. He jumped up on tiptoe to kiss Ryan again, sweetly and brief on the lips.

“I love you too.”

 

-

  
“I love you.”

Ray scoffed at Joel’s murmur into his ear. With the runners from Funhaus, Joel was going to attend the meeting with Geoff which meant saying goodbye for a short time. Lucky or unlucky, Ray couldn’t decide, Joel always said goodbye as if they were never going to see each other again, even for the shortest of seperations.

“Your going into the main house. I’m just going to be over here, throwing things at Jeremy's head and seeing how long till the long faced idiot notices.” Ray pointed out where jeremy was sitting by their water tanks, staring up at the clouds, “Seriously dude, calm your shit.”

Joel didn’t mind Ray brushing him off, he knew the lad wasn’t as comfortable with emotion as he was. That's why Joel gathered him up, sweeping him off his feet and spinning with him to hear those lovely objections coated in laughter. When he set Ray back onto his feet, he lent in and kissed him, the warmth Ray brought blossoming in his chest, chasing away the cold.

“But You love when I get excited.” Joel winked and sighed, shifting back, “I’ll meet you up first thing after if I can.” He assured Ray, giving him a wave as he walked towards Geoff’s house. As his foot hit the front deck, his mind threw up a memory, uncalled for and vivid.

The bloodless face loomed out at him, teeth gnashing, undead eyes rolling, hands reaching.

Joel screwed his eyes shut as hands nearly reached him, not flinching from his past, schooled to not react. He counted, body tense as his mind kept telling him he was about to have his throat ripped out by their nearest neighbour. Before the walls had been built, he, Geoff, Jack and Caiti had dealt with all kinds of intruders, including the undead.

“Joel?” Jacks voice made him open his eyes, turning on the empty deck to look at his friend. Jack got to the top of the stairs and put a hand on his shoulder. Joel smiled and shrugged it off, liking to keep the camp as carefree as he could. Jack smiled back softly, he knew and understood conveyed in his eyes, “So funhouse huh?”

“The funnest of their house I’m told.” Joel shot back as they went inside together, “The newbie, the mute and the Hyperactive idiot- Hey james!” Joel put his arms out like he hadn’t just been insulting the man. James folded his arms and scoffed shaking his head

“Like I’m gonna hug you and risk the wrath of the world's scariest twink.” James joked making Joel laugh and put out a single hand instead that James took and shook with a strong grip, “How you doing man?”

“Yeah, Yeah, we get it, you both having fun, can we please deliver our fucking message and leave?” A Woman Joel had never seen before spoke with an australian accent, one more thick than Caiti’s pleasant voice. Fiery red hair to suit her fiery personality and blue eyes filled with suspicion as she glared at Joel.

Joels eyes went from the distrustful woman too the ever silent Peake, who tipped him a nod. At the kitchen table sat Ryan already, a bowl of slightly wrinkled apples in front of him. Geoff had a drink already poured, the bottle beside the glass as he stood up and gestured, “That’s a great idea sweetheart, but since we're all friends here-”

“I’m not your sweetheart and I’m not your friend.” The woman cut Geoff off rudely, bristling at the leaders words. Joel noted how she seemed to calm slightly when Peake put a hand on the small of her back for a moment and James chuckled.

“Val, lets just have a seat and let me do the talking, K?”

“I’m not a child James.” She hissed back but as they all sat one by one, she joined them at the table. Peake raised his hands, motioning at her and she replied, once again becoming a little less stiff.

Joel could have sat down, could have made things easy… but where’s the fun? He grabbed his chair and spun it around, throwing a leg over and straddling it, grabbing and apple to take a loud bite out of it.

“Mmmm,” He exaggerated the tastyness of the early harvest, making sure his mouth was full of chomped fruit when he spoke, “Nothing like a bIt of fruit during a meeting right?”

He was delighted at the sour look Val shot him, and even more so when Geoff sighed and downed have his glass with a grimace. He waved a hand at him, “Joel, shut your face would ya? Let them talk.”

“Well, we got attacked by Raiders Geoff.” James told him, getting up and stretching to grab an apple himself, “They took out two of our people, injured a third before we managed to kill them all.”

Jack sucked in a breath and ryan gave a soft curse. Joel chewed a little slower and swallowed thickly. Raiders were bad news indeed and Joels mind leap straight to the wall and the men who guarded it. Ray, who guarded it…

“Raiders? How have they not died out yet?” Ryan asked the table, “Anyone who’s alive right now should be fortified like we are.”

“It could be Macklemore. Haven’t heard from those jerks in quite a bit.” Jack suggested the airport camp, the surprise of it making Joel suck in a piece of apple and coughing hard to bring it back up, spluttering as he thumped his chest. Finally he spat it out an heaved in a rattling breath, looking up with tears in his eyes to see his friends had moved to come try to help him.

“M-Macklemore? They- they haven’t been by in ages.” He wheezed out, forcing himself to speak louder despite his hoarse throat, “Me and Adam have heard nothing on the radio.”

“Which doesn’t mean it wasn’t them.” Geoff pointed out, looking Joel over with concern that eased when Joel gave him a thumbs up to indicate he was fine. Peake tapped the table with his knuckles before he started motioning, Ryan nodding but Geoff and Joel looking blank.

“Peake says it doesn’t matter who it is, it just matters we got attacked and we are warning you there might be more raiders in the area.” James translated for those who didn’t know sign language.

“Yeah, at the airport.” Jack insisted stubbornly, Joel's eyes turning to Geoff when he spoke.

“Look either way, this just makes defence our top priority followed closely by getting the long range transmitter functional again.” Geoff put in sternly looking at Joel who put his hands up in defence, his half eaten apple on the table in front of him since it was now too risky to eat.

“Look I told you Geoff, I don’t have the parts ok? Maybe in the centre of city there's some unraided stores but we can’t get to them.” Joel defended himself and his friend Adam Ellis on their patch job keeping the radios going, “Horde likes to party down just where we need to be, everyone knows that.”

“I won’t send anyone into certain death Geoff, don’t even ask. No matter how quiet, the central city is death.” Ryan said before Geoff could even propose some stupid idea fueled by alcohol and desperation. Geoff thumped the table hard enough the bowl jumped with it, frustration clear on his face.

“We need to do something!” he snapped, getting up and knocking his chair down, beginning to pace with all eyes on him, “We are going to fucking die here soon! Caleb is just the fucking latest and we are all going to join him in that fucking grave!”

It took only a three way exchange of glances the Geoff's friends got into action. Ryan got up and came to Geoff, putting his hands up and moving slow, speaking low and soothingly. Jack moved on one side of the table, Joel the other, smiling and gently ejecting their Funhaus allies so Geoff could have his breakdown in peace.

“So, dinner and a show, show portions over.” Joel joked, picking up the bowl of apples and shoving it into James chest, “Come on, up and at them, them being the door as in time to leave.”

“Thank you for the heads up, we appreciate that, we got some more apples, we found a small grove growing out of someone's backyard, happy to give you guys a bunch to take home with you.” Jack said polite but forceful.

“Your kicking us out? But we just got here!” Valerie objected, James handing her the bowl much to her annoyance.

“Look, I can see you guys got hit bad too these few months, but I do have a suggestion to make to solve our problems!” James tried to say loud enough for Geoff to hear even with his face in Ryans shoulder. Joel however knew it was not the time for plans, gently pushing James at the front door with his pals.

“Look man, I dunno what to tell you but Geoff lost someone he really considered one of his kids, so like, give him a moment before you start spouting madlib at him.” He advised, pushing them out onto the front porch and shutting the door behind him, “Feel free to hit us with it though.”

Jack nodded his agreement and James started talking. As he spoke, Joel wished that he’d not offered to hear him out. The sad part was that it was actually a workable if somewhat improvise heavy plan. Which meant that when Geoff heard he’d probably agree.

Joel ran a hand through his hair and hoped Ray would consent to giving him a much needed massage to try and get some of the stress out of his shoulders tonight.

  
As Joel and Jack ejected Funhaus, Ryan approached Geoff, “look, I realise things look bad Geoff but we are going to get through this.” he started, catching the pacing man by the shoulders making him look at Ryan with bloodshot eyes that filled Ryan with worry, “Christ Geoff, how much have you drunk today?”

“Not E-Fucking-nough.” Geoff growled, trying to pull away to reach for the bottle again. Ryans turned his hands from comforting to restricting, stopping his friend from killing himself with alcohol, earning a whisky weak shove from him. It barely made him move, nor did Geoff’s voice get higher than a murmur, “Fuck off you narc, lemme drink…”

“No Geoff, I think you’ve had enough.” Ryan said firmly, pulling Geoff away from the table, horror and sorrow blooming when Geoff started to sniffle. Quick as thought Ryan pulled Geoff into his arms fully, Geoff’s face pressing into his shoulder as sniffles turned too snuffling that turned to sobs.

“I have Ryan! I’ve had enough! Everytime we build up this fucking place, it gets torn down! Every-every t-time I think we’re gonna be ok, people die. Or fucking run away! Miles brought me my drinks, who the fucks going to bring them now huh? Who’s gonna look out for ol’ G-geoff huh?”

“I will Geoff.” Ryan swore he would, holding his broken friend as Geoff had done for him in the past. Unlike then however, this time Geoff snorted and grabbed Ryan’s shirt. Whether to push him away or pull him in tight, Ryan didn’t know, but Geoff clung to him with all his strength.

“Fuck off you will! Y-You got J-Jeremy now! You don’t want me, you never did.” Geoff cried, Ryan’s body feeling flush at the admittance of Geoff’s feelings, “Griffon’s dead and I thought you didn’t want anyone. Then his short, sweet and ha-handsome arrives and there goes R-Ryan, tripping over himself for the n-new guy!”

“Geoff.. You said you didn’t know if Griffon was dead.” Ryan would never ever hit on a married guy, even if the world had ended, Ryan was not ready to throw all his humanity out the window. Geoff snorted wetly, drawing back with his red ringed eyes swollen from tears to glare at him.

“Then where is she? Five years I’ve s-sat here and waited!” Geoff wailed eyes spilling over again, yanking Ryan this time, burying his head in Ryans chest to sob hard, “She’s dead and when you thought Jeremy was dead too, I thought here's my fucking chance cause I’m a goddamn fucking fool! But Jeremy's alive and I’m glad but also, now I’ll never ever have anything to live for.”

“Geoff… You got plenty to live for…” Ryan had no idea what to say, trying to rub Geoff’s back and comfort him without promising anything he couldn’t deliver. It seemed to be the wrong thing however because Geoff made up his mind, shoving Ryan again, trying to back off from him.

“No I don’t! I don’t have dick all! And neither does anybody else for that matter. We’re all dead men walking now Ryan. All of us. Even the ones with a heartbeat!” and with that, Geoff swayed, Ryan catching him before he could fall to the ground, Geoff bursting into fresh tears and howling, “Caleb! A fucking sting? You cheating prick! Coulda stuck it out with the rest of us asshole!”

Ryan lifted Geoff and helped him start walking towards his bedroom. He had no idea what else he could do. He just knew that the simple but hard times were over and his life would once again be full of situations he had no idea how to handle. At least this time, he’d have Jeremy by his side to deal with it.

However, as he looked sideways as Geoff ranted and cried about his life, Ryan thought he might keep Geoff's declaration to himself for now. At least until Geoff was sober and rested enough to discuss it properly…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, please kudos and mroe importantly comment if you liked it. even if the comment is a <3 thats all it takes to inspire an new chapter!  
> thanks to those who waited so long for this, and the recent influx of comments inspired this chapter so i hope you enjoyed it!

**Author's Note:**

> please comment and Kudos if you enjoyed it, it's the only way i know you guys like and want more :)


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